The Quest for the Holy Dildo #21

The big day had finally arrived in Whiterun. Though the Jarl had made clear to everyone his intent to keep the wedding low-key, it was all Muz-Ra could do to keep the well-wishers at bay. She had stayed with her friends the previous two nights in the room at the Bannered Mare, where they had treated her to a bachelorette party that was as bawdy as she was. Fortunately it had been a private party and the things that went on there were well kept secrets by all her friends and the employees as well as the male “entertainers” that had been hired. But that was night before last. Last night the tavern had reopened to the public and she had retired at a reasonable hour with her closest friends, Ubergard and Kitty, who were with her now as she got ready for her wedding to the Jarl.
“For a low-key wedding, you know you’re going to make a hell of an entrance!” Kitty said as she adjusted her transparent dress for the millionth time. “I know. But this is what should have happened all those months ago. Besides, the citizens sort of expect it from me now. They get to see their future queen in-the-buff one last time. I can’t deny them that!” “Who do you think you’re fooling?” Ubergard asked, looking down at herself. “You get off strolling around in public naked as the day you were hatched! Did it ever occur to you that some people have this thing called modesty?”
“Oh, please Uber,” Kitty interjected. “For the last time… shut it. Either wear it or don’t go. You volunteered for this, remember? Where’s that Warrior’s Spirit I hear you and K’rris talking about all the time?” Ubergard looked surprisingly pitiable. “But… I’m totally exposed in this! I might as well be as naked as Red.” “Hey! At least your puppies are held down and won’t bounce around and hit you in the snout!” Kitty suddenly looked up. “Wait! I have an idea. Just a second…”
She went out to the balcony and came back in with Ubergard’s massive weapon, Virgindruung. “Here. Wear this!” The giant Argonian smiled and closed her eyes at it’s comforting weight. “Better?” Kitty asked.
“Much better. Is it okay if I wear this at least Red?” “Sure! Not going to stop people from looking at your boobs though,” Muz-Ra smiled. Ubergard looked at Muz-Ra with eyes sparkling, “No, but it will sure as hell stop anyone from staring at them for too long.”
“Hey!” Muz-Ra warned. “No killing the spectators!” Kitty sat back on the bed and was joined by the other two. “So Red, how are you feeling? Nervous?” “About parading naked through the town again? Not a chance.” “No, about marrying the Jarl?” “Oh… that. Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I don’t know why I should be. I’ve been married before you know.”
“I’ve heard you say that. You don’t talk about it much though.” “Naa. It didn’t work out. It was my fault though. We still keep in touch sometimes. He’s working up around Solitude now somewhere. But he needed someone more stable than me. You may not believe it, but I was pretty wild in my youth.” “Who would have believed it?” Ubergard snorted.
A familiar voice called from below. “We’re all ready Red!” Muz-Ra looked to Kitty desperately for a second. “Don’t think about the wedding for now, Red. Just think about strutting your naked body in front of all those strangers.” The Argonian closed her eyes for a moment, then re-opened them with a large, toothy grin. “That is better! I bet some of the men will start jerking it the minute they see me!” “Sure they will! Women will be rubbing themselves against any nearby pole.”
Muz-Ra stood, puffed out her already ample chest, and headed out of the room with only the traditional Amulet of Mara for clothing. “Mustn’t keep my public waiting!” she called and confidently strode down the stairs to where the rest of her bridesmaids were waiting. Kitty noticed Bhusaran kept her traditional white boots on. “Glad you could make it Bhusaran! Can I assume H will be at Dragonsreach?” “He wouldn’t miss it for the world, Red. I hope you don’t mind the boots. They’re my security blanket.” “No problem! Well… Ladies?” she called with the confidence of a wartime General. “Let ‘em have it!”
“Cheetah? What’s wrong with Udaran? She looks a little… wobbly,” Kitty asked. Cheetah looked at her lover affectionately. “It took a little lubrication to get her into the dress. Alcoholic lubrication that is… Maybe a little too much.” “Nobody can see me!” Udaran half-whispered to Kitty, the smell of drink heavy around her. “…all looking at Red. You can’t see me can you?” “Not at all,Udie,” Kitty assured her. “You’re practically invisible.”

The Quest for the Holy Dildo #13

Meanwhile, in another room, Devilah was talking to Borri after having just finished a snack. “Quite a collection of Tails you have stashed under there! You like both Argonians and Khajiits then I presume?” “Oh, yes. I’m afraid it’s a fetish of mine. It’s part of what drove me to being a Greybeard in the first place. My particular taste wasn’t very well thought of where I’m from. Honestly you’re the first Khajiit… well…” “It’s okay. If you met a true Khajiit, you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between us easily. But I do thank you for not touching me physically. I’m… trying to do better myself. Sampson is doing his best to let me be me, but I know it hurts him somewhere inside. It’s nice to be able to help you out with just… well. Modelling shall we call it?” “Devilah, I speak nothing but the truth when I tell you that was the most incredible 10 minutes of my life!” The Succubus smiled back, licking her lips. “Let’s just say it was my pleasure and leave it at that.”
“Now that I can talk to you without being constantly distracted, how can I help you?” Borri said while dressing. “Well, I want to talk to you about self control actually. I can’t live without male ejaculate Borri. But, like we just did, I think I could learn to control my need to touch other men. Just between the two of us, it was all I could do to keep from stuffing you down my throat or up my ass when you were hard.” “But you didn’t, did you?” “No… I knew you didn’t need it to get off. Mostly I just tried not to look at it and concentrate on posing for you.” “Well, even among us ‘normal’ people, it’s not an easy thing to do. But up here we reduce the temptations too. That helps a lot.” “I don’t see how I can do that,” Devilah sighed, sitting beside the Greybeard. “I can barely look at a man without wanting him inside me some way or another.”
“Oh, I understand. Even with my fetish, I can’t help but be tempted just by a pair of boobs, even if they’re all covered up. I find myself imagining what they look like behind the cloth, what they feel like… what they taste like. Up here, that’s not an issue though.” “That’s it exactly! But as long as I can remember, I never even thought of not acting on that desire.” “And males, being what we are, never try to stop you I’m sure. Looking like you do, I doubt your advances get rejected often.” “Well, even if they tried to, I have this ability to… make it even harder to resist. And I’d use it without a thought. I’ve never been rejected, Borri. Never. Except by Sampson, but he was a special case.” “What you need is some way to get what you need without ever having to look at a penis.” “Or testicles. Those are just as bad for me. Hell even a male ass makes me want to…”
“Okay, okay. I get it. But what we did here… you managed not to touch me, even though you could have. Besides thoughts of Sampson, was there anything else than helped you resist? Odd, it feels so strange to think you had to resist me. I assume I wasn’t in some way… repellent to you?” “Oh no Borri! If it weren’t for Sampson, I’d have loved to have you in me! We Succubi… It’s pretty tough for us to acheive orgasm, but we can. I’m sure I would have with you. Let me think… Maybe… Yeah, probably because I knew I’d be getting it soon. I knew you couldn’t last long and that I’d soon have your ejaculate to drink.” “So, your desire is rooted in your need to drink our… stuff?” “Well, drink or otherwise absorb. I take it in externally too for that matter. What can I say? We’re kinda weird.” “No, no… I understand. I read about your kind quite a bit. Well, Succubi in general anyway. My books never mentioned one in Khajiit form. So, you can definitly resist the physical tempatation so long as you have a supply of male semen. But, you get that from Sampson surely.” “I do, but I need more. I don’t know why, but I need it from more than just one man. That’s the heart of my problem. Quantity isn’t so important. But variety is.”
“Wait! I have an idea!” Borri said, standing up suddenly. “What is it? I think I could excercise the self control I need, if only I could get it some other way.” “Now look, this might sound disgusting. But… what if we Greybeards kept our ‘stuff’ and sent it to you?” Devilah considered this a minute. “Borri, it’s not disgusting to me. I know it probably would be for you, but you must realize that to me it’s like the finest wine. It’s what I crave. My deepest fantasy revolves around soaking in a tub full of it while men continue rotating through and keeping the tub full while I wallow in it. But how could that work?” “Well, it’s cold up here you know. We could keep it stored frozen. Then, maybe every week or so, we could send it to you. Do you think that would do? Then you would get your needs filled but would never need to look at any penis but Sampson’s.”
“I… yes… I think that might work! Just one catch…” “What’s that?” “I… don’t think the magic works unless you’re getting off to me. And I couldn’t be here. I’ve never had the experience of drinking it from anyone who didn’t produce it for me, but I have this feeling that it’s kind of necessary for the men to be directing their lust at me. Still, it’s worth a try! And I know how to find out.” “How?” “While we’re up visiting the peak tomorrow, ask one of the others to masturbate something other than me. Not even a thought of me.” Suddenly both looked at his stack of Tails.
“A better idea!” she said, realizing the solution to her last problem was right in front of her. "I need to get a magazine made of me!“ Borri was right with her. "Better get a few copies. And we men… we’re awfully fickle. Last month’s erotic pussy-shot just doesn’t do it for us this month. You’ll need to make more occasionally.” “I even know someone who used to work there. Okay! I’ll get the publisher to do a special edition just for you guys. And I’ll show everything. Maybe even get Sampson in on the action and show him fucking the hell out of me. That’ll get you guys off!” “Um… Devilah… that publisher doesn’t even do full nudes. He’s probably not going to be too keen on doing a full pornographic magazine.” Devilah laughed. “H? Leave him to me. He’s male. I’ll have no problem with him. He’ll probably want to be the photographer. ” She began to pace the floor, thinking. “You think the other Greybeards would do it? I’m not sure if they’re as into the Khajiit form as you are, but if I could get regular donations from all of you, I’d be set!”
“You may not believe it, but we don’t exactly discuss such topics among ourselves. I’ve no idea who else likes Khajiits around here. Until today, I had no idea anyone else even masturbated. I thought I was the only one!” “Well, I’m going to go for it anyway. I owe you for this! Wait… how will I pay you for the donations?” “Pay us? Devilah, you’re asking us to jack off to your picture and you want to pay us?” “Good point. Isn’t nature wonderful? Thank you so much Borri!” Devilah said, giving the Greybeard a fierce hug. “Now I’ve got to go tell Sampson. Oh! I’d better finish getting my clothes back on.”
But as they started down the hall to where Sampson and Faniel were waiting, they found the others coming her way already. “Sampson! Borri and I have the most wonderful idea!” “Oh? Arngeir, Faniel and I came up with an idea too, though I don’t know if you’ll like it or not…”
The three travelers were laughing together, which undoubtedly disturbed the Greybeards after their days of sedentary life and silences. “What?” asked Faniel. “My knees are together!” “Oh, nevermind Faniel. I’m too happy to care! Borri even found containers for it. He’s going to keep them separated too. Oh, isn’t it wonderful Sampson?” Sampson was truly happy. “It’s absolutely disgusting, Devilah. But also wonderful in a very perverse way. What do you think Faniel?” “If it works and keeps you two together, I’m all for it. But you know, even if H is up for producing a magazine for you Devilah, it’s going to be some time before it can get published, get delivered up here, and get the results sent back to you – and we don’t even know where you’ll be.” “I don’t care,” Devilah laughed. “I’ll have my own delivery service!” “Devilah’s Special Milk! Now with 10% more Borri!” Sampson sputtered.
“Hey, don’t make fun of him. Besides, he tastes great!” “EWWWWW!” “You started it!” “Well, I may think it’s disgusting, but I’ll get over that. If I can have you all to myself someday soon!” Suddenly Devilah’s ears twitched. “I just got another idea. Sampson, I don’t know if you’re going to like it, but it means I can be yours exclusively even sooner.” “Try me.” “I can put on a show for them. Hand them some containers and have them watch the show. I’ll have a supply before we even come down the mountain.”
“You’re talking about a guy that had his Succubus lover take two guards last night. You think I’d mind you putting on a show for them? Hell, I’ll watch!” “Um… no. You won’t.” “Hmmm?” “You’ll be in the show.” “You… want me to make love to you with a bunch of old Greybeards watching?” Devilah looked at Sampson. “Yes Sampson. Yes I do. Believe me, they will not even see you. Every time you pump that dick of yours into me, they’ll be imagining it’s theirs. When I lick your balls, theirs will be tightening in sympathy. Sampson, there’s only so much I can do by myself. And I need them to give me all they’ve got. One shot isn’t going to do it. But when they see you fucking my brains out, that image will stay in their heads for weeks! Sampson… I need you to do this for me. Please.”
Sampson relented. “When are you thinking of putting on this show?” “Shows,” Devilah said, emphasizing the plural and knowing full well he was going to do it now. “I want to do one tonight and another when we come back from the peak. I can get at least another couple out of them all that way.” “You know, you’re turning these old men into your personal dairy farm, right?” Devilah looked innocently at Sampson. “No one’s forcing them to! But I bet I get a sellout crowd.” “This is gonna be tough, Dev. I don’t even know if I can get it up with a bunch of old men whacking off behind me!” “I’ll help. I still have some power over such things,” she said, unfurling her hidden wings as a reminder. “I’ll make you forget they’re even there.”

The Quest for the Holy Dildo #9

“Take your clothes off K’rris and try this on. We need to get it fitted,” Ubergard asked her lover. “A kilt? You want me to wear a kilt at your wedding!?” K’rris looked at Muz-Ra incredulously. “Well sure! K’rris, I’m going to be stark naked. I don’t see what you have to complain about.” “Well first of all, I have a tail you know! My ass will be on view for the whole world to see. Not to mention my balls.” “But… they’re very nice balls K’rris!” Ubergard said, trying to be reassuring. “Besides, silly cat, we’ve got tails too you know. We’ve cut a hole for your tail,” Muz-Ra said.
“B..But… What about when I sit down?” “Oh, now you’re just being petulant. Sit carefully!” The male Khajiit looked to his giantess lover for support, but got only a lewd smile in return. “Hey, have you seen the outfits she wants us to wear?” “Yeah, but… you’re used to that sort of thing… kinda. Aren’t you? From doing those Tails photo shoots?” “Well, yeah. But, you’re naked now…” “That’s different. You’ve both seen me naked before.” “K’rris,” Ubergard put on her stern face. “You’re going to wear a kilt and that’s all I want to hear about it. After all Red’s done for us, I insist.” He looked to Muz-Ra, who only nodded.
“I’ll wear the damned thing,” K’rris finally relented. “That’s right, you will. Now, put it on so we can see how it fits.” K’rris wriggled into the kilt, keeping his tail as flat against his legs as he could. A problem soon became obvious, though, and it was not his tail. “Is this a joke Red? Do you really want me walking around your wedding with my schlong poking out?!” K’rris asked sincerely. “I hadn’t thought… but now that you mention it…” Muz-Ra mused for a moment. “OH! I see!” Ubergard said with a nod. “It’s on backwards. That’s the tail hole. Turn it around.“
Soon they had the problem resolved, though K’rris was still complaining of the lack of underwear, which the two Argonians ignored completely. "Hmm… What do you think, Red?” Ubergard asked while appraising the look of her lover in the unusual garb. “I need to see it in the light. Come outside K’rris. Let’s see it in the sun.” The three walked outside to the balcony, K’rris keeping the kilt in place with his hands against any stray gusts of wind.
The two walked around him, examining and tugging bits of the cloth. “The color looks fine.” “Don’t you think, maybe, it could be a little longer?” K’rris asked hopefully. “Actually, I was thinking a little shorter. What do you think Red?” “Well, it would be great if his balls were peeking out just a little bit.” “WHAT?!”
Muz-Ra smiled. “Yeah, and a bit of ass cheek in the back.” “Nonono!” K’rris complained. “Nevermind! The length is fine!” “I don’t suppose we could go back to having that cock-hole?” Ubergard spoke up for K’rris this time. “Red, you’ve got him in a dress with no underwear. I think that’s probably as far as we should go.” “Oh, alright. Okay, you can take it off now K’rris. Just give me a second to give it a little alteration.”
After the alteration was made, they had him put it back on again. “Wait,” Muz-Ra said, puzzled as her and Ubergard threaded K’rris’ tail through the kilt. “Hmmm…” Ubergard said. “It looked fine there before. Where’d the extra drape go?” Muz-Ra turned to the front of the kilt. “Ah HA! He’s got an erection!” “Sorry.” “Damn but it’s tough to fit males! What should we do about that? Should we fit it to his boner, or assume he’ll be flaccid?”
K’rris spoke up then. “If you girls are going to wear those transparent outfits and Red’s going to be naked, I’m probably going to be hard more than not!” Both girls nodded. “Ubergard, I need him to maintain that if I’m going to drape this properly. "No problem there Red,” Ubergard said as she removed her armor. “Is that as hard as you get K’rris?” Muz-Ra asked as she held a bit of his outfit.
“I think so…” K’rris stammered, eyes glued to Ubergard’s butt. “You want him at full staff? Hold on a second,” Ubergard answered, ignoring K’rris and bending over farther as if touching her toes. “There,” she said, wiggling her ass in K’rris’ face. “Now he’ll be at his max.” “Got it!” Muz-Ra said proudly, pinching a bit of cloth to keep it marked. “Okay, thanks K’rris. I think this will do.”
“So, we good here? Because I’d really like to spend a little quality time with Uber right now!” “Oh, sure! Take it off and you and Uber can go at it like rabbits.” Muz-Ra took the kilt from K’rris and sat down on a bench with a needle and thread. “Um… Red?” Ubergard asked sweetly as her lover proceeded to voraciously bury his face between her legs, heedless of anything else now. “Mmm?” “A little privacy please?”
“Oh, sure. Ubergard, when you’re done here, do you mind coming by Dragons Reach? We need to work on the Jarl’s kilt too.” “Sure! Be right there. This won’t take long. Just wait for me at the door.” “Hey! How do you know? Isn’t that up to me how long it will take?!” K’rris asked, looking up wetly. “In theory, sure K’rris! In practice… Ubergard? Do you remember that thing I told you about?” Ubergard smiled evilly. “Completely,” she said, stroking K’rris’ cheek with her tail. “I’ll be down in 10 minutes.”
Muz-Ra left and and K’rris looked at the big Argonian as she lay her head back down against the cool stone. “‘Thing’? What ‘Thing’?” “You’ll see…” she smiled, closing her eyes as she felt him enter her. … Ubergard and K’rris met Muz-Ra at the door in less than 5 minutes, K’rris walking a bit unsteadily but with an awkward grin on his face.“ "Worked did it?” Muz-Ra laughed. “Like magic. Didn’t it K’rris?” “M… magic!” Ubergard bent down to nuzzle the little Khajiit. “Don’t worry K’rris. I’ll be back soon.” “And… you’ll ask her?” K’rris whispered, obviously embarrassed.

The Quest for the Holy Dildo #6

The tavern was sparsely populated, but all heads did a double-take when Faniel entered. The Angel laughed loudly. “Well, hello to all of you too! Yes, I have wings.”

“And nice tits too!” said one inebriated patron.

“Oh yes! And check out this pussy!” Faniel laughed back.

“Looks like she’s smuggling a hamster.” said another.

“Looks like a tribble is giving her oral!” said the first.

“Oh!”, Faniel laughed alongside them. “You mean my pubic hair? Would you like it better shaved?”

“Yeah! Butter-smooth pussy is the best! Like a baby’s bottom.”

Sampson looked at Devilah, “What’s a tribble?“ to which she only shrugged.

"I’ll go get us a room,” Devilah said to Sampson. “You handle this!”

Sampson decided he’d better put a stop to anything before someone got the wrong ideas. “Guys, she’s new around here. And she’s off limits. Unless you want to follow the Orc I just beheaded. Just enjoy the show.”

Faniel frowned. "Pffft. You’re no fun Sampson. Stop worrying about me. Now I’m going to go talk to this man who clearly has good taste in the female form!“

"Watch yourself Faniel. They’re drunk.”

“In Vino Veritas,” quoted the Angel, to which Sampson just scratched his head.

Despite Sampson’s warning, Faniel walked up to the man and asked if he’d like to dance. The grin that spread across his face showed pure joy and he lept out of his seat, spilling his mug.

“And you, I presume, play music?” Faniel asked a lady sitting nearby with a lute on her lap. “Would you mind doing so for me and this gentleman?”

“I would be honored. I am Lynly Star-Sung. And you are?”

“Please call me Faniel. And now, good sir, could you show my friend how to treat a lady? Dance with me, if you would!”

Sampson and Devilah went to the bar and ordered some drinks, though Sampson noticed that Devilah did little more than touch the mug to her lips as they watched the pair in fascination.

The man, named Klimmek, stared into Faniel’s eyes as if in a trance, while she laughed and danced with him like she was dancing with the most graceful man on earth. It seemed her wings bore not the slightest hindrance for them, and even though he was apparently just some local farmer, somehow he was able to match her in grace as long as he kept looking into her eyes. Even the bard seemed to rise to the occasion and her voice was no longer that of a lowly bard in a backwater village, but transformed into something more.

Sampson looked at Devilah whose eyes were shining as they turned back to him. "Care to dance?“ he found himself asking.

"I… think I would!” she whispered, and the two joined the Angel and the farmer.

As the last note died away, not a word was spoken as the two pairs of dancers separated. Faniel broke the spell. “Thank you Klimmek.You dance wonderfully!”

The stunned farmer looked down at his shoddy clothes and back to the Angel with tears in his eyes, but could only stammer, “Thank you, m’lady… er… Lady Faniel. I was just kidding about the… hair.”

Faniel kissed him as he sat back down. “I doubt that very much, but thank you for the lie.”

The three travelers retired to a table while the bard started up another tune.

“What the hell was that, Faniel?” Sampson asked her when she sat down.

“Oh, just livening up the poor guy’s life a bit.”

“Magic?” asked Devilah.

“Oh no. He’s always had it in him. He just needed someone to bring it out. A great dancer don’t you think?”

“I wish I could… please him like you do men, Devilah. He deserves it.”

“You can’t do that?” Devilah asked.

“I can. But it would be cruel. I never want to be that cruel. I just want to bring joy, but I can’t stay with him forever as he’d like. So no, it wouldn’t be right.”

“That reminds me,” Sampson said, turning to Devilah. “Dev, you may meet those guards later.”

“The ones on the bridge? Why?”

“I… suggested you might like another snack.”

“Oh Sampson! Are you serious?!”

“Well… yes. Did I do something wrong?”

Devilah gave him a kiss that he would never forget for it’s warmth and passion. He was a bit surprised that her raspy tongue could still feel so good inside his own mouth.

“Devilah! Jeeze, I just told them…” Sampson managed once she’d released him enough to talk.

“I love you Sampson. I think they’ll have to be a dessert, not an appetizer. I want you, stud, and I want you RIGHT NOW! Let’s go to our room!”

Sampson laughed and picked Devilah up bodily and carried her off to be ravished out of sight, if not totally out of earshot.

The Quest for the Holy Dildo #5

“Wait! Hold on big guy!” cried the leader, wisely dropping his weapon to the ground and dropping to his knees. The other man was running like a rabbit and Sampson decided not to pursue him, turning back to the man before him. “You want to live?” Sampson asked, not a hint of sarcasm in his voice.
Some time later, Sampson was wearing some much nicer leather armor but trying to console Faniel. “You know, you didn’t have to do that Sampson,” Faniel sobbed. “No? You’d rather have been raped?” Faniel shook her head, her eyes flashing anger and sadness simultaneously. “I can’t be raped. He couldn’t touch me if he wanted to.” “Oh, he wanted to all right. Why? Do you have some special power I don’t know about?” asked Sampson. “I am protected by my Faith. Everything that happens is by my Creator’s design. He wouldn’t allow anything like that to happen to me.”
Look, faith is one thing, Faniel, but this is Skyrim. Maybe me killing that Orc was how your Creator was to protect you.“ Faniel considered that. Finally, she lightened up. "Well, that’s certainly true I guess. Everything happens as he wills it. But that doesn’t mean it’s the only way.” Sampson sighed. “Maybe you’re right, but it’s the only way I know to deal with that sort. Come on, Dev’s gotta be done pretty soon. Let’s head towards the bridge.”
The two began to stroll slowly down the road, each thinking their own thoughts. Faniel broke the silence while the afternoon sun began to sink lower. “Sampson? Do you think it was right to take their stuff? Doesn’t that just make us bandits?” Sampson frowned. He wasn’t used to thinking this much. “They were going to rob us. Surely it’s only fair.” Faniel considered that. “Still, you’re taking property at the point of a sword. We probably should have just let them go.” “Maybe where you come from, that might make sense. Here, it doesn’t.” “May I see that knife-thing?” Faniel asked. “I guess you’re right. I don’t really know this world well enough.” “The dagger? Do you know how to use it?” the man asked the angel as he handed her the blade he’d taken from the bandit.
“I… think I do. Not that I’ve ever held such things before but I find it attractive. I feel like I know how.” “More Angel magic?” “Silly man, there’s no magic. Only the lord’s will. But yes, I guess it’s magic of a sort,” Faniel smiled, hefting the dagger in her hands. “You can have it. I’m not much good with small weapons anyway.” “Hmm… can you also give me that… belt thing?” “Sure!”
Soon the Angel had the bandit’s bandolier across her chest. “So? How do I look?” “Umm…” stammered Sampson.
“You look awesome Faniel! Well, looks like somebody’s been busy!” Devilah laughed as she returned. “We met some friends,” Sampson said, hugging his lover happily. Faniel answered her quizzical look with a sad one of her own. “Bandits. Three of them. Sampson took care of it though. He had to kill one.” Devilah looked worriedly at Sampson, but he reassured her, “You should know better than to worry about me Dev.”
“And how did your snack go?” “Sampson, we both know you don’t want to know. But he was pretty poor honestly. I think I have enough for a night’s stay and some dinner.” Sampson smiled and tossed her a pouch. “Will this help?” “Whoa!” Devilah said as she caught the bag. “Nice! Looks like you two did better than me! This should do for quite a while. Mind if I hold it Sampson?” “Not at all. Come on, let’s get on to Ivarstead.”
The three strode towards the town, eliciting the stares of the locals as night began to fall. Unexpectedly, it seemed that Faniel’s wings caused more of a stir than her lack of clothing. A pair of guards came up to them as they were crossing the bridge into the town proper. “What brings you to Ivarstead, stranger?” one of them said to Sampson, but it was Devilah that responded. “We’re climbing the mountain tomorrow. We’re just here to stay the night.” “No trouble then?” “No trouble intended. Though some of your local bandits found out differently back there a few miles.”
“Bandits? What did they look like?” “A Nord, and Imperial and an Orc I’m told. My friend here had to take the head of the Orc.” The two guards looked at each other. “Osbard’s band. Good job if you killed that Orc. Mean son-of-a-bitch.” “You know them?” “Just from travelers’ tales. They stay out of town. Maybe Osbard will go elsewhere if you killed off his muscle. Tell Wilhelm at the Inn. I expect he’ll spot you a room.”
“I will. Thanks,” Devilah said. “Where’s the Inn?” “Just there, on the left. No trouble, right?” “No trouble,” Devilah assured him and they continued on. “Hey…” the other guard said in a low voice to Sampson as he passed. “Sampson’s the name. What is it?” “Just… nice companions you got there! But the bird’s going to need some clothes. It gets damned cold up the mountain.”
“Thanks. But I suspect she won’t need them anyway.” Then Sampson looked back at his lover as her tail swished back and forth as she walked on. “Afraid the Angel’s off limits, but… how do you feel about tails?” “That gorgeous cat? Man, I’d…” Sampson smiled menacingly. “Shut it. But if you drop by the Inn later, talk to her. Just tell her I sent her a snack.”
“A snack? Look Sampson, I’m not out to get into any trouble!” the guard said, a worried tone in his voice. “Oh, no trouble at all. Bring your friend if he’s into fur. Trust me, you’ll thank me later.” The guard looked to his companion who nodded vigorously. “You sure?” “I’m sure. She rather likes men in uniform.”

The Quest for the Holy Dildo #4

“So, have you thought about who will be your maid-of-honor?” Cheetah asked. “I have. But honestly I’m scared I will offend you guys. That’s why I really wanted to come here. I want all of you there to be my bridesmaids of course.” Kitty spoke up then, “Red, there’s no way some of us won’t feel a little pissed. But this is your day. We’ll get over it.”
“Well, Cheetah, you know I’ve known you the least, so I don’t think you’ll be offended if I don’t choose you. But Udaran and Ubergard, I’ve known you both for so long you’re like sisters to me. And Kitty, you’ve been the best friend, not to mention the most generous, I could ever have too! It has to be one of you three. I’ve thought about this for a long time, and even though it might be awkward… Ubergard, I’d like you to be my maid-of-honor.” “ Me?” Ubergard said as the others cheered for her. “ME?” she repeated. “Why me?” “Ubergard, you’ve been like a rock for all of us. Always there when we needed you, never complaining. It was knowing what K’rris could offer you in happiness that really made me want to help, even if I did screw that up a bit.” “Muz-Ra,” the Argonian stammered. “I… don’t know what to say. Thank you!”
“Oh, about that… what do you have in mind for us to wear? We’ve not got much time if you’re really going to get married on Saturday!” Kitty asked. “I’ve got it all worked out with the Jarl’s seamstress. The Jarl and I talked about this and… um… what do you think about wearing something see-through?” “Sexy bridesmaids? For a wedding?!” Kitty asked. “Well… yeah! What can I say? It turns out the Jarl is almost as much of a pervert as I am!” “HOW see-through?” asked Udaran warily. “Well… very… yeah…” “Oh, what the hell,” Udaran conceded, “If it’s what you want. What will you be wearing?”
“Nothing.” “Nothing?” “Nothing. After my horse-ride through town, it’s practically expected.” K’rris looked worried. “I almost hate to ask but… the groom and I?”
“Oh, we have something special in mind. Don’t worry, you’ll be covered. Sort of.” K’rris leaned back against Ubergard and sighed, “I guess I’d better wear some snug underwear anyway or I’ll be standing out like a tent pole!” Muz-Ra smiled evilly – “Now you get the idea! Jarlyhorse gets to look at all us girls’ boobs, I get to see all the erections. A Win-Win!” Udaran laughed and turned to Cheetah, “Win, Win, WIN!”
Meanwhile, far away to the southeast… “Well, what have we here?” came a voice from behind Faniel and Sampson unexpectedly. Sampson leapt to his feet, his sword flashing out as two large men and an Orc stepped into view on three sides, obviously bandits. “Oh, put that away,” threatened one of the men, obviously the leader. “You might hurt yourself. You’re clearly no warrior, you’ve not even any armor! Why don’t you just lend us your wench for a little bit?” “Wench?” Sampson looked at Faniel, who could only shrug.
“Sure. We’ll just break her in for you. Well, her and any gold you might have, of course. That sword looks nice too.” the leader continued. “Wings? Croaker, she has wings !” said third bandit, having gained a clearer view of Faniel. “An Angel!” the Osimer laughed crudely. “I’ve never fucked an Angel before! Let me fuck her first boss!”
“No way!” laughed the third man. “She’ll be loose as an Imperial whore!” Sampson stepped in front of his friend. “No one’s fucking anyone here today.” “Oh! And who’s going to stop me? You, little man?” the Orc scowled, drawing his battleaxe. Sampson swung around to face the Orc.
“Wait! Sampson, STOP!” Faniel cried as Sampson and the Orc sized each other up. “You stay out of this,” Sampson said over his shoulder. “ NO! You don’t have to fight him Sampson! He can’t touch me.” But before she could say anything more, the two were in battle.
The orc came charging at Sampson in a rage, his axe cutting a vicious arc that only the stoutest of shields could have withstood. Sampson was clad only in the rags he had pilfered from their cabin the night before and had no hope of stopping it. Instead, he crouched low. The orc smiled and angled his blade downward, too low to duck.
Faniel screamed as the blade completed it’s arc, but Sampson had leaped well over the blade. The orc was surprised to feel no body to stop his weapon. A few seconds later, he was more surprised to see his body continuing in it’s rush without him. As the realization dawned that he no longer was attached to the body he was watching as he fell rolling into the ground, he rather wished he hadn’t seen the Angel in the first place, and hoped that maybe he’d see a lot more very, very soon.
Faniel screamed for Sampson to stop, looking in horror at the lifeless body in front of her, but he was beyond the Orc and upon the leader of the small group of bandits before the Orc’s head stopped rolling.

The Quest for the Holy Dildo #3

Muz-Ra was waiting in the Jarl’s chambers when finally his entourage disbanded and he came in to see her. At that he broke into a wide grin and enfolded her in his strong embrace, but her expression and stiffness soon revealed to him that all was not well. “Red? What is it? What’s happened?” “My billy goat gruff, do you still want to marry me?” she asked outright. His face turned serious. “You know I do. Nothing would make me happier, Red.” Her expression became somewhat lighter. “I hope that’s true Jarlyhorse. I have to tell you something, and you may not feel the same afterwards.” The Jarl of Whiterun gave her a firm kiss on her snout for reassurance, and she returned the show of affection with a chin nuzzle before they both sat on the massive bed and she began to tell him about what had happened between her and K’rris.
When she finished, he sat looking at her for a long while. Muz-Ra stood, unable to face the shame she felt under his gaze. “I… I’m staying at the Tails. If you want me, you can find me there.” “Red, you know we had no formal commitment to each other. This… dalliance of yours is of no consequence to me. No, it’s not that which troubles me. It’s the fact that you feel so guilty about it that is worrisome. As much as I’ve been looking forward to coming home to you, perhaps we should spend some time apart to sort out our feelings.” The Argonian nodded and left the room quietly but obviously choking back emotions..
The ever-present Irileth stepped in as she left. “Trouble with Muz-Ra?” “None at all. She had an affair of sorts and feels guilty about it. I’ve sent her away as a sort of punishment.” Irileth’s eyebrows raised, “May I assume that no mention was made of you and that Breton girl in Solitude?” “Of course not. That was totally different!” “Oh? If I may be so bold, how so?” “Because I don’t feel guilty about it. She does. That makes a world of difference.”
“Excuse me for not understanding, but you sound like a pig. I know you have your… peculiarities, but I didn’t think I was working for a pig.” The Jarl sighed and motioned for Irileth to sit while he closed the doors. “And I didn’t know you were the type to jump to conclusions so easily. She feels guilty because she still feels an attachment to her ‘other’. If it were truly just a fling, it would be a trifle. But she feels guilt. And with guilt must come punishment. She will never feel fully reformed without some punishment. I want her back the way she was, not always feeling she doesn’t deserve me. So I sent her away for some time.” “How long?” “Oh, I’d say just a day should do. I miss her too. Breton or no!” “A day? That’s not exactly banishment! And why are you smiling?” “No, it’s not. But right now she doesn’t know that. In the meantime, we need to start preparations as soon as possible!” the Jarl laughed, his face oddly full of joy. “Preparations for what?” Irileth asked confused. “A wedding! Your Jarl’s going to get married to that Argonian woman, and if I have my way, within the week!”
“A royal wedding?! Within a week???” “Keep it small Irileth. It’s not like it’s my first marriage. Just her group and those who really must attend.” “Does SHE know about this?!” “Who? Muz-Ra? She has no clue. But once I ‘forgive’ her she’ll be more than ready. She practically said as much. Now start the preparations, but keep them quiet till tomorrow night.” Irileth gave him her customary aggrieved sigh and stalked out of the room. “I don’t know how you do it, but you’re probably right. But I wonder if you realize just how much of a smug prick you are right now.” The Jarl just smiled… smugly. “Oh, and Irileth?” “Yes?” “I’ll tell her all about the Breton, I promise. She just needs to stew a little bit first.”
Two days later… “WHAT?” “It’s just what I said,” Udaran insisted, brandishing the gold envelope. “We are requested to attend the wedding of Jarl Balgruuf and Muz-Ra this Saturday!” “Wow! I guess Red really got things turned around quickly!” Kitty exclaimed. “Wait… there’s more. Ubergard?” Udaran said, turning to the giant Argonian. “You’d better tell K’rris. He’s to be the best man.”
Ubergard found K’rris just taking his morning bath, which she joined as she explained the news Udaran had received in the morning’s mail. “Me?” K’rris said. “Are you sure? He doesn’t even know me.” “Apparently he does now. I think I know why too.” “Well, why then?” “He knows about you and Muz-Ra. I think this is his way of getting the whole thing out of the way.” “He’s quite magnanimous I’d say.”
“Look, K’rris, don’t expect him to suddenly become your best buddy. This is a statement. He’s saying he knows. That’s all. He knows and he wants to marry Red anyway. This is a statement of his love for Red, not you.” “Oh… Well, that’s still a good thing though, right?” “I think so. At least he’s not coming to lop off your head!” “What about Red? Is Kitty going to be her maid of honor?” “See, that’s the other thing. She’s coming here to talk with us about it. This afternoon. She wants you with us. I’m sure we’ll all be in the big pool later anyway.” K’rris sighed. “Another naked girl-fest? I don’t know if I can take much more of this! I think I’m up more than I’m down.” “You were warned when you signed up for this job!”
“…he was a goddamned bastard about it too! Didn’t tell me till the next day, making me stew for a day. And then, before I even have a chance to get mad back at him, BOOM! He want’s to get married! Now how am I supposed to work up a proper anger at that? Damned that Jarlmeister, he’s a tricky one!” “Aren’t you jealous?” “What, of a BRETON woman? Please. I could get the Jarl off with my left foot! She practically had to do backflips to get him off. And besides, I got a blast of hot cat-jizz to boot! Oh… sorry Uber.” Ubergard laughed, “No offense taken! Cat-jizz is the best!” “Would you two please stop talking about it like I’m not here?!” K’rris protested. Udaran held up a reminding finger. “Sorry K’rris – but you’re supposed to be just one of the girls around here, remember?”
“It would be a lot easier to pretend that were so if you didn’t keep talking about my… stuff.” Red stood up and gave K’rris a strong hug. “Sorry K’rris. And sorry about me getting all emotional back then. Now that the Jarl’s back, I really feel I’m over that for good.” K’rris looked at her sincerely, “I am glad too Red.” Ubergard held his rather prominent erection, “So, can we assume that’s directed not only at Udaran now?” K’rris looked down, perhaps a little embarrassed, but not nearly so much as he had been in the past. “I’m afraid it’s become omni-species. I get a boner from all of you now.” Udaran posed seductively in front of the lone male. “But just remember, I was your first crush!”

The Quest for the Holy Dildo #1

“He returns tomorrow,” said the Argonian, obviously worried. “What are you going to do?” asked Kitty as she climbed down into the hot tub. When Muz-Ra had left Castle Kitty, of course she had to tell Kitty about her affair with Krris. It took little time for Udaran to wheedle it out out of Kitty too, and of course that meant Cheetah soon knew as well. In fact, it seemed the only person who didn’t know why Muz-Ra moved out was Krris himself – oblivious as always. The three Khajiits were now visiting Muz-Ra at Tails of the Khajiit’s home base in Paradise Valley and basking in the warm water of the outdoor hot tub.
Muz-Ra sighed deeply. “I have no choice really. If I’m going to marry the old coot, I won’t do so without him knowing everything.” “He very well may reject you, you know,” Udaran pointed out. “I know. But that’s his decision to make. I only know I can’t go through with it without being honest with him. He deserves better. He should know the slut he’s marrying.”
“Oh Red, lighten up. It’s not like you to be like that. You weren’t married you know. But the real question is, do you love him?” “I do! I don’t know how I can be in love with two people at once, Kitty, but I really do. Plus I am his Consort. Like a Fiancee really, just one with no anticipated date.” “And he loves you? Really loves you?” asked Cheetah while stroking her lover idly under the water. “I think so. At least, he did,” Muz-Ra said gloomily.
“Well then, he’ll get over it. Eventually anyway. How much are you going to tell him though?” “Everything. I have to. As old as I am, I’ve never been married. This is probably going to be for life. I won’t do that without telling him everything.” “Good luck Red. You’re a good woman,” said Udaran. “I’m a slut.” “Hey! Us sluts can find happiness too you know,” Cheetah pointed out. “Look at me!”
Meanwhile, far away from there, an ex-angel, a hero, and a succubus in the form of a khajiit were making plans… “Are you sure you won’t wear some clothes at least? We’re going to have a hard time with the locals if you don’t put something on. They’ll say you have no modesty,” the human warrior said to the ex-angel. “I will not. This body was given to my by my lord. I will not cover something so beautiful with filthy cloth. It’s not pride, you understand, it’s reverence for what was given me! I am not this body, and this body is not me. But it would be a sin to cover it.”
Sampson looked at Devilah with a grin, “It’s hard to argue with that.” Devilah had never had even a twinge of jealousy in her life before. As an abstract concept, she understood it well enough and knew it existed, but the peculiar nature of a Succubus simply was incapable of feeling the emotion. Where another might have responded negatively, Devilah simply recognized the fact that Faniel’s body was indeed beautiful and could only agree wholeheartedly. “Well, there’s one good thing anyway,” she said. “No one will be too upset at my clothes. But as for my… needs. Are you sure you’re okay with it Sampson?” “I’ve set my mind to it. You are mine, Devilah. As long as your heart is with me, your body can be with others as is needed. But please, I do hope not to have to see it.”
“You are my love, Sampson. I will be discreet,” said the Succubus, looking directly into Sampson’s eyes. “And I will reserve part of myself for you alone, because I recognize that is important to you. To live, I must accept the male gift, but only you can have my female gift. It is all I can promise, but that I do promise!“ said the Succubus, in what was somewhat stilted language but which she hoped would convey her conviction. "Well,” Faniel said happily. “That’s almost a marriage vow! You two may just manage this yet. If it is within my power, I will try to aid you if ever I am returned to my rightful place and can prevail upon the powers there. But tell me more about this Simulacrum, Devilah.”
“We call it a dildo. It’s shaped roughly like a large black penis. About a foot in length, though I used to have the power to change it’s size.” “As a mortal Succubus, your powers are diminished Devilah, but they are not all gone. Your creator did not leave you powerless in such a hostile world. But what is it’s purpose? Why did you carry such a thing?” “It’s for… well. When you’re alone and you need some stimulation. You can imagine it is your lover. And…”
“Yes?” “It vibrates. If the battery is still charged anyway. It’s hard to explain, but it feels very very good.” “Interesting. A vibrating penis simulacrum,” she said, but then glanced at Sampson. “But surely a penis doesn’t vibrate? Does it?“ "No,” Sampson said, blushing. “To my everlasting regret, it does not. Now let’s get underway,“ Sampson declared, gathering his weapon. "Faniel, you say you can sense it. Can you be our guide to find it?”
Faniel shook her head sadly. “It’s too vague. There’s too much between me and the Essence. If the way were clear, I might be able to figure it out but it’s too far away.” “Well, we’ve got to go some direction. Any ideas?” “I have an idea,” Devilah replied. “What about that mountain we passed? What did you call it?” Sampson nodded. “Good idea. It’s called The Throat of the World.” “What is that?” “A very BIG mountain,” explained Devilah. “From there you can see nearly all of Skyrim with no obstructions.”
“Oh! That sounds like a great idea! Yes, let’s go to the Throat of the World! Do you know how to get there?” “I don’t even know where we are. But if we keep going the same direction, we should come across a road eventually. We can figure it out from there.”

Tails and Anal sex – TotK

Tails and Anal Sex – 10 Things you Must Know

by staff writer (Chuck M)

It’s the ultimate ‘forbidden fruit’. For some of you, the mere mention of it may cause a physical gag reflex. This article is not for you. Your reaction is understandable. Anal sex is simply not a natural act. On the other hand, some might say that intimate relations with a Khajiit at all by any other race is also not a natural act either. So, as in many topics, your opinions may vary.

No, this article is for those readers who are curious, or perhaps are active in this undeniably kinky form of love-making. For those, it is the nature of the act itself that provides it’s biggest attraction. And this attraction does not extend only to the male members of our readership either we point out. Plus those receiving are often just as enamored with it as those giving. But there are some things that should be understood before engaging in what is still considered a crime in some parts of Tamriel. And, while most apply regardless of race or gender, some have particular value when the object of your attraction is one of our tailed races.

So let’s get started with our list of 10 things you MUST KNOW about Anal Sex and your Khajiit lover.

#1 – No Prostate.

This applies to all female races of course, but this article will assume your lover is a female Khajiit specifically. The prostate is a sexual gland in males that lies within the lower abdomen and provides much of the seminal fluid in a man’s ejaculate. Since it is part of the reproductive apparatus of males, it should come as no surprise that it isn’t present in females. However, some males find stimulation of it to be pleasurable. That stimulation is typically done via manipulation through the anus since the prostate lies nearby.

Even in males, stimulation of the prostate is not always pleasurable. So much more for females since they don’t have one! That does not mean that females may not find anal stimulation enjoyable, but it does mean that this is not the primary cause, and thus it is reasonable to assume that fewer females do enjoy it. So while you may enjoy your own tail pipe to be ravaged by her strap-on, don’t assume the same is true for her! It should go without saying that she should be consulted first and her wishes obeyed to the letter. (Must we remind you of those adventurers we keep on retainer again?)

#2 – Cleanliness.

There’s no reason to obfuscate the fact that anal sex is a dirty business. But there are things you and your partner can do to improve that. A sterile douche is a recommended prerequisite to consummating your adventure. However, don’t go down to the stream and get a bucket of river water and pour it up your partner’s ass! While the water found in running streams may be fine for drinking, your body is built to handle the impurities found there when ingested normally. However, the rear end is not. Instead, boil that water (AND LET IT COOL!) beforehand. Then and only then should you pour it up your partner’s ass. Then she can release it (in an appropriate place of course), effectively cleaning the anal cavity at least somewhat.

For some (and you know who you are you perverts!) this may be just as pleasurable as actual anal sex, so always be on the lookout for ways to make it most enjoyable for your partner.

#3 – The Tail.

Ah yes, the part you’ve been waiting for. Our Khajiit lovers are built with the most beautiful appendage of all – the furry tail. (Readers of the Tails of the Argonian may disagree, but they can get their own Anal Sex pointers.) However, it’s important to ALWAYS remember that this is an extension of the backbone. As such, it lies perilously close to the sphincter. While other tailless races don’t have this obstacle, our lovers do and it is our duty to understand and respect their physical differences. It is simply a very rare Khajiit that actually enjoys anal sex. An informal poll of our girls here at the Tails shows only 3 (of about 20) have ever engaged in it. Of those three, 2 enjoyed it, and the other reports she did it for her lover and it “wasn’t too bad.”

So, even if you dream of ravaging your kitty’s hindquarters, most likely you will find that she either isn’t interested or will do it just for you on rare occasions. You must accept this. Sometimes your fantasies just shouldn’t be realized. Typically you can still share them with her using some manual stimulation even if you can’t stuff your cock up her bum. Obviously fingers are much smaller and more subtle (except in very rare cases!). If you’re among the very lucky few whose lover either enjoys or accepts you in this way, do NOT attempt to perform this from the so-called ‘doggy style’ position. In the heat of your passion you may hurt her seriously due to the tail. Best to keep her on top so she can maintain control in whatever orientation she prefers. Also, unless she has specifically requested it, do not tug on her tail. Our ladies report that it’s nearly always a turn-off. (However, as with most things, there are variants.)

#4 – Lubrication.

This simply can’t be repeated often enough. Do not go in dry. You will hurt your kitty and it won’t feel good anyway.

Those adventurers of ours have very special methods of dispensing justice for anyone who hurts our Khajiits in this way. It involves an unusually long spike. More of a pole actually. Those who have had this form of justice administered have never yet mentioned that they found the experience pleasurable even though it certainly stimulated their prostate.

As for the lube itself, any sterile oil should suffice. Some readers have reported good success with leaving Dragon’s Breath mead to boil down till it is reduced to the consistency of pudding.

Application should be applied both to your erect member and to your lover’s tail-hole. There is no such thing as too much lube in this case. If she’s really into it, you might even want to inject her with some extra beforehand. (Note – do not use the same tube used during the douching process!)

#5 – Oral-Anal stimulation.

If you and your partner are comfortable with this act, it is best done after the douche and before the lubrication. Obviously cleanliness is the key to making this a pleasurable experience, and remember that the anus is not a vagina. No matter how pleasurable it may be for her, it will not self-lubricate (no matter what your other ‘sources’ may indicate). However, in our experience, even if she doesn’t allow full on anal sex, this taboo act can get her purring like no other! Another thing to be aware of while you’re ‘down there’. Did you know the base of the tail is an extremely errogenous zone for your Khajiit? It’s true. So, if you’re going down there orally anyway, why not make the trip the rest of the way to the Tail Base One? You (and she!) will be glad you did.

#6 – Once Inside.

Okay, you’ve followed all the advice, your kitty likes (or at least accepted) your back-door advances, you’ve completed all the preliminaries, and at last you’re inside your lover’s poop chute.

Might as well revel in it, you’re in the shit now. Just remember, you wanted to be here! Your path should be well lubed and you’ve managed to get past that muscular gateway. It should come as no surprise that the key is go slow! Her rectum simply isn’t built for you to slam away at it. You really don’t want to hurt her here. She took you up her ass – that fact alone should be enough to get you off. You should not need to pound her into Oblivion or break her tailbone now. This is enough. Slow strokes and be ever-alert for any hints of pain from her. She loves you and she’s doing this for you. Respect that and get the hell out if there’s any sign she’s not comfortable.

Granted that at best right now she feels like she’s taking a dump that keeps coming back. Fortunately there are (rare) Khajiit women that like that feeling, but odds are you haven’t got one.

Enjoy her with care and don’t be dejected if she asks you to take it out before you’ve come. Remember, she’s not built for that. You’ve already achieved a sexual adventure that most can only dream of. If, on the other hand, she’s so into it that she let’s you finish inside, try and keep control as much as possible. You’re instincts are going to push you to slam it home. You should be able to ‘home’ it, but no slamming allowed! Congratulations, you are the 1%! Be sure to write to us!

#7 – Exit Strategy.

Whether you’ve been asked to back out, or if you’ve managed to complete the act in her most personal of orifices, you’re still not done. Except in the most rare of cases (unknown to us at the Tails but we must assume it’s possible), she hasn’t come yet. If you had to leave early, you’re in luck! The normal path still lays open to you. If not, time to get your tongue limbered up.

But if you are planning to resume activities in the womb room, clean it up first. Okay, if you’ve followed this advice, it’s not bad. But it’s still worth a trip to the sink first. Also, use soap or oil on it to clean it well. Ask her to help, she may be more than willing! Then you can get back to the task at hand. She just let you inside her tail hole stud! Whether or not you came there, she deserves some compensation. Be the best you can be. If she wants your tongue to explore her slowly, do that. If she wants you to bang her pussy like a punching bag with your man meat, get to work Rocky. She deserves whatever she wants now and it’s your job to give it to her. If possible, don’t let her go before you make her come. This is the key to future encounters with her. Make her remember it with pleasure.

#8 – What to do if you hurt her.

Run. Run and never look back. Never touch a Khajiit woman again and don’t show your face in Skyrim again. You may survive this yet! While we pay our enforcement people large amounts of money to carry out justice against anyone who harms a female Khajiit (bandits excepted), they rarely go beyond the borders of Skyrim. Though they have been known to do so. It seems they particularly enjoy carrying out your specific punishment for some reason. Also it appears to be the female warriors that are most likely to pursue you to the ends of Tamriel too. So if you do fail to escape, you can at least feel some consolation in the beauty of your executioner before she performs the ULTIMATE rectal exam.

#9 – Aftermath.

Was it worth it? That’s a question only you and your lover can judge. Most Khajiit lovers are perfectly fine without ever straying into this uncharted territory. But, if you’ve followed all of these suggestions, you and your Khajiit should now be peacefully laying back (well, she may be laying on her front) and thinking about the experience. You can even ask her if she would like you to clean her up down there. If your level of intimacy has reached this level, there is likely no part of her body forbidden to you. Use that intimacy. Give her a backrub. (No pun intended – she’s probably had quite enough attention down there!) Massage her tail. Stroke her ears. Let her know how much it meant to you. She deserves pampering now. If she falls to sleep under your slow manipulations and begins to purr, you win.

#10 – Further advice.

We at Tails of the Khajiit are happy to provide more information and advice, but we cannot do so to just anyone in Skyrim. We offer this ongoing service only to female Khajiits between the ages of 18 and 35. (Of note, if the applicant actually enjoys anal sex, an exception to the age restrictions may be made – but only on the high side!) Offers of employment in our modelling role may also be made to applicants should they be unusually extroverted in temperament.

FORUM – TotK

The following is an extract from Tails of the Khajiit magazine. Images were not present in the original magazine.

FORUM – The Nord and the Khajiit

I am a proud Nord of Skyrim and have never had much use for Khajiits. I always felt they were nothing but a bunch of lowlife theives, and those trading caravans were just a way of selling their illegal wares. But some months ago I learned differently.

I found myself trekking through a mountainous path a bit west of Windhelm when I was attacked by a Frost Troll. I am no milk drinker, but this thing was huge and fierce! The battle was long and I was beginning to tire, but the troll was relentless. I found myself up above some old dwarven ruins when the beast rushed me and I had just enough time to raise my sword in a last-ditch effort to avoid the collision. My sword pierced clean through the massive body but the force knocked me and it over a precipice and the last thing I felt was cold rushing air around me as I knew my life was over.

Yet I awoke not to find myself in Sovengarde, but instead inside a dark tent with only a flickering candle for illumination. It took no time to recognize that I was suffering from multiple wounds when I tried to move. I lay back down and waited for the pain to leave my head. How I survived the fall I could only guess, but my wounds didn’t seem too bad. Those that had not been bandaged however showed they had healed somewhat, which made me realize that I must have been under someone’s care for quite a while.

When I’d recovered my wits, I looked around the interior. Outside the wind was howling and it was obvious that I was still in the wilds, but the tent was quite sturdy and well insulated. There was an odd scent within, one I couldn’t quite place. It wasn’t offensive, just… unusual. However, as time wore on I realized how hungry I was. I could find no food within my reach, though I did find a skin with plenty of water nearby. I drank from it gratefully and dozed off again.

When I next awoke, I was not alone.

The sounds she uttered were completely foreign to me, and though she wore no clothing at all, she wore a crude belt at her waist and a sort of bandolier across her chest with various small tools within. These, I noticed, were no rough-hewn implements she had made herself, but finely worked items which showed she was at least somewhat civilized.

The tent we were in was so thickly covered that only the barest sliver of light showed through the flap that indicated that it was day outside, but the constant wind noise made it clear that a snowstorm was ongoing. Yet inside it seemed that our body heat was enough to keep it comfortable, and I soon appreciated the craftsmanship of this small but efficient shelter she had created. Soon, however, the water I had drunk asserted itself again and I looked around for something to use. I was all but naked and I saw none of my armor in the tent, should I even be capable of rising to go outside.

She didn’t seem to understand, so I explained in the most obvious way possible with a bit of a demonstration. To that she laughed and produced a small pot. In a rather futile display of modesty, I did my business turned away from her in the cramped space, though the tinkling of my urine seemed obscenely loud. When I was finished, I crawled back under the blanket. The Khajiit pulled a sort of loose fur cloak over herself and dutifully took the pot and went outside to dispose of it. As the blast from outside hit me, I was certainly grateful for the insulation provided by the blanket and once again was impressed by the thermal efficiency of this place.

When she returned and closed the flap, the heat loss inside was obvious and it would take some time to get back to tolerable levels, so I did not protest when she removed her equipment and snuggled up next to me. To say I appreciated her warmth would be an understatement. It was the first time I’d been this close to a Khajiit, but I put my arms around her and we huddled together under the blanket till our breath stopped creating frost-smoke in the tent. I recognized on her that strange but pleasant scent I have smelled before, and don’t mind admitting that I became aroused. She could not have missed that for she took me in her warm hands and adjusted me so that my erection stopped poking her. She then returned my embrace and we held each other for some time till the heat returned.

Her body was small but lithe, breasts quite adequate for her frame but muscled and tight against her chest. The fur on her chest and belly itself was quite short and was much lighter than that covering the rest of her. When she pressed herself against me, the points of her nipples were quite evident. Of other, more intimate details I have little to add. Between her legs the lighter fur continued unabated. I confess to having spied that area when she would prepare food or drink for me, but it was – at least to my eyes – not unattractive and quite similar to the Nord standard in that respect, though smaller due to her overall stature as would be expected.

I am not good at languages, I’m afraid. I’m sure she tried to tell me her name, but I just couldn’t make out where one word stopped and the next one started. But she fed me some dried meat of a sort I didn’t recognize and we

remained in that tent for a couple of days as the weather outside continued with only occasional breaks. I’m afraid I embarassed myself on one occasion when I made what must have seemed like some very crude advances on her, but she rebuffed me gently enough yet made it clear that no such activities were going to happen. Still, the feel of her against my body and that natural scent were almost intoxicating and I could not help my body’s reaction which she didn’t seem to mind even if she would not join me for any more intimate activities.

On the third day, however, I awoke to silence outside and a noticable lack of Khajiit in the tent. By the entrance to the tent lay my equipment, and I’d healed enough to put them on and step outside. The snow lay thick around the tent, and for the first time I realized that it was positioned near the ruins where I had fallen. I also saw that the tent itself had been made partially from the pelt of the troll which had been expertly skinned. It was no stretch of the imagination to figure out where the meat I had eaten had come from either. I then noticed for the first time that all her equipment was gone from inside and outside the tent, and I realized with some sadness that she had gone.

I called for her again, with more urgency and I saw her silhouetted against the sky for just a moment high above me. I waved and she waved back, not knowing what else to say or do. It almost appeared she blew me a kiss, but from that distance, it may have been my imagination. When finally I had managed to get up to where she had been, I found no trace of her. No tracks at all marked her presence. I’ve long wondered what happened to her. Yet I never saw or heard from her again.

Since that encounter, I’ve always treated Khajiits with a heightened sense of respect. I’ve since learned to speak, though poorly I’m sure, in their native tongue and go out of my way to speak to any I meet. Sometimes, if I’m in that area, I’ll inquire of any that might live out in the wilds, but if I’m asking the question correctly, none have known of her. I know I owe her my life which I will never be able to repay, but instead I do try and speak up for the Khajiit race among my fellow Nords. Skyrim is a vast and fertile land. There is room for all of us here.

*From the Tails of the Khajiit editors:

The preceeding was an excerpt from the Tails of the Khajiit magazine FORUM
section. It was submitted anonymously and published in the Udaran –
Special Edition. It has since come to light that the two parties
involved have, in fact, met – and indeed married – due to the
publication of this story. They have requested continued anonymity but
they now live peacefully on a remote homestead relatively near Whiterun.