The Quest for the Holy Dildo #13

Meanwhile, in another room, Devilah was talking to Borri after having just finished a snack. “Quite a collection of Tails you have stashed under there! You like both Argonians and Khajiits then I presume?” “Oh, yes. I’m afraid it’s a fetish of mine. It’s part of what drove me to being a Greybeard in the first place. My particular taste wasn’t very well thought of where I’m from. Honestly you’re the first Khajiit… well…” “It’s okay. If you met a true Khajiit, you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between us easily. But I do thank you for not touching me physically. I’m… trying to do better myself. Sampson is doing his best to let me be me, but I know it hurts him somewhere inside. It’s nice to be able to help you out with just… well. Modelling shall we call it?” “Devilah, I speak nothing but the truth when I tell you that was the most incredible 10 minutes of my life!” The Succubus smiled back, licking her lips. “Let’s just say it was my pleasure and leave it at that.”
“Now that I can talk to you without being constantly distracted, how can I help you?” Borri said while dressing. “Well, I want to talk to you about self control actually. I can’t live without male ejaculate Borri. But, like we just did, I think I could learn to control my need to touch other men. Just between the two of us, it was all I could do to keep from stuffing you down my throat or up my ass when you were hard.” “But you didn’t, did you?” “No… I knew you didn’t need it to get off. Mostly I just tried not to look at it and concentrate on posing for you.” “Well, even among us ‘normal’ people, it’s not an easy thing to do. But up here we reduce the temptations too. That helps a lot.” “I don’t see how I can do that,” Devilah sighed, sitting beside the Greybeard. “I can barely look at a man without wanting him inside me some way or another.”
“Oh, I understand. Even with my fetish, I can’t help but be tempted just by a pair of boobs, even if they’re all covered up. I find myself imagining what they look like behind the cloth, what they feel like… what they taste like. Up here, that’s not an issue though.” “That’s it exactly! But as long as I can remember, I never even thought of not acting on that desire.” “And males, being what we are, never try to stop you I’m sure. Looking like you do, I doubt your advances get rejected often.” “Well, even if they tried to, I have this ability to… make it even harder to resist. And I’d use it without a thought. I’ve never been rejected, Borri. Never. Except by Sampson, but he was a special case.” “What you need is some way to get what you need without ever having to look at a penis.” “Or testicles. Those are just as bad for me. Hell even a male ass makes me want to…”
“Okay, okay. I get it. But what we did here… you managed not to touch me, even though you could have. Besides thoughts of Sampson, was there anything else than helped you resist? Odd, it feels so strange to think you had to resist me. I assume I wasn’t in some way… repellent to you?” “Oh no Borri! If it weren’t for Sampson, I’d have loved to have you in me! We Succubi… It’s pretty tough for us to acheive orgasm, but we can. I’m sure I would have with you. Let me think… Maybe… Yeah, probably because I knew I’d be getting it soon. I knew you couldn’t last long and that I’d soon have your ejaculate to drink.” “So, your desire is rooted in your need to drink our… stuff?” “Well, drink or otherwise absorb. I take it in externally too for that matter. What can I say? We’re kinda weird.” “No, no… I understand. I read about your kind quite a bit. Well, Succubi in general anyway. My books never mentioned one in Khajiit form. So, you can definitly resist the physical tempatation so long as you have a supply of male semen. But, you get that from Sampson surely.” “I do, but I need more. I don’t know why, but I need it from more than just one man. That’s the heart of my problem. Quantity isn’t so important. But variety is.”
“Wait! I have an idea!” Borri said, standing up suddenly. “What is it? I think I could excercise the self control I need, if only I could get it some other way.” “Now look, this might sound disgusting. But… what if we Greybeards kept our ‘stuff’ and sent it to you?” Devilah considered this a minute. “Borri, it’s not disgusting to me. I know it probably would be for you, but you must realize that to me it’s like the finest wine. It’s what I crave. My deepest fantasy revolves around soaking in a tub full of it while men continue rotating through and keeping the tub full while I wallow in it. But how could that work?” “Well, it’s cold up here you know. We could keep it stored frozen. Then, maybe every week or so, we could send it to you. Do you think that would do? Then you would get your needs filled but would never need to look at any penis but Sampson’s.”
“I… yes… I think that might work! Just one catch…” “What’s that?” “I… don’t think the magic works unless you’re getting off to me. And I couldn’t be here. I’ve never had the experience of drinking it from anyone who didn’t produce it for me, but I have this feeling that it’s kind of necessary for the men to be directing their lust at me. Still, it’s worth a try! And I know how to find out.” “How?” “While we’re up visiting the peak tomorrow, ask one of the others to masturbate something other than me. Not even a thought of me.” Suddenly both looked at his stack of Tails.
“A better idea!” she said, realizing the solution to her last problem was right in front of her. "I need to get a magazine made of me!“ Borri was right with her. "Better get a few copies. And we men… we’re awfully fickle. Last month’s erotic pussy-shot just doesn’t do it for us this month. You’ll need to make more occasionally.” “I even know someone who used to work there. Okay! I’ll get the publisher to do a special edition just for you guys. And I’ll show everything. Maybe even get Sampson in on the action and show him fucking the hell out of me. That’ll get you guys off!” “Um… Devilah… that publisher doesn’t even do full nudes. He’s probably not going to be too keen on doing a full pornographic magazine.” Devilah laughed. “H? Leave him to me. He’s male. I’ll have no problem with him. He’ll probably want to be the photographer. ” She began to pace the floor, thinking. “You think the other Greybeards would do it? I’m not sure if they’re as into the Khajiit form as you are, but if I could get regular donations from all of you, I’d be set!”
“You may not believe it, but we don’t exactly discuss such topics among ourselves. I’ve no idea who else likes Khajiits around here. Until today, I had no idea anyone else even masturbated. I thought I was the only one!” “Well, I’m going to go for it anyway. I owe you for this! Wait… how will I pay you for the donations?” “Pay us? Devilah, you’re asking us to jack off to your picture and you want to pay us?” “Good point. Isn’t nature wonderful? Thank you so much Borri!” Devilah said, giving the Greybeard a fierce hug. “Now I’ve got to go tell Sampson. Oh! I’d better finish getting my clothes back on.”
But as they started down the hall to where Sampson and Faniel were waiting, they found the others coming her way already. “Sampson! Borri and I have the most wonderful idea!” “Oh? Arngeir, Faniel and I came up with an idea too, though I don’t know if you’ll like it or not…”
The three travelers were laughing together, which undoubtedly disturbed the Greybeards after their days of sedentary life and silences. “What?” asked Faniel. “My knees are together!” “Oh, nevermind Faniel. I’m too happy to care! Borri even found containers for it. He’s going to keep them separated too. Oh, isn’t it wonderful Sampson?” Sampson was truly happy. “It’s absolutely disgusting, Devilah. But also wonderful in a very perverse way. What do you think Faniel?” “If it works and keeps you two together, I’m all for it. But you know, even if H is up for producing a magazine for you Devilah, it’s going to be some time before it can get published, get delivered up here, and get the results sent back to you – and we don’t even know where you’ll be.” “I don’t care,” Devilah laughed. “I’ll have my own delivery service!” “Devilah’s Special Milk! Now with 10% more Borri!” Sampson sputtered.
“Hey, don’t make fun of him. Besides, he tastes great!” “EWWWWW!” “You started it!” “Well, I may think it’s disgusting, but I’ll get over that. If I can have you all to myself someday soon!” Suddenly Devilah’s ears twitched. “I just got another idea. Sampson, I don’t know if you’re going to like it, but it means I can be yours exclusively even sooner.” “Try me.” “I can put on a show for them. Hand them some containers and have them watch the show. I’ll have a supply before we even come down the mountain.”
“You’re talking about a guy that had his Succubus lover take two guards last night. You think I’d mind you putting on a show for them? Hell, I’ll watch!” “Um… no. You won’t.” “Hmmm?” “You’ll be in the show.” “You… want me to make love to you with a bunch of old Greybeards watching?” Devilah looked at Sampson. “Yes Sampson. Yes I do. Believe me, they will not even see you. Every time you pump that dick of yours into me, they’ll be imagining it’s theirs. When I lick your balls, theirs will be tightening in sympathy. Sampson, there’s only so much I can do by myself. And I need them to give me all they’ve got. One shot isn’t going to do it. But when they see you fucking my brains out, that image will stay in their heads for weeks! Sampson… I need you to do this for me. Please.”
Sampson relented. “When are you thinking of putting on this show?” “Shows,” Devilah said, emphasizing the plural and knowing full well he was going to do it now. “I want to do one tonight and another when we come back from the peak. I can get at least another couple out of them all that way.” “You know, you’re turning these old men into your personal dairy farm, right?” Devilah looked innocently at Sampson. “No one’s forcing them to! But I bet I get a sellout crowd.” “This is gonna be tough, Dev. I don’t even know if I can get it up with a bunch of old men whacking off behind me!” “I’ll help. I still have some power over such things,” she said, unfurling her hidden wings as a reminder. “I’ll make you forget they’re even there.”

The Quest for the Holy Dildo #12

No one answered when they tried knocking at the door, though it seemed unlikely that their attempts to knock were even heard by any that might be near. Instead, Sampson drew one of the huge doors aside and all three stepped within. “Let Sampson go first, Devilah,” Faniel advised, to which the Succubus agreed without protest. “Hello? Anyone here?” Sampson called. The echoes died away but were soon replaced with the sound of shuffling feet approaching. An old man came in view. “Hello pilgrim. I am Arngeir. What brings you to High Hrothgar? Has the Dragonborn come?”
“I’m no Dragonborn. I am just a traveler on a quest. I bring two companions and seek only to look out from the peak of the mountain. One of us can sense our goal and we thought from such an advantage point she might be able to get a better idea of where we must go.” “Impossible. Only the Dragonborn can reach the peak. You are welcome to look out on our balconies and see what you can. We will host you within if you would like. But you are not allowed to venture to the peak. But bring out your companions. Let us see what sort of people you bring us.” Devilah stepped out first, swaying provocatively towards the Greybeard. At her appearance, a gasp came from somewhere nearby. “Come out, my brothers,” Arngeir said to the walls. “Surely you’ve seen a Khajiit before? You must forgive us, travelers. We don’t see many Khajiits up here. Especially not as voluptuous as you! May I know your name?“ "I am known as Devilah, Arngeir.” said the Succubus, stepping closer.
As she walked closer, his eyes widened and he stepped back in fear. “You are no Khajiit! You are a Succubus! Begone, demon! We have no truck with the likes of you. We are immune to your wiles!” Other Greybeards came out from a doorway and stood around the two menacingly. A feeling of power emanated from them and Sampson drew his sword. “A Succubus she is, Greybeard. But she is my mate and my love. You will not threaten her!”
Faniel chose that moment to step out from where she waited, watching. “Put away your sword, Sampson. There is no threat here. Just some old men who have forgotten their manners it seems!” All eyes turned to the Angel and instantly all the Greybeards dropped to their knees, heads down. Faniel smiled and walked slowly towards the leader. “Rise, Arngeir. At least you have the good sense to recognize an Angel when you see one.” Arngeir rose, but kept his eyes averted from Faniel as she came forward.
“You judge this Succubus, Arngeir. If you know me, you know my faith. Would you judge her? Are you the spotless lamb that can judge others?” Arngeir said nothing but his robes betrayed a shivering within. “Speak, Arngeir. What have you to say?” “Angel… Please… She is a demon!” “A demon she is. But she sides with the Good now. She is a creation of her Creator, as are you. Nothing Created is beyond saving. Yet you have condemned her only by her nature.”
“Forgive, Angel. We… we were wrong to do so.” “Yes, you were. But it is not my place to forgive. Nor forget. But let this pass now. Rise, all of you. Look upon me.” At her command, they all rose and, though it obviously pained them, they had no choice. “I am an Angel, but I am not of your world Greybeards. I seek only to return to my own place. But to do that, I need help. This Succubus and this Hero are my companions. Will you aid me, and through me, them as well?” “Of course we will,” Arngeir said with sincerity. “Worlds without end, we will aid any such as you in anything you require, even unto death!” To that, all the other Greybeards murmured agreement. Something in Faniel’s face shifted, and they all relaxed somewhat. “Now, let’s have some light in here.“ she said, and the room seemed to glow from above.
"Very well. That’s more like it. I am called Faniel. Through circumstances that you need not concern yourself with, I find myself in your world. What I need is a small thing, but I can sense it. I would like to travel to the peak of this mountain, which I judge to be not too much further. But my companions are tired. Might we stay the night with you and continue on tomorrow?” “Paarthurnax!” whispered one of the Greybeards. “They will meet Paarthurnax!” “Silence Einarth! If they are fated to meet Paarthurnax, then so it shall be!” “Who is this Paarthurnax?” Faniel asked. “He is our leader. He is a dragon.”
“A dragon?!” shouted Sampson. “You keep a dragon up here?” “He is… reformed!” Arngeir explained. “You see,” Faniel said calmly. “Even a dragon can see the Light. You must not judge based on nature alone.” Arngeir looked at Devilah with new respect. “Please, forgive me Devilah. I am humbled and ashamed. But we’ve all taken a vow of celibacy here. I don’t know if you’ll find us very… accommodating to your needs.” “Don’t be, Arngeir. I may be the only Succubus ever to… become whatever it is I am. You couldn’t know. But I’d like to talk further to you or one of your companions.”
“Arngeir,” Faniel smiled sweetly. “I don’t appreciate being lied to.” The leader of the Greybeards looked away from her gaze. “Lie? What lie?” “You are not celibate.” “But… It’s true! We’ve all taken a vow…” “Oh, I’m quite sure you have. That vow was broken. By all of you. Long, long ago and ever since then. Am I right? Who here can say he has kept this vow?” The silence was deafening. “As I thought. I’m sorry Arngeir. I doubt even you knew it, but that vow is pointless. It diminishes your other sacrifices. Relinquish this promise that you have not kept. You do no honor to yourselves with this lie.” Arngeir looked to the other Greybeards, who one by one nodded, acknowledging both their failure and their agreement with the Angel. “Then I, as the Voice of the Greybeards, hereby revoke the vow of celibacy. We… will not continue to claim that honor. As Faniel said, a vow that is not kept is no vow.”
Then, turning to one of the others, Arngeir spoke up. “Bolli. Would you mind escorting Devilah to your quarters. As I recall, you are uniquely suited to accompany her, and answer her questions.” Bolli nodded and escorted Devilah down a hallway nearby, while Arngeir dismissed the others and showed Faniel and Sampson to a guest room. “I’m sorry we haven’t a more accommodating place for you. But you are welcome to stay here as long as you like.” “Thank you Arngeir. I’m sorry to have had to put you all through that little scene. But sometimes it’s helpful to get things out in the open. Do you understand?” Faniel said softly. “I do. We have been… I thought I was the only one who was unfaithful to that particular tenet of the Way.” “It is a harder tenet to follow than you think. But now you needn’t concern yourself with it any longer. It is not necessary to your Way.”
Sampson spoke up then as they sat to talk with Arngeir a bit. “You know, Devilah would be more than happy to… help you all out there.” “Oh? The way you spoke before, I gathered…” “She’s a succubus,” Sampson said. “It would be the height of cruelty for me to ask her to remain true in all ways to me alone.” “Say,” Faniel interjected. “I have an idea.” An hour later, they had settled on a plan. “Do you think she’ll agree?” Sampson asked Faniel as the Greybeard made his way out of the room. “That’s for her to decide. It really depends on if she requires the act, or just the substance. I’ve not much more understanding of her needs than you have, Sampson. But… I’m hopeful!”

The Quest for the Holy Dildo #11

“Is it really 7000 steps?” Faniel asked.

“Well, that’s what they say. Feel like counting them?” Sampson answered as they stood at the base of the Throat of the World and looking up at the daunting Steps. He was clad in fur now, having spent some of their gold on new, more appropriate clothing for the climb.

Faniel laughed. “No, not really. I guess we’d best just get started.”

“Do you know anything about these Greybeards?” Devilah asked Sampson as they began to climb.

“Not much. Just what I’ve been told. They’re supposed to have some sort of fortress up near the top. They’re pretty reclusive I guess. They have some sort of ‘Shout’ magic that they can teach though. Ivarstead has some regulars that take them supplies routinely and they meet with pilgrims who climb the 7000 Steps.”

“And they’re all men?” Devilah asked.

“Why? Anticipating a target-rich environment?” Sampson laughed.

“Well, they must be lonely up there all by themselves, right?”

“Sounds like a monastery,” Faniel offered. “We have monks in the place I come from. They may be celibate.”

Sampson scoffed, “I can’t imagine what they’d have to celebrate up their with just other old men around!”

“’CELIBATE’”, Faniel enunciated. “It means they don’t have sex.”

“Oh! I did that for a while. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be,” Sampson said.

“Don’t I know it!” Devilah agreed.

“If that
is the case, Devilah, you may want to tone down your sexuality a bit. Some will be weaker than others to your… charms. You could probably get donations from all of them if you try, but they’ll end up feeling they’ve broken their vows.”

“Not much of a vow if they’re ready to ‘donate’ to any hot tail that comes their way,” pointed out the Succubus.

“Vows are pretty fragile things, Devilah. But they are important to those who make them, even if they are pointless. They’re a test of willpower. Control over one’s own nature. I respect those who make them, even if I also see them as mostly silly.”

They stood up to continue on their climb. Sampson and Faniel talked, but Devilah found herself lost in thought at the words of the Angel.

“They say it gets very cold up farther, Faniel. I know how efficient Devilah’s fur is, but other than your wings, your body is pretty much human. Are you sure you don’t need something to wear?” Sampson asked Faniel seriously.

“Thank you for your concern, Sampson, but I assure you, cold doesn’t affect me in the slightest.”

“We could stop before we get to the Greybeards too if you can get a good feel for the dildo’s location. We don’t have to go all the way you know.”

“Yeah. And I very well might be able to. But these Greybeards sound very interesting. I’d kind of like to meet them. I think… I think I’m supposed to for some reason.”

The scenery changed and the sky grew grey as they climbed and the wind began to pick up. Soon they passed the first flakes of snow.

“Faniel. Can you tell me more about these monks in the world you come from?” Devilah asked, breaking her silence.

“Certainly! They’re people who are very devoted to their Faith, Devilah. Sometimes they get the particulars wrong, but they want to devote their lives to it. They feel that anything that gets in the way of that is a distraction. So they give up those things that they feel are worldly to live life in a way that they feel is more… attuned to their beliefs. The monasteries are places that like-minded devotees gather and work out their own way of life.”

“So they are ultra-religious then?” Devilah asked.

“Some are. Others just seek a higher state of conciousness. Or even just the company of other like-minded people. Not all remain so throughout their lives either, but it’s rare for any to regret the choice, even if later they leave the cloister.”

“Cloister?” Devilah asked.

“Sorry Devilah. We have a lot of odd words for such things. Just… if they leave the community later, they usually still retain some dedication to the beliefs that led them to it. Some go on to become friars – people that try to spread their beliefs to others. Depending on their beliefs, they can be very powerful forces for good in my world.”

“Do they always go against nature?” Devilah asked, finding the topic oddly fascinating.

“No, not at all. It may be hard for you to understand, but many are quite… naturalistic. Believing that to be in harmony with nature is a central tenent of their faith.”

“But they hate sex?” Devilah asked, confused.

Faniel laughed heartily.

“They don’t hate sex, Dev. Well, most don’t. Sampson didn’t hate sex when he was trying to be celibate. It’s just their way of mastering their own bodies. Though, admittedly, that may not be true of all. Some probablty do. Even among monks, there are wide ranges of beliefs. But most do it as a way of learning control. There are some who practice silence too. Since these seem to base their faith around this ‘Shout’ magic, I’d not be surprised if they have some similar tendency related to vocalization.”

They had climbed high up the mountain by this time, but it’s peak seemed to be just as far above them. The trail did not lead steadily around the mountain, but wound back on itself at times, while at others it followed natural features of the mountain. The steps they trod were ancient, seeming to be part of the mountain itself. Yet in places they were obviously recently re-worked or added to. Marker stones and shrines of a sort also appeared along they way, and they stopped to read them. Finally they came to the edifice known as High Hrothgar. There was no sound or movement however.

“Maybe they’re all on vacation?” Sampson offered nervously, trying his best not to look at Faniel in her current position and failing miserably.

“It’s as I thought,” Faniel said, reading the tenth stone aloud that ended the 7000 steps. “’The Voice is worship. Follow the Inner path. Speak only in True Need.’ I don’t think there will be much conversation ahead.”

“Um… Faniel…” Devilah said, once she noticed where Sampson’s attention was focused.

“Oh. Sorry,” Faniel apologized, standing up. “I keep forgetting about… men.”

Devilah laughed. “And I can’t forget about them! But… if they practice Silence, then maybe they’re not celibate?”

Faniel shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not. The two aren’t mutually exclusive. But remember, Devilah, they’re old men at any rate. They’re not likely to be much interested regardless of any vows.”

Devilah looked up at the tower and walls in front of them. “If they’ve made such a vow, Faniel, I’ll honor that and keep my hands off. But if not…”

Faniel chuckled, “Step aside Rogaine and Cialis, Devilah has come to town!”

“Dieties from your world?” Sampson asked.

“Aphrodisiacs. Come on, let’s go meet these Greybeards.”

The Quest for the Holy Dildo #10

(Author’s Note: I swear one of these days I’m going to do a post with no nudity whatsoever. To quote Aragorn, “But it is not this day.” In my defense, it IS a story about a dildo… )

“Ask me what?” Muz-Ra said as they walked the path back to the secret entrance to Dragon’s Reach.

“He wants to know if you have any other secrets you can share?”

Muz-Ra laughed heartily. “Liked it that much eh?”

“Like I’d sent him into space.”

“You once thought that was disgusting you know, Uber.”

“It
is disgusting. But he likes it and that makes all the difference. So? How about it? Any other ‘suggestions’ for our love making?”

“Well, if you really want to blow his mind, and your own for that matter, you should meet Black Beauty!”

“Black Beauty?”

“It’s what I call it. The Jarl thinks it’s too much, and I think I agree. It’s hard to explain, but after we’re done with the Jarl, I’ll show it to you.”

(…later)

“So, what do you think?” Muz-Ra asked Ubergard, who was still quivering slightly in a pool of her own making.

“Red… (huff) That thing is… (huff)… I haven’t got the words!”

“I know. I don’t use it much anymore. I’m afraid it might get addictive. I mean, as much as I love the Jarl, that thing could take his place every night and I might be hard-pressed to regret it. Even the Jarl says so.”

“I… Mmmmm! (huff)… It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.”

“Me neither. I was feeling kinky one day and tried to wear it inside. I could barely get out of my room. I had to take it out.”

“I always thought I had self-control, Red. But that thing… It’s Orgasm in a Bottle!”

“Thanks for staying with me. At first I thought you were just wanted to watch me… you know. But now…”

“Yeah, it really shouldn’t be used alone. A girl might never be seen again! But no problem. I could easily be a lesbian I think, if I just didn’t like men so much.”

“Well, thanks anyway.”

“If it’s too much for you, maybe it’s best you not show it to K’rris. Men haven’t got our control you know.”

“What do you do with it on the Jarl?”

“Just about anything works. Up the bum is the obvious choice, but he came when I just rubbed his balls with it! But the best… mind if I get technical?”

“Of course not Red! You just saw me orgasm for 30 minutes straight all over myself!”

“Well, one night I put it inside… in the back… and had the Jarl take my pussy.”

The giant Argonian’s eyes went wide. “Oh my god! And he felt it too!”

“Uber, it was the most powerful thing either of us had ever experienced. After he came the first time, he didn’t even begin to go soft. We fucked for two hours straight. I was so wet he didn’t even get sore. But it was after that I put it away. It was too much, but it bound us together sexually like nothing else could.”

“I want it. Just for one night. I’ve got to try that.”

“Just… be careful, and explain to K’rris about it. I think there’s something magical about it. I know you can handle it, but the Jarl’s pretty old and experienced in things. K’rris isn’t. Even just feeling it through your body, it might be too much for him.”

“I will,” Ubergard agreed. “But… Oh what a night we’ll have!”

“You will. I envy you. That night with the Jarl when I did that… It will definitely be unforgettable. But, take my advice. Only do it one night.”

The next day, Ubergard came back to meet Muz-Ra at the secret entrance.

“So?”

Ubergard handed Black Beauty over.

“Oh Red. No. Take it back. I can’t control myself with that.”

“Is K’rris okay?”

“I think I may have sprained him a little. Nothing serious. But I lost it last night. I was all over him with every bit of strength I had Red. He went down on me and I practically drowned him, and I rode him till the sun came up. If he has a drop left in him, I’d be surprised. But I swear he’d love to give it to me again if he could anyway!”

“I’m sorry, Uber. I tried to warn you though.”

“Sorry!? Don’t be sorry Red. That was a night we can never forget. But only one, or I’ll break him. Or he’ll break me. I felt like I was just going to melt into a puddle all over him.”

Muz-Ra put Black Beauty away, not missing the fact that Ubergard’s eyes followed it till it was out of sight. “Well, give him my best wishes for a speedy recovery!”

“I will. And I’ll let him stay on top till he gets better.”

“Oh! Any problems with the wedding? Will he be okay for that?”

“I don’t know Red. I really rode him hard. He’s getting better, and I’m sure he’ll be fine soon, but…”

“Mmm. I better tell the Jarl. Don’t worry about it though. Tell K’rris he doesn’t have to wear the kilt and he doesn’t have to be the best man. We’ll get someone else. Maybe H.”

“Thanks Red. I’d better get back though. He’s sleeping now but I should look after him. He… needs a lot of liquids.”

The Jarl took the news better than expected. “Actually, I’m a little bit glad of it. I think I have someone else in mind that I really owe it to. But I understand what he must have felt. In my younger years, I’d have probably done that too under that thing’s power. I’ll send him a get-well gift. But he’ll still be at the wedding, right?”

“Yes. Probably sitting down, but he’ll be there.”

“Good. I want him to know there’s no hard feelings between us.”

“So, who are you thinking?”

“Does the best man have to be a man?” the Jarl asked.

“Her?!“ Muz-Ra managed to squeal while the Jarl lowered his back massage.

"She’s been by my side for years, Red. She deserves it.”

“And… really… you’ve never fucked?”

“Never. I would tell you if we had. I don’t think she likes men. But I’m not sure she likes women either for that matter. She seems to be… nonsexual.”

“She likes you, that’s for sure.”

“She’s been the most loyal person I’ve ever known, Red.”

“How does she look in a kilt?”

“Oh? You wouldn’t have her wear one of your bridesmaid outfits?”

“I think she’d look better in the kilt. And I think she’d appreciate it more.”

“I think you’re right about that. Now, how about you ride me till the sun comes up?”

“I might strain your legs!”

“Promise?” the Jarl asked, rolling over as she lowered herself over his face.

“Mmmm!” she moaned as the obscene licking sounds grew more moist. “I’ll drown you Jarlmeister!”

The Quest for the Holy Dildo #9

“Take your clothes off K’rris and try this on. We need to get it fitted,” Ubergard asked her lover. “A kilt? You want me to wear a kilt at your wedding!?” K’rris looked at Muz-Ra incredulously. “Well sure! K’rris, I’m going to be stark naked. I don’t see what you have to complain about.” “Well first of all, I have a tail you know! My ass will be on view for the whole world to see. Not to mention my balls.” “But… they’re very nice balls K’rris!” Ubergard said, trying to be reassuring. “Besides, silly cat, we’ve got tails too you know. We’ve cut a hole for your tail,” Muz-Ra said.
“B..But… What about when I sit down?” “Oh, now you’re just being petulant. Sit carefully!” The male Khajiit looked to his giantess lover for support, but got only a lewd smile in return. “Hey, have you seen the outfits she wants us to wear?” “Yeah, but… you’re used to that sort of thing… kinda. Aren’t you? From doing those Tails photo shoots?” “Well, yeah. But, you’re naked now…” “That’s different. You’ve both seen me naked before.” “K’rris,” Ubergard put on her stern face. “You’re going to wear a kilt and that’s all I want to hear about it. After all Red’s done for us, I insist.” He looked to Muz-Ra, who only nodded.
“I’ll wear the damned thing,” K’rris finally relented. “That’s right, you will. Now, put it on so we can see how it fits.” K’rris wriggled into the kilt, keeping his tail as flat against his legs as he could. A problem soon became obvious, though, and it was not his tail. “Is this a joke Red? Do you really want me walking around your wedding with my schlong poking out?!” K’rris asked sincerely. “I hadn’t thought… but now that you mention it…” Muz-Ra mused for a moment. “OH! I see!” Ubergard said with a nod. “It’s on backwards. That’s the tail hole. Turn it around.“
Soon they had the problem resolved, though K’rris was still complaining of the lack of underwear, which the two Argonians ignored completely. "Hmm… What do you think, Red?” Ubergard asked while appraising the look of her lover in the unusual garb. “I need to see it in the light. Come outside K’rris. Let’s see it in the sun.” The three walked outside to the balcony, K’rris keeping the kilt in place with his hands against any stray gusts of wind.
The two walked around him, examining and tugging bits of the cloth. “The color looks fine.” “Don’t you think, maybe, it could be a little longer?” K’rris asked hopefully. “Actually, I was thinking a little shorter. What do you think Red?” “Well, it would be great if his balls were peeking out just a little bit.” “WHAT?!”
Muz-Ra smiled. “Yeah, and a bit of ass cheek in the back.” “Nonono!” K’rris complained. “Nevermind! The length is fine!” “I don’t suppose we could go back to having that cock-hole?” Ubergard spoke up for K’rris this time. “Red, you’ve got him in a dress with no underwear. I think that’s probably as far as we should go.” “Oh, alright. Okay, you can take it off now K’rris. Just give me a second to give it a little alteration.”
After the alteration was made, they had him put it back on again. “Wait,” Muz-Ra said, puzzled as her and Ubergard threaded K’rris’ tail through the kilt. “Hmmm…” Ubergard said. “It looked fine there before. Where’d the extra drape go?” Muz-Ra turned to the front of the kilt. “Ah HA! He’s got an erection!” “Sorry.” “Damn but it’s tough to fit males! What should we do about that? Should we fit it to his boner, or assume he’ll be flaccid?”
K’rris spoke up then. “If you girls are going to wear those transparent outfits and Red’s going to be naked, I’m probably going to be hard more than not!” Both girls nodded. “Ubergard, I need him to maintain that if I’m going to drape this properly. "No problem there Red,” Ubergard said as she removed her armor. “Is that as hard as you get K’rris?” Muz-Ra asked as she held a bit of his outfit.
“I think so…” K’rris stammered, eyes glued to Ubergard’s butt. “You want him at full staff? Hold on a second,” Ubergard answered, ignoring K’rris and bending over farther as if touching her toes. “There,” she said, wiggling her ass in K’rris’ face. “Now he’ll be at his max.” “Got it!” Muz-Ra said proudly, pinching a bit of cloth to keep it marked. “Okay, thanks K’rris. I think this will do.”
“So, we good here? Because I’d really like to spend a little quality time with Uber right now!” “Oh, sure! Take it off and you and Uber can go at it like rabbits.” Muz-Ra took the kilt from K’rris and sat down on a bench with a needle and thread. “Um… Red?” Ubergard asked sweetly as her lover proceeded to voraciously bury his face between her legs, heedless of anything else now. “Mmm?” “A little privacy please?”
“Oh, sure. Ubergard, when you’re done here, do you mind coming by Dragons Reach? We need to work on the Jarl’s kilt too.” “Sure! Be right there. This won’t take long. Just wait for me at the door.” “Hey! How do you know? Isn’t that up to me how long it will take?!” K’rris asked, looking up wetly. “In theory, sure K’rris! In practice… Ubergard? Do you remember that thing I told you about?” Ubergard smiled evilly. “Completely,” she said, stroking K’rris’ cheek with her tail. “I’ll be down in 10 minutes.”
Muz-Ra left and and K’rris looked at the big Argonian as she lay her head back down against the cool stone. “‘Thing’? What ‘Thing’?” “You’ll see…” she smiled, closing her eyes as she felt him enter her. … Ubergard and K’rris met Muz-Ra at the door in less than 5 minutes, K’rris walking a bit unsteadily but with an awkward grin on his face.“ "Worked did it?” Muz-Ra laughed. “Like magic. Didn’t it K’rris?” “M… magic!” Ubergard bent down to nuzzle the little Khajiit. “Don’t worry K’rris. I’ll be back soon.” “And… you’ll ask her?” K’rris whispered, obviously embarrassed.

The Quest for the Holy Dildo #8

The two sat in silence, listening to the slow breathing of the sleeping patrons around them. The Angel smiled a few minutes later. “And now, I think you have some guests to entertain. I’ll be in our room. Best not do it out here though. The others will awaken anytime.” “Thanks for everything, Faniel.” Devilah said sincerely.
The door opened and the two guards walked in, looking around at the sleepers. “What the hell?” they both said simultaneously. “Oh, it’s nothing boys. They’re just sleeping. I’ll be right with you,” Devilah smiled her most seductive smile to placate them, then turned back to Faniel.
“Faniel, I don’t know much about Angels,” the Khajiit said in a hushed voice. “My special skills… well, I get the feeling that I couldn’t give you an orgasm if I tried my hardest. Is there anything I can do for you? You’ve given us…” “Silly Devilah. You don’t know anything about Angels if you think you need to give me something back. My reward is in your eyes. I’ve brought joy to you and these people. You more than any other should have some idea what I mean. You live off of the physical joy of men. That’s your nature. I live by bringing another kind of joy to anyone I can. You’ve already paid me, Devilah. Now, go make these horny guards’ fantasies come true. We are more alike than you know. Just remember, sex is the invention of your creator too. It is to be enjoyed to the fullest, so long as it is mutual. And not… hurtful. These guards are uncommitted and lonely. Go and fulfill your nature. You are a succubus, but now you are a Good succubus. So be the best fucking succubus that’s ever been!”
Devilah watched her go with amazement, then turned to the two bewildered men. “He… he said we should tell you he brought you a snack,” stammered the bearded guard. “Come outside, boys. I’m going to rock your world. But you’re a dessert, I’m afraid. I’ve already had dinner.”
Later, after the patrons had awakened and most had retired to their homes, two simultaneous cries of pleasure were heard by no one else save the special ears of an Angel and perhaps another who sat far atop the nearby mountain. Two sets of balls were drained directly down the throat of the best succubus the world had ever seen. Though she had to use all her power to accomplish the feat, to her credit she didn’t spill a drop and the two men never saw her wings before they were retracted. The two guards didn’t speak about the events of that night afterwards except between themselves, but they had their own pet name for it though. They called it the Deep Throat of the World, though neither could explain how it had even been physically possible!
When she crept into the room later, Faniel was lying on the other bed and Sampson was still sleeping. Faniel looked up and smiled a knowing nod and went back, apparently, to sleep. Devilah removed her clothes and, with some of her own magic, managed to get Sampson stiff again without waking him and snuggled up to him, inserting him into herself. Then, with her lover nestled deep inside her, she fell to sleep as contented as she had ever been in her life.
Faniel sighed as she opened her eyes and slid silently out of bed to look at the her two sleeping friends. In a voice no one could hear, she made a request of her Creator, though this was not his universe. She did not trouble to concern herself with whether or not it would be granted. She knew that it would be. Only the timing and circumstances of it were unknown to her.
Though it was bound to be violating some social custom, she couldn’t help herself. She was a Guardian Angel. Besides, she would return to her bed before either would wake. She might no longer truly be an Angel, but she still felt the need to follow her instincts. She climbed on top of both of them, using all the grace she could muster to disturb them as little as possible and lay atop her two sleeping friends, holding them with her delicate hands and covering them both with her wings, lightening herself so that she weighed little more than a blanket atop them.
The smooth body heat of Sampson and the soft fur of Devilah against her skin warmed her in a way that had nothing to do with temperature. She knew her body was getting aroused, but that too was natural. It was just a symptom of such close proximity to these two that she had come to love in her own way. She shifted a bit and felt a sensitive part of herself press against Devilah’s hip but so lightly that the succubus didn’t even stir. “You’re wrong, Devilah,” she thought with her eyes closed as she experienced her own gentle, nearly motionless orgasm and dampened Devilah’s fur just a little. “You and your lover turn me on more than you guess. But you don’t need to know that.” “Magic,” she thought as she drifted into her own sort of sleep. “Only you mortals have real magic. All else is smoke and mirrors. I envy you that. Too soon I will no longer be capable of experiencing this – but I’ll remember it.”

The Quest for the Holy Dildo #7

Klimmek and his friends watched the two lovers retreat to the privacy of their room. “That cat’s ass is awesome, but I’d hit that angel’s pussy so hard she couldn’t walk for a week!”, said one of Klimmek’s friends. The blow that came an instant later laid the man out cold on the floor as Klimmek looked fiercely at his other friend. “I’ll not hear such talk of my Lady Faniel!” he warned his remaining companion. The Bosmer held his hands up, “I wouldn’t dream of it!”
Faniel looked over at the two and smiled, nodding to Klimmek thankfully. Devilah’s voice rang out loud and gravelly with lust through the tavern causing more than a little bawdy laughter, “Dammit, screw these boots. For the love of all that is sacred, Sampson, leave the boots on and fuck me now!!!”
“Lynly?” Faniel asked the bard, “I wonder if you could play something for me?” Faniel asked. “I’ll try my best, Faniel. What would you like?” “Just… play along to this tune…” Faniel answered as she hummed a melody that was strange but hauntingly familiar to the patrons. A tune none could ever recall again. But, as the two lovers shed their clothes and their bodies mingled in the privacy of their room nearby, the Angel began to sing…
Lynly’s hands seemed to continue of their own accord as the angel’s voice began. None present had ever heard such a voice, and even the jaded bartender stepped from behind his post and sat to listen. The sounds of Sampson and Devilah’s passionate lovemaking seemed not to interrupt Faniel’s song but to add a rhythmic counterpoint as their bed began to bang out its own drumbeat against the wall and their moans of ecstasy blended with Faniel’s voice as if in harmonic accompaniment.
The song reached it’s emotional peak just as the lovers reached their own, and it seemed as if Faniel was vocalizing their own feelings as they fell back to earth, both sated and spent.
A long while later, Devilah noticed she heard no sounds coming from the tavern and asked Sampson if perhaps they should return. But he was asleep so she put her own clothes back on and returned. Outside, everyone was sleeping except Faniel. “What happened? What did you do?” “Oh, it’s nothing. They’re just sleeping. My singing tends to do that. They’ll wake up soon. How was your orgasm?”
“It was… incredible,” Devilah admitted, sitting on the floor beside the fire. “I thought I heard singing, but I wasn’t sure if it was in my head or not. You’ve got your own sort of magic, don’t you?” The Angel smiled. “I have nothing. All I have was given me. Sampson really loves you Devilah. That offer to the guards was quite a sacrifice for him. They’ll be here soon.”
“I know. He’s more than I deserve, Faniel. If I were a normal Khajiit, I’d reject them. But… I just can’t.” “I understand more than anyone, Devilah. I can’t divulge much of what happened before I came here, but I was your Guardian Angel for a little bit. You might say I read up on you. But don’t feel too bad. A sacrifice is worth nothing without some little pain. He knows you will do what you will do.”

The Quest for the Holy Dildo #6

The tavern was sparsely populated, but all heads did a double-take when Faniel entered. The Angel laughed loudly. “Well, hello to all of you too! Yes, I have wings.”

“And nice tits too!” said one inebriated patron.

“Oh yes! And check out this pussy!” Faniel laughed back.

“Looks like she’s smuggling a hamster.” said another.

“Looks like a tribble is giving her oral!” said the first.

“Oh!”, Faniel laughed alongside them. “You mean my pubic hair? Would you like it better shaved?”

“Yeah! Butter-smooth pussy is the best! Like a baby’s bottom.”

Sampson looked at Devilah, “What’s a tribble?“ to which she only shrugged.

"I’ll go get us a room,” Devilah said to Sampson. “You handle this!”

Sampson decided he’d better put a stop to anything before someone got the wrong ideas. “Guys, she’s new around here. And she’s off limits. Unless you want to follow the Orc I just beheaded. Just enjoy the show.”

Faniel frowned. "Pffft. You’re no fun Sampson. Stop worrying about me. Now I’m going to go talk to this man who clearly has good taste in the female form!“

"Watch yourself Faniel. They’re drunk.”

“In Vino Veritas,” quoted the Angel, to which Sampson just scratched his head.

Despite Sampson’s warning, Faniel walked up to the man and asked if he’d like to dance. The grin that spread across his face showed pure joy and he lept out of his seat, spilling his mug.

“And you, I presume, play music?” Faniel asked a lady sitting nearby with a lute on her lap. “Would you mind doing so for me and this gentleman?”

“I would be honored. I am Lynly Star-Sung. And you are?”

“Please call me Faniel. And now, good sir, could you show my friend how to treat a lady? Dance with me, if you would!”

Sampson and Devilah went to the bar and ordered some drinks, though Sampson noticed that Devilah did little more than touch the mug to her lips as they watched the pair in fascination.

The man, named Klimmek, stared into Faniel’s eyes as if in a trance, while she laughed and danced with him like she was dancing with the most graceful man on earth. It seemed her wings bore not the slightest hindrance for them, and even though he was apparently just some local farmer, somehow he was able to match her in grace as long as he kept looking into her eyes. Even the bard seemed to rise to the occasion and her voice was no longer that of a lowly bard in a backwater village, but transformed into something more.

Sampson looked at Devilah whose eyes were shining as they turned back to him. "Care to dance?“ he found himself asking.

"I… think I would!” she whispered, and the two joined the Angel and the farmer.

As the last note died away, not a word was spoken as the two pairs of dancers separated. Faniel broke the spell. “Thank you Klimmek.You dance wonderfully!”

The stunned farmer looked down at his shoddy clothes and back to the Angel with tears in his eyes, but could only stammer, “Thank you, m’lady… er… Lady Faniel. I was just kidding about the… hair.”

Faniel kissed him as he sat back down. “I doubt that very much, but thank you for the lie.”

The three travelers retired to a table while the bard started up another tune.

“What the hell was that, Faniel?” Sampson asked her when she sat down.

“Oh, just livening up the poor guy’s life a bit.”

“Magic?” asked Devilah.

“Oh no. He’s always had it in him. He just needed someone to bring it out. A great dancer don’t you think?”

“I wish I could… please him like you do men, Devilah. He deserves it.”

“You can’t do that?” Devilah asked.

“I can. But it would be cruel. I never want to be that cruel. I just want to bring joy, but I can’t stay with him forever as he’d like. So no, it wouldn’t be right.”

“That reminds me,” Sampson said, turning to Devilah. “Dev, you may meet those guards later.”

“The ones on the bridge? Why?”

“I… suggested you might like another snack.”

“Oh Sampson! Are you serious?!”

“Well… yes. Did I do something wrong?”

Devilah gave him a kiss that he would never forget for it’s warmth and passion. He was a bit surprised that her raspy tongue could still feel so good inside his own mouth.

“Devilah! Jeeze, I just told them…” Sampson managed once she’d released him enough to talk.

“I love you Sampson. I think they’ll have to be a dessert, not an appetizer. I want you, stud, and I want you RIGHT NOW! Let’s go to our room!”

Sampson laughed and picked Devilah up bodily and carried her off to be ravished out of sight, if not totally out of earshot.

The Quest for the Holy Dildo #5

“Wait! Hold on big guy!” cried the leader, wisely dropping his weapon to the ground and dropping to his knees. The other man was running like a rabbit and Sampson decided not to pursue him, turning back to the man before him. “You want to live?” Sampson asked, not a hint of sarcasm in his voice.
Some time later, Sampson was wearing some much nicer leather armor but trying to console Faniel. “You know, you didn’t have to do that Sampson,” Faniel sobbed. “No? You’d rather have been raped?” Faniel shook her head, her eyes flashing anger and sadness simultaneously. “I can’t be raped. He couldn’t touch me if he wanted to.” “Oh, he wanted to all right. Why? Do you have some special power I don’t know about?” asked Sampson. “I am protected by my Faith. Everything that happens is by my Creator’s design. He wouldn’t allow anything like that to happen to me.”
Look, faith is one thing, Faniel, but this is Skyrim. Maybe me killing that Orc was how your Creator was to protect you.“ Faniel considered that. Finally, she lightened up. "Well, that’s certainly true I guess. Everything happens as he wills it. But that doesn’t mean it’s the only way.” Sampson sighed. “Maybe you’re right, but it’s the only way I know to deal with that sort. Come on, Dev’s gotta be done pretty soon. Let’s head towards the bridge.”
The two began to stroll slowly down the road, each thinking their own thoughts. Faniel broke the silence while the afternoon sun began to sink lower. “Sampson? Do you think it was right to take their stuff? Doesn’t that just make us bandits?” Sampson frowned. He wasn’t used to thinking this much. “They were going to rob us. Surely it’s only fair.” Faniel considered that. “Still, you’re taking property at the point of a sword. We probably should have just let them go.” “Maybe where you come from, that might make sense. Here, it doesn’t.” “May I see that knife-thing?” Faniel asked. “I guess you’re right. I don’t really know this world well enough.” “The dagger? Do you know how to use it?” the man asked the angel as he handed her the blade he’d taken from the bandit.
“I… think I do. Not that I’ve ever held such things before but I find it attractive. I feel like I know how.” “More Angel magic?” “Silly man, there’s no magic. Only the lord’s will. But yes, I guess it’s magic of a sort,” Faniel smiled, hefting the dagger in her hands. “You can have it. I’m not much good with small weapons anyway.” “Hmm… can you also give me that… belt thing?” “Sure!”
Soon the Angel had the bandit’s bandolier across her chest. “So? How do I look?” “Umm…” stammered Sampson.
“You look awesome Faniel! Well, looks like somebody’s been busy!” Devilah laughed as she returned. “We met some friends,” Sampson said, hugging his lover happily. Faniel answered her quizzical look with a sad one of her own. “Bandits. Three of them. Sampson took care of it though. He had to kill one.” Devilah looked worriedly at Sampson, but he reassured her, “You should know better than to worry about me Dev.”
“And how did your snack go?” “Sampson, we both know you don’t want to know. But he was pretty poor honestly. I think I have enough for a night’s stay and some dinner.” Sampson smiled and tossed her a pouch. “Will this help?” “Whoa!” Devilah said as she caught the bag. “Nice! Looks like you two did better than me! This should do for quite a while. Mind if I hold it Sampson?” “Not at all. Come on, let’s get on to Ivarstead.”
The three strode towards the town, eliciting the stares of the locals as night began to fall. Unexpectedly, it seemed that Faniel’s wings caused more of a stir than her lack of clothing. A pair of guards came up to them as they were crossing the bridge into the town proper. “What brings you to Ivarstead, stranger?” one of them said to Sampson, but it was Devilah that responded. “We’re climbing the mountain tomorrow. We’re just here to stay the night.” “No trouble then?” “No trouble intended. Though some of your local bandits found out differently back there a few miles.”
“Bandits? What did they look like?” “A Nord, and Imperial and an Orc I’m told. My friend here had to take the head of the Orc.” The two guards looked at each other. “Osbard’s band. Good job if you killed that Orc. Mean son-of-a-bitch.” “You know them?” “Just from travelers’ tales. They stay out of town. Maybe Osbard will go elsewhere if you killed off his muscle. Tell Wilhelm at the Inn. I expect he’ll spot you a room.”
“I will. Thanks,” Devilah said. “Where’s the Inn?” “Just there, on the left. No trouble, right?” “No trouble,” Devilah assured him and they continued on. “Hey…” the other guard said in a low voice to Sampson as he passed. “Sampson’s the name. What is it?” “Just… nice companions you got there! But the bird’s going to need some clothes. It gets damned cold up the mountain.”
“Thanks. But I suspect she won’t need them anyway.” Then Sampson looked back at his lover as her tail swished back and forth as she walked on. “Afraid the Angel’s off limits, but… how do you feel about tails?” “That gorgeous cat? Man, I’d…” Sampson smiled menacingly. “Shut it. But if you drop by the Inn later, talk to her. Just tell her I sent her a snack.”
“A snack? Look Sampson, I’m not out to get into any trouble!” the guard said, a worried tone in his voice. “Oh, no trouble at all. Bring your friend if he’s into fur. Trust me, you’ll thank me later.” The guard looked to his companion who nodded vigorously. “You sure?” “I’m sure. She rather likes men in uniform.”

The Quest for the Holy Dildo #4

“So, have you thought about who will be your maid-of-honor?” Cheetah asked. “I have. But honestly I’m scared I will offend you guys. That’s why I really wanted to come here. I want all of you there to be my bridesmaids of course.” Kitty spoke up then, “Red, there’s no way some of us won’t feel a little pissed. But this is your day. We’ll get over it.”
“Well, Cheetah, you know I’ve known you the least, so I don’t think you’ll be offended if I don’t choose you. But Udaran and Ubergard, I’ve known you both for so long you’re like sisters to me. And Kitty, you’ve been the best friend, not to mention the most generous, I could ever have too! It has to be one of you three. I’ve thought about this for a long time, and even though it might be awkward… Ubergard, I’d like you to be my maid-of-honor.” “ Me?” Ubergard said as the others cheered for her. “ME?” she repeated. “Why me?” “Ubergard, you’ve been like a rock for all of us. Always there when we needed you, never complaining. It was knowing what K’rris could offer you in happiness that really made me want to help, even if I did screw that up a bit.” “Muz-Ra,” the Argonian stammered. “I… don’t know what to say. Thank you!”
“Oh, about that… what do you have in mind for us to wear? We’ve not got much time if you’re really going to get married on Saturday!” Kitty asked. “I’ve got it all worked out with the Jarl’s seamstress. The Jarl and I talked about this and… um… what do you think about wearing something see-through?” “Sexy bridesmaids? For a wedding?!” Kitty asked. “Well… yeah! What can I say? It turns out the Jarl is almost as much of a pervert as I am!” “HOW see-through?” asked Udaran warily. “Well… very… yeah…” “Oh, what the hell,” Udaran conceded, “If it’s what you want. What will you be wearing?”
“Nothing.” “Nothing?” “Nothing. After my horse-ride through town, it’s practically expected.” K’rris looked worried. “I almost hate to ask but… the groom and I?”
“Oh, we have something special in mind. Don’t worry, you’ll be covered. Sort of.” K’rris leaned back against Ubergard and sighed, “I guess I’d better wear some snug underwear anyway or I’ll be standing out like a tent pole!” Muz-Ra smiled evilly – “Now you get the idea! Jarlyhorse gets to look at all us girls’ boobs, I get to see all the erections. A Win-Win!” Udaran laughed and turned to Cheetah, “Win, Win, WIN!”
Meanwhile, far away to the southeast… “Well, what have we here?” came a voice from behind Faniel and Sampson unexpectedly. Sampson leapt to his feet, his sword flashing out as two large men and an Orc stepped into view on three sides, obviously bandits. “Oh, put that away,” threatened one of the men, obviously the leader. “You might hurt yourself. You’re clearly no warrior, you’ve not even any armor! Why don’t you just lend us your wench for a little bit?” “Wench?” Sampson looked at Faniel, who could only shrug.
“Sure. We’ll just break her in for you. Well, her and any gold you might have, of course. That sword looks nice too.” the leader continued. “Wings? Croaker, she has wings !” said third bandit, having gained a clearer view of Faniel. “An Angel!” the Osimer laughed crudely. “I’ve never fucked an Angel before! Let me fuck her first boss!”
“No way!” laughed the third man. “She’ll be loose as an Imperial whore!” Sampson stepped in front of his friend. “No one’s fucking anyone here today.” “Oh! And who’s going to stop me? You, little man?” the Orc scowled, drawing his battleaxe. Sampson swung around to face the Orc.
“Wait! Sampson, STOP!” Faniel cried as Sampson and the Orc sized each other up. “You stay out of this,” Sampson said over his shoulder. “ NO! You don’t have to fight him Sampson! He can’t touch me.” But before she could say anything more, the two were in battle.
The orc came charging at Sampson in a rage, his axe cutting a vicious arc that only the stoutest of shields could have withstood. Sampson was clad only in the rags he had pilfered from their cabin the night before and had no hope of stopping it. Instead, he crouched low. The orc smiled and angled his blade downward, too low to duck.
Faniel screamed as the blade completed it’s arc, but Sampson had leaped well over the blade. The orc was surprised to feel no body to stop his weapon. A few seconds later, he was more surprised to see his body continuing in it’s rush without him. As the realization dawned that he no longer was attached to the body he was watching as he fell rolling into the ground, he rather wished he hadn’t seen the Angel in the first place, and hoped that maybe he’d see a lot more very, very soon.
Faniel screamed for Sampson to stop, looking in horror at the lifeless body in front of her, but he was beyond the Orc and upon the leader of the small group of bandits before the Orc’s head stopped rolling.