Sampson and Devilah #6

“What about your husband?” asked the brave vigilante, shivering not from cold but embarrassment before the fire in nature’s finest attire after his Ointment ordeal. “Oh, he won’t mind. He’s been through that before. You’re lucky though, he got the full dose! That trap you sprang just releases a focused spray. Your armor should even be fine after another hour’s soak. Now you just sit there and let that ointment do it’s job.” “Traps. I’m… not very good at traps.” “So I saw. You know, you’re quite a specimen for a human, Mr. Sampson.” “ Hey!” Sampson shouted and closed his legs.
“Thickheaded, but in more ways than one,” suggested Devilah in a whisper. “So I also saw,” smiled Shabhira. “You’re a lucky girl!” “Someday,” said Devilah with a wistful glance at her man, “…someday”. “Oh, it’s like that is it?” Devilah nodded.
“Well, so tell me, what’s this quest you’re on. Who is this Black Cat?” “Ah, my nemesis. She is a demon, rejected even by the Dark Brotherhood. A purveyor of evil. Who knows how many lives she has snuffed out? I seek to rid the earth of her foul life!” “I see… and where are you going to find her?” “A haunt known as the Tails of the Khajiit, where she hides in plain sight. She now goes by the appellation ‘Kitty’.”
“We met a man who has seen her,” Sampson went on, “and lucky he is that he escaped with his life. She even had the audacity to pose for the smut rag openly! Oh her countenance and pride in her misdeeds will soon see an end!” “I seem to recall you were particularly affronted by that picture of her rear. You seemed to study it quite closely,” Devilah noted. “I’ve committed that heinous image to memory. When I find her, no disguise shall deceive me.” “Not if you see her from behind I guess.”
Meanwhile Shabhira’s mind was racing furiously behind her calm exterior. “Ah, yes. Perhaps I can help you! This… Kitty. She left the Tails some time ago as I understand. My poor husband had the misfortune of meeting her before he met me. I understand she now lives in a castle near Markarth. I’m sure if you go there, they’ll know how to direct you to her. She only just arrived recently and the new owner of a castle isn’t likely to go unnoticed!”
“Ma’am, you are a delight! But now I must be off! Come Devilah, there’s no time to waste! Oh, but I have no coin to pay you with for your helpful information. Perhaps, Devilah, you would like to do her a favor as you have so many others?” Devilah looked to her fellow female Khajiit, “I… don’t think she’d be interested.” “Then let us be off!” said the hero, striking his best heroic pose. The Black Cat awaits!“
"Um…” Sabhira said as she found herself staring a bit too close at Sampson’s manhood. “Sampson… your armor?” Devilah pointed out. “Oh!!! Sorry!!! Ma’am? Can I get my armor back?”
Shabhira retrieved the metalwork from a tub of greenish water. “That should be sufficient. The leather bits will still have some lingering odor, but when you replace them they’ll be fine. And you will replace them. I guarantee it.” And with that, the hero and his companion took leave of Shabhira.
Three hours later FarSeer came home to an empty cabin. He soon found a note left on the table from his wife however that read: Dear Lover, That warrior and his ‘supposed’ servant are looking for Kitty and aim to kill her! I’ve GOT to go warn her. I’m worried about him, but I think Ubergard can handle him. But that Devilah worries me, there’s something not right about her. I’ve pointed them to Markarth but at best that will only buy her a couple of days. Please don’t follow me, you know Kitty still has feelings for you and I don’t want to bring all that up again. I’ve made you dinner, it’s in the icebox. Don’t bring your buddies in the house. I have traps set if more than two feet tread the floorboards. I’ll be back in a few days. And don’t forget to drink your vegetable puree. It’s good for you. Love, Kisses and that other thing I do… Shabhira
The werewolf sniffed the air and considered following, but decided his wife was usually right, and instead went to check the icebox.

Sampson and Devilah #5

“I think you must be the single most charitable person I know, Devilah! You must have been in there two hours! Did you clean his plumbing around the whole house?” “Around the world would be a more apt description,” Devilah replied, rubbing her rump. “He’s insatiable! Must be a Furry!” Behind them, Kalolf was on his knees, still begging Devilah to marry him. “I only wish I could have spared you and allowed you to stay with him. But you know you are precious to me, my long suffering Beatrice.” The Khajiit, walking somewhat bow-legged, looked at the hulking hero. “That’s… actually nice of you to say!” she smiled. “Well, at last we have a name… Kitty.”
“You seem to be walking oddly. Perhaps you would like some relief?” “ Now you ask me to ride? I don’t even think I can sit! Kalolf may look like a pudgy middle-aged man, but I tell you he has the stamina of a lion!” “Oh no. I was going to stop to let Horse rest. You know I must ride. I must maintain my strength…” “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Devilah finished for him. “I know, I know. Fucking lazy prick,” she said trailing off.
Nightfall found the hero and the Khajiit walking back from Falkreath. “A pity we turned down the wrong road. I think we could have been in Whiterun tonight.” “Hey, you fucking turned! I thought you read the signpost!” “Nonsense, I just followed the arrow.” “There were lots of arrows on that sign you dolt! I swear, if you weren’t such a hunk…”
“Hush! Did you hear that?” asked Sampson. A howl from the hills behind them stopped Sampson is his tracks. He immediately dismounted and tied Horse up to a nearby tree, out of sight of the road. “Werewolf,” he stated, “We must investigate.” “Figures.” whined Devilah, unheard.
“It came from that cabin ahead!” Sampson whispered. “You know, we could just pass on by. That’s what normal people do. Or run.” the hero’s partner suggested. “I am Lawbringer, the hand of Justice. Evil is my foe, in any form. The maw of the werewolf shall not escape my blade!” “Okay, okay! Quiet down! How you’ve stayed alive all this time I don’t know. Well, actually I do…”
“Wait here, dear companion and I shall vanquish the evil creature!” “Be my guest! Your funeral.” As Sampson approached the door, he heard another voice within. A female voice. With Sword drawn, he crept across the threshold.
Suddenly the air was filled with a stench the likes of which he had never smelled before. It seemed to surround him and bind itself to him. “Gotcha!” cried the voice he had heard before. He whirled around, blade before him, other hand to his nose, to see a Khajiit head in the side window looking at him. “State your business or regret your life, thief!” “My pardon, but I am no thief,” he choked. “We heard a werewolf. Was that you?” “Oh, no. That’s just my husband, FarSeer. He’s such a baby. I was picking burrs out of his pelt.” Behind the head, Sampson now perceived a dark coat of fur heaving in pain.
“Ok, FarSeer. That’s enough for now. But please take the trash out. I’ve asked you twice today already.” The whimper from the dark form was just about as un-werewolfly as it could be. “Please lady, can you do anything about this stink?!” “Oh, sure. FarSeer, after you take the trash out, there’s a grocery list on the table. Would you drop into Falkreath and pick those up for me?” The answering whimper contained a note of resigned acceptance.
“That’s a good boy!” the Khajiit ruffled the huge werewolf’s fur as he shuffled past, carrying the list and heading down the path. Now, as for you Mr…“ "Sampson. I am called Sampson, Lawbringer and Hand of…” “Ok Mr. Sampson. Take off that armor and any underclothes you have on. Those will need to soak for a couple of hours.” “Naked? You ask the Son of Justice to expose himself here?!” “Oh. A shy one are you? Oh, you’re going to LOVE the ointment!” “Is it really necessary?”
“Only if you don’t want to smell like that for the rest of your life. Totally your choice. Now, you said ‘we’ earlier. You have partners?” “May I present to you my faithful companion, Devilah!” The Khajiit came up from the road, laughing heartily. “Go on Sampson. Drop those drawers. Let’s see the goods!”

Sabhira’s Daughter #52

The night passed slowly for Kitty. While it was obvious that Muz-Ra and Udaran were sleeping fitfully after their first close-encounter with an active werewolf, she wasn’t sleeping at all. Fright was not her problem. Though it was every bit as traumatic as the first time, the sight of FarSeer in his altered form was no longer a new experience. She’d already been through that days ago. The first of the morning birds had begun their annoying trill outside in the pre-dawn trees when Shabhira crept back in, as silently as possible, and reeking of love to a Khajiit nose.
Their eyes locked then when Shabhira realized that Kitty was still awake. Shabhira looked away somewhat shamefully, then with a sigh she gestured for Kitty to follow her back outside. This was bound to happen, and even Kitty had no idea how she felt about it herself. But she rose and followed Shabhira out quietly. On the porch, Ubergard had begun snoring again after Shabhira’s return so they walked farther away before they spoke. Kitty was embarrassed to find herself shaking with emotion. She’d intended to be cool about this, but her body was betraying her.
Shabhira was the first to break the silence. “So… I guess we need to talk.” Kitty nodded. “Sometimes I wish I were human. These Khajiit noses sense too much.” “I know it. Yes, FarSeer and I… well. Just yes. We did.” Kitty didn’t need the confirmation, but it helped to know where she stood. “He didn’t take long to get over me I guess!”
Shabhira knew better than to point out that Kitty had, in effect, dumped FarSeer. It didn’t matter. Instead, she remained silent. “Not as a werewolf surely?” Kitty looked at her rival. “Oh no. In fact, that was one of my discoveries tonight. The beast form has no genitalia. I suppose it wouldn’t need it. The host form provides that function.” Kitty nodded, not really caring.
“Can you forgive me, Kitty? I’d really like to remain friends if that were possible.” “I forgive you, but I’ll never be your friend. I can NOT be your enemy though. If I were thinking dispassionately, I’d be glad he found someone… compatible. I’d be happy for you too. You’re practically made for each other. But I’m not dispassionate. Right now I hate you. I hate you both. Passionately,” Kitty said, trembling visibly as she said it and hating herself for doing so. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”
“The hell you didn’t!” Kitty shouted. “THE HELL YOU DIDN’T! I’m a female too you know. You knew damn well what you were doing!” Shabhira backed down. “Ok. I did. I won’t lie and say I’m sorry it happened, because I’m not. But I am sorry to have hurt you. I wish I could have avoided that.” Kitty looked away, trying to calm her anger. Justified or not, it wouldn’t help this situation. “I’m sorry too Shabhira. You’re a good person, I know. I’m just hurting right now and you’re the only target around for me to scratch.”
Some time passed before Kitty spoke up again. “It helps to know it was you, Shabhira. Really it does. It’s like a sharp needle through my heart instead of a jagged saw. It still hurts like hell, but I know it could be a lot worse.” “Can I hug you, Kitty?” “I know you mean well, but no. Your arms have held him. It would remind me too much. But don’t worry. I’m not your friend, and never will be. But I don’t hate you. I just wish I were you. How do you stand it? The wolf form I mean? You didn’t even flinch! Dammit, you fucking plucked it’s FUR out!”
Shabhira smiled weakly. “‘His’,” she corrected. “’HIS fur out.’ You know, I’ve seen a lot. A lot of very ugly things, bad things… even dead things. It’s part of what I do. The werewolf form, it’s pretty scary. But scary is a relative thing. I’ve seen worse. When you’ve seen people you know wracked by disease… death. You learn to see beyond the form to what lies within. FarSeer was within. The form doesn’t matter.” “Sure as hell mattered to me!” “Again, it’s experience.” Kitty sighed, “Well, I guess we’d better get back. Dawn’s coming and it’s going to be a long walk tomorrow… TODAY I guess.”
“Kitty, that’s another thing…” Kitty looked back at Shabhira. “What?” “I’m not going with you.” “WHAT?” “I’m staying… with FarSeer.” “And he’s good with this?” Shabhira nodded, not looking at Kitty. “Damn, you two really DO move fast! And the gold?”
Shabhira stepped close to Kitty. “Kitty… it’s yours.” Kitty looked up uncomprehending. “I’m giving it all to you, Kitty. You gave up FarSeer because you knew you wouldn’t be happy together. Before he even met me. You risked your life to find me, and you didn’t even know my mother! You’ve gone through hell for others, Kitty. I don’t need it – you’ve given me a new life with FarSeer, and that’s worth far more than gold. Besides, we’re people of the wild. We have no use for gold.” Kitty’s eyes grew wide. “Really? You mean it?” “Yes Kitty. ALL of it.” “Damn Shabhira, you do make it hard to not be friends,” Kitty choked out. “I’m not immune to gold, I’m afraid. Oh dammit, give me that hug.”
The two hugged then and, if all wasn’t right with the world, at least it was reasonably acceptable. On the other side of the valley, a pair of eyes glittered. A distance that would have suggested only two vague shapes to anyone else, was like nothing to those eyes. The brain behind them couldn’t have been happier as it watched them walk back into the cabin. Not hand-in-hand, but close enough. Acceptable.

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