The Quest for the Holy Dildo #22

The wedding was, of course, no surprise to the residents of Whiterun. And it surprised no one much to see the procession wind it’s way through the streets of Whiterun and towards the Jarl’s palace of Dragonsreach led by the naked Argonian woman and followed by her bridesmaids in barely less revealing attire. They parted for the group effortlessly, and even the more bawdy residents withstrained their admiration for the display of the scaled and furred females to only occasional whoops and catcalls. Finally they reached the entrance to Dragonsreach itself whereupon Muz-Ra greeted the Jarl’s personal housecarl, Irileth at the door. “What’s that she’s not wearing?” Cheetah whispered to Udaran when they came in sight of Irileth at the door to the great palace of Whiterun. “I think it’s a Muz-Ra designed kilt,” Udaran whispered back, giggling somewhat.
“No beheadings today?” asked the Argonian with a smile. “None today my Lady, unless you request it!” “What do you think of the kilt?” Irileth looked down at herself, her breasts basically naked for the world to see. "A bit breezy my lady.“
"Well, you’ve got to let the puppies out to breath every once in a while! Shall we get this party started?” Irileth laughed, a strange sound to those who knew her but one Muz-Ra had heard at least once before. “Let’s!” she said and the group entered the Keep to fanfare from hidden trumpeters on the walls.
Irileth proclaimed their arrival as the group waited for a signal and Irileth proceeded towards the throne and stood to the Jarl’s right while another man dressed in preistly robes stood to his left. Though Muz-Ra hadn’t met him, she assumed this must be the priest of Mara from Riften: a man named Maramal. The fanfare began again as the friends climbed the steps and those dignitaries and friends of the Jarl bowed at their entrance. She saw H standing to one side and recognized another figure she did not expect with them as well.
“Blue!” she cried and started towards her old friend, but Blue herself shushed her and pointed back towards the Jarl. “Oh, sorry. Later!” she whispered and looked back at her future husband who only smiled and shook his head, to which she responded with a shrug that said “Sorry!”.
She felt her friends behind her step to one side as she neared the last steps up to where the Jarl waited. All eyes were now on her and the Jarl who took her hand and stood beside her. Irileth stood behind him and the giant Argonian, Ubergard, took her place slightly behind and to Muz-Ra’s right. The crowd quieted as the preist of Mara stood in front of them, holding his hands up and beginning the ritual.
“It was Mara that first gave birth to all of creation,” the priest began. Muz-Ra realized she could barely concentrate on his words however as an unaccustomed feeling of nervousness set in and she feared she might faint. She had been married before, but that was a long time ago. But then she felt the warm hand of the Jarl enclose her and she turned to look at him. No, not the Jarl – her Jarl. Her jarlyhorse. Her love. The nervousness quickly fled as she looked into his eyes, and he into hers. And then the room was hushed as the time came to say the words. With a strong voice, Muz-Ra followed her beloved’s declaration with her own… “I do. Now and forever!”
“Under the authority of Mara, the Divine of Love, I declare this couple to be wed. I present to you these matching rings, blessed by Mara’s divine grace. May they protect each of you in your new life together.” At these words, the crowd began to cheer, but Muz-Ra could hear nothing. She felt only the Jarl’s strong hands take her head in his hands and kiss her, human fashion. She tried her best to respond in kind and also gave him the traditional Argonian sign of affection – a nuzzle under his chin.
Then they turned around to face their guests, who continued to cheer and clap as the Jarl drew her beside him and she looked up to see him with what may have been a tear of his own on the otherwise gruff face.
And then all hell broke loose.

The Quest for the Holy Dildo #21

The big day had finally arrived in Whiterun. Though the Jarl had made clear to everyone his intent to keep the wedding low-key, it was all Muz-Ra could do to keep the well-wishers at bay. She had stayed with her friends the previous two nights in the room at the Bannered Mare, where they had treated her to a bachelorette party that was as bawdy as she was. Fortunately it had been a private party and the things that went on there were well kept secrets by all her friends and the employees as well as the male “entertainers” that had been hired. But that was night before last. Last night the tavern had reopened to the public and she had retired at a reasonable hour with her closest friends, Ubergard and Kitty, who were with her now as she got ready for her wedding to the Jarl.
“For a low-key wedding, you know you’re going to make a hell of an entrance!” Kitty said as she adjusted her transparent dress for the millionth time. “I know. But this is what should have happened all those months ago. Besides, the citizens sort of expect it from me now. They get to see their future queen in-the-buff one last time. I can’t deny them that!” “Who do you think you’re fooling?” Ubergard asked, looking down at herself. “You get off strolling around in public naked as the day you were hatched! Did it ever occur to you that some people have this thing called modesty?”
“Oh, please Uber,” Kitty interjected. “For the last time… shut it. Either wear it or don’t go. You volunteered for this, remember? Where’s that Warrior’s Spirit I hear you and K’rris talking about all the time?” Ubergard looked surprisingly pitiable. “But… I’m totally exposed in this! I might as well be as naked as Red.” “Hey! At least your puppies are held down and won’t bounce around and hit you in the snout!” Kitty suddenly looked up. “Wait! I have an idea. Just a second…”
She went out to the balcony and came back in with Ubergard’s massive weapon, Virgindruung. “Here. Wear this!” The giant Argonian smiled and closed her eyes at it’s comforting weight. “Better?” Kitty asked.
“Much better. Is it okay if I wear this at least Red?” “Sure! Not going to stop people from looking at your boobs though,” Muz-Ra smiled. Ubergard looked at Muz-Ra with eyes sparkling, “No, but it will sure as hell stop anyone from staring at them for too long.”
“Hey!” Muz-Ra warned. “No killing the spectators!” Kitty sat back on the bed and was joined by the other two. “So Red, how are you feeling? Nervous?” “About parading naked through the town again? Not a chance.” “No, about marrying the Jarl?” “Oh… that. Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I don’t know why I should be. I’ve been married before you know.”
“I’ve heard you say that. You don’t talk about it much though.” “Naa. It didn’t work out. It was my fault though. We still keep in touch sometimes. He’s working up around Solitude now somewhere. But he needed someone more stable than me. You may not believe it, but I was pretty wild in my youth.” “Who would have believed it?” Ubergard snorted.
A familiar voice called from below. “We’re all ready Red!” Muz-Ra looked to Kitty desperately for a second. “Don’t think about the wedding for now, Red. Just think about strutting your naked body in front of all those strangers.” The Argonian closed her eyes for a moment, then re-opened them with a large, toothy grin. “That is better! I bet some of the men will start jerking it the minute they see me!” “Sure they will! Women will be rubbing themselves against any nearby pole.”
Muz-Ra stood, puffed out her already ample chest, and headed out of the room with only the traditional Amulet of Mara for clothing. “Mustn’t keep my public waiting!” she called and confidently strode down the stairs to where the rest of her bridesmaids were waiting. Kitty noticed Bhusaran kept her traditional white boots on. “Glad you could make it Bhusaran! Can I assume H will be at Dragonsreach?” “He wouldn’t miss it for the world, Red. I hope you don’t mind the boots. They’re my security blanket.” “No problem! Well… Ladies?” she called with the confidence of a wartime General. “Let ‘em have it!”
“Cheetah? What’s wrong with Udaran? She looks a little… wobbly,” Kitty asked. Cheetah looked at her lover affectionately. “It took a little lubrication to get her into the dress. Alcoholic lubrication that is… Maybe a little too much.” “Nobody can see me!” Udaran half-whispered to Kitty, the smell of drink heavy around her. “…all looking at Red. You can’t see me can you?” “Not at all,Udie,” Kitty assured her. “You’re practically invisible.”

The Quest for the Holy Dildo #18

They found Arngeir in the meeting room seated with Einarth. At their entrance, both Greybeards rose. “Welcome back, friends,” Arngeir greeted them. “Did you meet with Paarthurnax?” “Oh yes. He flew me down to find the dildo! He’s very nice!” “He… you flew on him?!??” Einarth asked, incredulous. “Well, just me. He didn’t seem to like Sampson or Devilah much,” Faniel admitted, then looked at Devilah. “Well, not in that way.” Einarth looked at Arngeir who shrugged. “The Way of the Master is not one we should question.”
“If we might stay one more night, Arngeir, we will leave at first light,” Devilah declared. “A friend of Paarthurnax we could not deny. But I’m not sure if we should resume your ‘show’ tonight. One of our number has developed a problem.” “Oh? Not Borri?” Devilah asked, suddenly concerned. “No. He is tending to Wulfgar now. But I am afraid Wulfgar seems to… well, he has lost his sanity, and we think your ‘show’ had something to do with it. Understand, we don’t blame you, but you must understand that it is something we weren’t truly prepared for.” “Oh Arngeir! I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to cause any problems!!!” Devilah said sincerely.
“You couldn’t have known it would do this to Wulfgar. But since last night he… well, we can’t keep him from touching himself to be blunt.” “Oh God! Arngeir, can I help somehow?” “We really don’t have any experience with this sort of thing, Devilah. Your presence might send him further down the abyss his mind is in.” “Or it might not,” Faniel interjected. “Please, if we caused this thing, let us try to help!”
Arngeir looked to Einarth, who admitted, “Nothing we’ve done seems to help, Arngeir. I don’t see how it could hurt.” Arngeir nodded. “Alright. Let’s be cautious though.” They followed Arngeir down the hall to where Borri was watching over the stricken Greybeard. “He’s sleeping now,” Borri whispered. “But when he wakes up he’ll be back at himself again.” “Let me wake him,” Devilah said and she knelt gently beside the inert form.
“Wulfgar? Wulfgar, it’s Devilah,” she said, gently stroking his forehead. The old man’s eyes slid open as he looked at her feline face, his hands straying as if on their own towards his groin, but Devilah stopped them and held them. “No Wulfgar, you’ve had enough of that. Can you talk?” But his hands struggled to free themselves and he soon shook them loose and resumed his self-manipulation. Devilah looked up at Sampson and Arngeir with desperation in her eyes. “I’m sorry! I… I didn’t know this could happen!” “Devilah,” Faniel said in a tone of voice they’d not heard her use before. A tone of command. “Step away. You are not the cause of this.”
“I’m not?” “No, Devilah. I am.” Devilah stood up and let Faniel take over. “Wulfgar. Stop this,” Faniel said with that note of command still in her voice. Immediately his eyes darted to Faniel and locked there, his hands ceasing their movement. The angel knelt beside Wolfgar and touched his head at which point he relaxed and lay back, looking at her intensely. “Angel! You’re back!” Faniel sighed. “Yes. You were watching me last night, weren’t you?” Wulfgar nodded. Faniel closed her eyes for a moment, then reopened them.
“I am sorry for all this. This is my fault. Wulfgar experienced something he should not have.” “What? Experienced what?” Borri asked. “That isn’t important. It won’t happen again. He is better now.” They looked back to Wulfgar who was now sitting up. “What? What happened?” he asked to those around him. “You don’t remember?” Arngeir asked, incredulous. “Remember what?” “Arngeir, there is no need to pursue this further. He is well and I am shamed. Is not that enough?” Faniel said, not looking at him.
“It is enough. Thank you Faniel. Our members are too few to lose even one. But… perhaps it might be best to forego your show tonight Devilah?” “Of course, of course,” Devilah replied with no hesitation. “And now, Arngeir, have you a bath? It’s been a long day and we could use it,” Faniel asked. “Certainly. Follow me. It’s in a basement.” As Faniel turned to follow Arngeir, she looked back to Sampson and Devilah. “Sampson? Devilah? Are coming?” Soon all four were in a small underground room but with an oversized hot tub in the center. Arngeir pointed out, “I’m afraid there’s only one tub, though it’s a large one.” “Oh, that’ll be fine,” Sampson said, “Perhaps you might have some soap too?” “Certainly. It’s right there in that basket beside the tub. I’ll leave you in peace. And thank you again Faniel. I’m sorry we had to cancel your show though Devilah. Honestly, Borri and I were quite looking forward to it!”
“Clever,” Sampson was saying as he examined the spigot that allowed cold water from the roof to flow into the tub and the drain that led dirty water back outside while the water in the tub stayed warm from an unseen fire. “Where I came from that would have been considered crude, Sampson. They had a way to bring hot water in through something similar, as well as cold!” Devilah said as she finished washing her fur.“ "I don’t know about you two, but I feel like a new man! I wish I could take a bath like this every week!” Devilah muttered something under her breath, but Sampson didn’t catch it. “So… what did happen to Wulfgar, Faniel?”
“After you two left last night, I couldn’t help myself. I… well, you know.” “And just seeing you do that drove him crazy?” Sampson asked. “I suspect it was more than just watching me. I think he tasted angel nectar.” “Angel what?” Sampson asked, but Devilah picked up on it immediately. “And that drives men mad?” “It’s more like a powerful aphrodisiac to some men. Single men. But it was my fault. I shouldn’t have done that. But what is done is done. He has forgotten it now. Dwelling on past mistakes is never helpful. It won’t happen again.”
Briefly, Faniel looked away ashamed, but soon she recovered her normal attitude, “Now, about shaving my pussy…” Sampson looked at Faniel, “It’s not going to drive me mad is it?” “No Sampson,” she assured him. “You’re in love. As long as you don’t lick me, you should be fine.” “Oh! Well, thank heaven for that! And… you really don’t mind Dev?” “Sampson, when will you learn? – I’m really not capable of feeling jealous over sex like that. The only thing I’m jealous of is that she wants you to do it instead of me!”

Krris #3

“I’ll try anything! What’s your plan?” “First, I want to change your living arrangements. I want you to sleep with me. Just for a few days.”
“Sleep with you?!” “Not physically you horny Khajiit! Just stay with me. And we’re going to burn those magazines.” Krris nodded assent. “I thought that would be part of it.”
“Now Krris, in an ideal case, I’d have you sleep with Ubergard. But that’s not going to work here. She has about as much knowledge of the opposite sex as you. I’m the next best thing you’ve got. We need to get you to transfer your attentions to me. However, we will not have sex, Krris. You will do what you need to do, but there will be no physical contact between us. I do not want to have to explain this to the Jarl!”
“I suppose, if you think that will work. It’s very kind of you to do this for me Red. You won’t find me… disgusting?” “What, me? Krris, I live for penis! You should know that. It’ll be tougher for me than for you, believe me. But I’m committed to the Jarl and I won’t risk that. No, there will be nothing physical between us – but visually we’ll try and switch you to appreciating my fine Argonian form. I promise you, Krris, I won’t be disgusted. I’ll be enchanted.”
“You don’t think, maybe, I’ll just switch my obsession to you instead?” “I’m telling you, Krris, you’re not obsessed. Well, not in the normal way. Your body has just become accustomed to a single set of images to react to. I’ll give you more.” Muz-Ra’s mouth curved upwards as she added, “a lot more.” Krris stood up. “Thank you Red. I hope you’re right. Let’s do it!”
Muz-Ra stood and ran her hand over his crotch. “Hey! I though you said no…” “You’ve got clothes on, my young warrior. And I never said this wouldn’t be fun! I intend to do all I can do for you because you’re my friend, but I never said I wouldn’t take some pleasure in it myself. Consider this your down payment on my services.”
Krris gulped hard, no longer confident he’d made the right decision confiding in Muz-Ra. Reading his thoughts, she relented from her groping. “Oh relax, Krris. I promise I won’t rape you.” His features swiftly changed from surprise at her touch to return to self-pity. “That’s the problem, Muz-Ra. I don’t think you could.” “You think not? Have faith, Krris, and give me some time. I’m really pretty good with men. You might say it’s my specialty.”
The two walked back to the castle, detailing the change of their living arrangements and what they would and wouldn’t tell to the others. If Muz-Ra seemed to be walking a little closer than was usual, and if she occasionally brushed into him a little accidentally, surely that was only due to her clumsiness, Krris thought. He barely noticed, except maybe for that one time his hand drifted across her behind, holding her there unconsciously as he felt the muscles bunch and relax under her scales as she climbed up the hill. He pulled it away as soon as he became aware of it. Muz-Ra didn’t seem to notice anything fortunately. While Muz-Ra fully intended to uphold her promise of privacy, she insisted that Ubergard be told at least the rudiments of their plan, if only to prevent Uber from misconstruing things if she found out otherwise. As for the others, officially Krris would be staying with Muz-Ra for added security while the Jarl was gone.
So after dinner that night, she took the giantess aside. “Hi, Uber. Can you come over here a minute? Please, sit. We need to talk.” “What is it, Red?” “It’s about Krris, Uber. He really likes you, you know.” The Argonian sighed. “You think so? I’m not so sure. I don’t feel any passion from him. Sometimes I think he’s just hanging out with me to keep me from feeling bad. I think I should break it off. He’s too valuable to lose to my imagination of a romance that’s not there. It’s getting kind of awkward.”
“You’re wrong, Ubergard. He does ;like you romantically. But he knows it’s getting awkward, and he doesn’t like it either. Uber, he talked to me privately this morning.” “It’s Udaran isn’t it. I know he’s still in love with her.” “He is not in love with her, Ubergard! Really he’s not. What he has for her is something else. It’s like a mental sickness. But it’s one I think I can cure.” “Really? Are you serious? How?!”

CatDance #18

As the three approached the bridge, Kitty found herself becoming unreasonably reluctant. The nearby waterfall with it’s growing roar certainly didn’t help and she angled to be near the center as she grew close. Communication at less than a shout became impossible, when she felt Mikael’s arm around her. She looked up at him and he smiled, obviously trying to calm her. Meanwhile, Helfer had raced ahead and was even now peering down into the roiling waters below excitedly. While the drop really wasn’t all that far, the churning of the river below after the waterfall just a few yards away, and the sharp, unyielding rocks that may lay below the surface were the real dangers. Yet Helfer seemed to have no fear at all and was happily waving to Ubergard to share the view as she leaned over the side to watch the rushing water below.
After what seemed like hours to Kitty, Mikael had helped her across and beyond the bridge just far enough to talk again. “Bothered you eh?” Mikael asked. “You think?” she laughed sarcastically and a bit nervously. “But thanks. I appreciate you staying close.” “It’s no bother.” They sat down and waited until Helfer and Ubergard finally stopped their sightseeing and came walking back to them. Even now Helfer was turning back occasionally as if to appreciate the bridge from a different angle with an expression of awe and amusement on her face.
“Never have I seen such as this! Kitty, does it not delight?” “Delight? Not me, I’m afraid Helfer. In fact it frightens me a little. I get a bit nervous around things like that,” she admitted. “Still, it isn’t something I’ll soon forget, that’s for sure!” Ubergard turned back to Mikael, “How far to Solitude from here?” “No more than an hour or two. We’ll be there in plenty of time before sundown.” Ubergard nodded. “Any reason to stop in the village here before we move on then?” Kitty shook her head when the Argonian turned to her. “Not me, we can get far better food in the city, I’m sure. Which reminds me… Mikael?” Mikael looked at her as they continued on past the village, “Yes?”
“Where will we stay tonight? Are there rooms at the college?” “Oh no, not the kind you’d like to stay in. They have rooms for students, but those are usually occupied and very small, and there’s no telling how many would be available now. Better to stay at the inn.” Kitty nodded agreement. “In fact, we’ll just hang out at the inn tonight. It will give me a chance to catch up on the local gossip too. It’s always good to know what has been going on since I was here last. In fact, I was wondering if maybe you might be interested in giving a performance tonight?”
“Do… Do you think they’ll like it in Solitude? I mean, Whiterun is one thing, but Solitude is pretty… I don’t know… metropolitan?” “That’s why I think you`should. If the locals like it at the inn, that will go a long way towards winning the College over to my proposal. If they don’t… well, better to know ahead of time anyway.” Kitty nodded. “Makes sense. But I’d best not wear this outfit for the dancing. I’ll need a nice bath. I’ve got a couple other outfits anyway. You remember that one I wore the other night right?” “The one that tempted me to lift the ‘flaps’? How could I forget?” “Hey! I do wear underwear you know!”
Mikael grinned at the little Khajiit. “But that’s the whole attraction, don’t you see? We don’t know if you do or not! One more twirl at just a little faster speed and we might find out!” Kitty returned his lascivious expression with one of her own. “Well, of course! That’s what it’s meant to do. But I have bad news for you. It’s designed so that you’ll never quite find out for certain.”
At that, Helfer dropped back to talk to Kitty. “Helfer knows dancing! Does Kitty dance?” “Oh, in my own way. Mikael seems to like it though. Would you like to dance with me Helfer?” The Khajiit’s eyes fairly sparkled in their eagerness that made her reply superfluous. “Well, I’d love to have you dance with me Helfer. But… we should see if our styles are compatible.” To that Mikael nodded agreement. “Perhaps Helfer and Kitty could practice in our room in private?” Helfer suggested. “That’s a good idea. Mikael will have the final word, since this is his project though. If he doesn’t agree, you’ll be OK with that right?”
Helfer nodded. “Helfer understands. If Mikael does not think our ‘styles’ are graceful together, you will dance without Helfer.” “Exactly.” “But… Helfer does not want Ubergard to see her practice.” “No?” “No. Ubergard should see Helfer at her best only.” “Helfer…” Kitty began, but at the look from her fellow Khajiit she decided that it really wasn’t her place to try and dissuade her from her obsession with the giantess. “Oh, never mind Helfer.”
After they’d walked for a while more, Helfer again dropped back to talk to Kitty privately. “Helfer was thinking, Kitty. Must Helfer wear clothes when dancing?” Kitty sighed, “Well, yes! I’m afraid so Helfer. Are clothes not worn when dancing where you are from?” Helfer shook her head. “Only in provocative dances where we remove them slowly. You do not remove the clothes when dancing?” “No. We keep them on,” Kitty smiled. “They’re kinda mandatory here. Why?” Helfer looked down at herself. “This Helfer’s only clothes.”
Kitty looked at her friend critically, then shook her head. “No… those won’t do.” The look that Helfer turned to her spoke clearly of her disappointment. “Oh, don’t worry! I have a spare outfit, and we’re pretty close in size.” Helfer hefted Kitty’s breast, adding, “Not here. Helfer is not so big here.” “Well, let’s try it anyway. This outfit does odd things with my boobs. I don’t think there’s that much difference. And even if there is, there are… modifications we can use to make you fit.” At that, Helfer brightened up significantly. “Thank you Kitty. Kitty is a very good person. Helfer will remember that.” Up ahead Ubergard announced. “We’re here. Welcome to Solitude!”

Queen Muz-Ra #4

“Just one thing, Irileth. You understand Red is under my protection. Should anything uninvited happen, you and I shall dance.” “It would bring me great pleasure to dance with you, Ubergard. But that will not happen. He’s not that sort of man. If he were, I wouldn’t work for him.” Ubergard shrugged. “I’ll tell her when she gets back.” The Dunmer nodded in acknowledgement and went back up the stairs.
“Whew! You have more stamina than I expected Red!” said Cheetah, flopping back down on the bench, exhausted. “Oh, stamina I have! I may not have the muscles of Ubergard, but I do exercise often and for a long time. Though the muscles I train most aren’t obvious.” “I used to do that sort of training too, but now that I’m with Udaran, it seems kind of pointless. I’m afraid I have let myself go in that department.”
“Oh? I’d be interested to know what exercise techniques you used! I guess in your former line of work that would have been helpful.” “Absolutely. Some people think you just lay back and let him do all the work. I guess maybe some do, but not at the Cathouse. We took pride in turning the act into an art form, and we girls were certainly active participants! We even held contests sometimes during the off hours, of which I am proud to admit I won quite a few!”
“Contests? Like?” “Oh, all sorts of things. Most Flexible. Most Accommodating. Least Gag Reflex. We even had a weight lifting contest once a month.” “Weight lifting? Now that must have been interesting!” “Oh yes! That’s where I got the inspiration for my exercise routine. First, you tie a string around a…”
“Excuse me, Cheetah,” interrupted Ubergard, sensing the conversation was not going to end anytime soon. “Oh, sorry Ubergard,” Cheetah apologized. “If you don’t mind, I need to talk to Red alone for a minute.” Muz-Ra looked at the giant Argonian. “Me? Now?” “Please. It’s rather important.” Muz-Ra shrugged. “Well, ok. Cheetah, we’ll pick this conversation up again when I get back.”
When they had stepped away a short distance, Ubergard spoke to her friend in Jel so as to be unintelligible to anyone in the tavern… “Someone wants to meet you Red. Up in the private room.” “Really? Who is it?” “Irileth just came from there and told me.”
Muz-Ra looked at Ubergard, confused. “Irileth? Isn’t she the Housecarl of Dragonsreach?” “The same.” “She wants to meet me?” “Not her.”
Muz-Ra’s eyes grew large as saucers. “The Jarl? He’s here?” she said, looking up to the balcony. “Yes. And he wants to meet you. I’m given to understand he is interested in you.” “Well,” Muz-Ra looked back at her friend, “and why not? I was a model you know!” Ubergard nodded, conceding the point.
Muz-Ra smiled at the sudden reintroduction of romance to her life. “Well, I mustn’t keep him waiting! Give my apologies to Cheetah and Kitty. I’ll be back later.” “Red… Be careful. Politics is not your strong suit.” “Politics? What has this got to do with Politics? This is Biology!”
As she turned to go, she hesitated. Still speaking in Jel, she asked Ubergard, “Say, he’s kind of old. Do you think his heart is up to the challenge?” “From what I know of him, I don’t think you need to worry about that too much. He’s old, but he’s still a warrior-king.” “A warrior-king eh? I wonder what warrior-kings fuck like?”
And with that, the golden-clad Argonian fairly skipped towards the stairs. Ubergard returned to her bench, shaking her head. “This,” she thought, “is going to be a disaster.”

Sabhira’s Daughter #45

Ubergard was snoring loudly when Ashasha came in to wake the travelers in the morning. “Rise and shine girls! It’s a new day and full of possibilities. Breakfast is waiting for you and Shabhira will be here in an hour.”
“Early? It’s halfway to noon! Oh, you’d have a hard time of it here Kitty. Most of the girls have already eaten and are about their chores.” she smiled. “Chores? Last night’s work wasn’t enough?” “That? That’s just Work. But this place doesn’t run itself and we don’t make enough to hire maids.”
“You’re surprisingly upbeat this morning Ashasha!” Udaran noticed from behind Kitty. “Well, I have a right to be. We made good money last night and it turns out S’uzi’s tail is just sprained. She’ll be back on her back in a week.” “Oh, that’s good to hear,” Kitty said, having worked out the odd phrasing. “…I guess.”
“Yes! Shabhira took a look at her last night before she left.” “And you don’t mind Shabhira coming with us anymore?” Udaran asked.
“Of course I do! But we worked out a deal. No matter what happens, she’ll drop by once a month and help J’ara get up to speed to take her place.” “Well that sounds wonderful. Has she given any indication of her own plans… after?” “I don’t think she has a clue herself yet.”
After breakfast, the group had gathered outside the Cathouse when Shabhira came up the hill. “Whoa! Shabhira, you look different today? Your traveling clothes?” asked Udaran. “What? Oh, the gown. I’m sorry, I should have said something. Last night I was meeting with some people in Markarth when Ashasha sent for me. I don’t normally dress like that.” “I see. So, are you ready to go?” “Absolutely! Eager in fact!”
Meanwhile, Kitty and her new friend Cheetah were saying their goodbyes. “Could you do me a favor Kitty?” “Anything Cheetah! What can I do?” “Well, when you get back, can you ask H to stop by here next time he’s recruiting. I think I’m interested.”
“Oh? You don’t like it here?” “It’s not bad. Really it’s not. Ashasha is a good boss to have. And it may be wrong, but I DO love the work SO much! But it seems so… out of the way here. It’s like Markarth is at the edge of everything. Nothing ever happens here, and everything happens in Whiterun. Plus I got K’riss to let me look at a copy of the Tails he has. Very erotic!” “You like it?”
“Once I managed to peel the pages apart, yeah! I think I’d like to do that!” K’riss looked away, somewhat embarrassed.

Sabhira’s Daughter #31

“So… your brother the werewolf? I must say he is a fine specimen though!” Muz-Ra said jokingly to Ubergard, but she did not respond. Though she wore the same tough expression she had adopted since she first saw FarSeer, Kitty wondered if perhaps she detected some other emotion in the giantess. Certainly the Argonian seemed to be lost in her own thoughts anyway. “I don’t think she wants to talk about him Red,” Kitty suggested. “They sure seem to grow large in Uber’s family though. Do you suppose the same holds true for his manhood?” Muz-Ra speculated. “I don’t think ANYONE wants to talk about that Red!” Udaran said.
“Ok, come on up girls,” said FarSeer from within the now-lit cabin. "I told you it wasn’t much. I’m cooking some food out front. It should be ready in an hour or so. And before you say anything Ubergard, it’s venison.“ "Saving the good stuff for yourself?” Ubergard shot him a nasty look. FarSeer sighed and turned to the others. "Can I get you anything to drink? I’ve some mead and some spiced wine.
“That was just excellent FarSeer. Maybe a bit light in the vegetable department, but you do know your way around a slab of meat!” Muz-Ra thanked the big Argonian, smacking her lips and began to chisel out some fragments from between her teeth with a small stick she’d found for the purpose. Kitty could swear she heard from Udaran under her breath, “As do you.” “Thank you Red. Now, as for other accommodations, I’m afraid I have little in the way of a lavatory here. There’s a bucket of water in the corner for washing, and for any other needs there’s a hole about a hundred feet directly behind the cabin. Just watch your step. I’ve erected a band of rocks around it for privacy so you can’t miss it.” “From what I’ve seen of male urinals recently, I’ll bet YOU can,” Muz-Ra quipped with a chuckle.
“I’ve put down some mats for bedding but they’re not much I’m afraid.” “Oh, I was going to mention, FarSeer. I hope you don’t mind, but I sleep in the nude. Not to be provacative mind you, and to be clear, I’m not interested in males anyway, but it’s just how I sleep. Is that going to be ok?” Udaran asked without a trace of embarrassment. “Sure Udaran. I can’t say I wouldn’t enjoy the view, but don’t worry. In fact, I spend my nights nude too you might say!” “Oh REALLY?” Muz-Ra perked up, suddenly interested. “Oh yes. Though you might find my appearance somewhat altered. I don’t sleep, but I do get cranky!” FarSeer explained with a smile.
“OH! So you spend your nights as a wolf?” Udaran asked. “Werewolf. It’s not the same form at all. In fact, I often wonder how that connection was ever made. But again, don’t worry. My consciousness is fully intact. I don’t hurt anyone. Years ago the body change did affect my mind and I couldn’t say that – but time and experience work wonders. I’m as much myself in werewolf form as I am now. I just can’t talk, but I can think. Sleep, however… it’s not that I can’t sleep. It just does me no good, so I no longer even try,” FarSeer went on.
“So, what do you do all night?” Kitty asked, genuinely curious. “Oh, mostly just run, hunt and kill. You’ll notice I have no weapons. Don’t need em. That venison you ate, I took that down just last night.” “You’ve got yourself quite a place here, FarSeer. A nice life. But doesn’t it get lonely?" FarSeer let out a sigh. "Yes, it does. To be honest, you’re the first people I’ve had here in months. But when you choose to follow my path, you have to anticipate solitude. Mostly I wouldn’t have it any other way. But, I’m a social creature too and once in a while it get’s a bit much. Which is why I really appreciate you girls visiting me.”
Ubergard seemed about to say something, but thought better of it. Instead, she confessed, “I will admit you’ve built a nice life here FarSeer. Though I disagree with your life choices, you’ve done well with it. Better than any of us in the family expected. When next I see them, I’ll let them know.” Kitty noticed that FarSeer seemed to listen to his sister’s few words as if they were words from a god. Perhaps it was a trick of the light that made his eyes shine a little brighter. But he remained silent for some time before he asked Ubergard if she would mind walking with him for a bit. Kitty was not that suprised when the giantess agreed and the two walked out into the night, though Kitty certainly noticed that Ubergard didn’t forget to bring her huge axe along too.
While they were out, the three remaining travellers prepared their beds. Though the mat that Kitty lay upon was certainly firm, it was surely better than sleeping on rocks and roots. Udaran stripped out of her clothes and settled in as Muz-Ra returned from a trip behind the house. “How was it?” Kitty asked, knowing that she would find out herself in the morning regardless. “Oh, smelly as you’d expect. But he’s put up an acceptable seat. He even sanded and varnished it – no spliters in the butt there. I’d not want to try it in the rain though.”
At that, footsteps were heard entering through the door and Ubergard and FarSeer’s forms were seen in the doorway. “Good night girls. I’ll see you in the morning.” “Good night FarSeer,” Ubergard grudgingly responded. "Don’t kill anyone we know.“ "Thanks,” FarSeer said sarcastically. "Oh, and Udaran?“ "Yes?” “Nice!” he smiled, and left the cabin. Kitty heard a snort of disgust mixed with amusement from Udaran, “He wishes!”
Kitty then snuggled up, happily against Udaran, and fell into a contented and undisturbed sleep. Somewhere in her sleeping mind though, she did notice that there was no snoring from Ubergard all night long.

Sabhira’s Daughter #3


“Red! Red, wake up! It’s important!” whispered Blue early in the morning the next day. “Huh? Oh… Hi Blue. What’s up?” asked Muz-Ra groggily. “I found something Red. Something big,” fretted Blue, barely able to keep her voice down. “Grmph… What time is it?” mumbled Kitty from her bed. Turning back towards Kitty, Blue replied, “Oh, about 7 in the morning, Kitty.” “7 in the morning? NOTHING important ever happens at 7 in the morning!” declared Kitty as she lay back down.
“Oh wake up you sleepyheads and listen! I was out early this morning, picking some herbs outside the valley,” whispered Blue excitedly. “At 7 in the morning? What, do you never sleep?” asked Muz-Ra incredulously. “Actually, not much, but that’s not important. What IS important is that I was looking for these herbs that I use in my tea and I noticed something behind some rocks… something sparkly. Turned out it was metal. It was the bands of a chest that had been hidden.” said Blue. “And? Did you open it?” asked Muz-Ra, coming to attention now. “Yes… Red, Kitty… it’s full of gold!” whispered Blue.
“GOLD?” exclaimed Kitty, suddenly taking an interest. “Yes. I think it’s Dahleena’s stash,” Blue replied. “Really? She DID say she had some gold hidden around somewhere outside,” stated Muz-Ra, “How much Blue?” “It’s almost full Red. It’s a LOT of gold! Red, I don’t know what to do.” “Well, first don’t tell us any more. Right now you’re the only one who knows where it is, and we should keep it that way till we decide what to do,” Muz-Ra suggested.
“We HAVE to tell H don’t we?” asked Kitty. “That’s the proper thing to do, yes. What do you think Blue? It IS your find. In Skyrim, posession is 9/10ths of ownership. 10/10ths really. You can just keep it you know,” said Muz-Ra. “I don’t WANT it Red. That kind of thing is just trouble. Especially in that amount. As soon as someone knew I had it, I’d be in constant danger. I’m happy here Red. I don’t want anything to mess up my life here,” Blue responded, somewhat worried. “Then we need to talk to H and Bhusaran. Kitty, you’re the only other person that knows about this right now. You OK with that?” “Well, dammit, I’d love to be rich honestly. But I guess Blue has a point. Let’s see what H and Bhusaran have to say. They’ve always been straight with us before.” “Ok – but till we talk to them, don’t say anything to ANYONE,” stated Muz-Ra.
“You sure you don’t want to just keep it Blue? If it’s too much, I’m SURE me and Red could help you out there!” asked Kitty hopefully. “NO Kitty. You haven’t been here long enough to understand. It’s dangerous to have that much gold in one place!” stated Blue, flatly rejecting the idea.
“She’s right Kitty. There are people around here that would slit your throat for a fraction of gold of that amount. Not IN the Chateau mind you, but word gets around,” observed Muz-Ra. “Well… ok,” Kitty responded, “Just checking.”
“Um. Kitty, we’re going to go find H. You wearing that?” asked Muz-Ra. “Huh? Oh. I guess not. Give me a second to change.” Kitty replied. “Ok, but lets…” started Blue.
“Done!” interrupted Kitty. “How DO you do that?” asked Muz-Ra, incredulously. “What I want to know is how she gets into that at all, without a zipper!” added Blue. “Well it’s a CATsuit you know. It’s a kind of magic. You wouldn’t understand. It’s a cat thing,” Kitty answered mysteriously.

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