The Quest for the Holy Dildo #25

Author’s note: I managed to squeeze in just a little more porny porn porn in one last time. The original plan for this was going to be somewhat tamer, but my mouse slipped and the kitties got a little out of hand. Although Muz-Ra and the Jarl had retired, it was much later after many a toast had been made that Faniel spoke in a low voice to Devilah. “And now, Devilah, I think they might just be drunk enough. Excuse me, but I need to bestow a gift on someone. Someone who sorely deserves it.” and she stepped away from the succubus towards a cluster of girls that had congregated in a corner, some dressed in the transparent bridesmaids gowns and some others.
“…it wasn’t even his cock!” Cheetah was concluding to a boisterous round of laughter. “Girls,” Faniel announced. “Might I make a suggestion?” The group turned to look at the angel, most with the unfocused but shining eyes of the inebriated. Kitty took up the leadership role. “What… um… Suggestun Faniel?” “Well, look… I’m naked here. Most of you girls are naked for all intents and purposes. Why don’t we make this a real party. Get ‘wild’ if you take my meaning. In short, let’s get naked!”
“YEAH! GET NAKED!” Udaran and Cheetah were the first to climb out of their clothes. Soon they even got Bhusaran to get ‘wild’. But of course one of their number remained staunchly clothed. Faniel stepped away from the noisy women and looked down at the little Argonian questioningly. “Oh, it’s okay,” she said. “I don’t mind.”
“Blue,” said Faniel in a voice that demanded attention. “If you want to, why don’t you take off your clothes?” “You don’t understand, Faniel. I… I can’t. Really, I don’t mind.” “Blue. Your scars are gone. They were never your shame to carry anyway. The person who gave them to you has now been given them back.”
“It’s not that I’m shy, Faniel! Really I’m not. I’d love to party with the other girls. But I don’t… look like the rest of you underneath.” “Blue. You’re not listening to me. Your Scars Are Gone.” The Argonian looked directly at the Angel who held her eyes intensely. “But…”
“Have faith Blue. They are gone. Let everyone see. You have no scars. You have nothing to be ashamed of.” Blue closed her eyes and put her hands on the zipper of her bodysuit. “No. Blue… Look at me. Look at my eyes. I know your scars are gone. Let my faith be yours. They are gone.”
The zipper slowly came down. It did not stop until her entire back was exposed. Then Blue stepped out of her bodysuit and stood naked in front of all her friends. For just a moment, she closed her eyes and a gasp came from the people who were watching as if they saw something horrible to behold. But the Argonian denied it. “ NO!” she said firmly. I have faith. I have nothing to be ashamed of. The scars are gone.“ And she opened her eyes again to look into the smiling face of the angel. And when she looked down at herself, there were no scars. Only her friends, who soon were hugging her and resumed their chanting, "NAKED! NAKED! NAKED!”
“Blue!” Kitty said. You’re beautiful! “Oh, you’re just saying that. But… I kinda am, aren’t I?” “You certainly are!” Bhusaran said, coming up behind the laughing Argonian.“ "Um… Bhusaran… You can let go of my boobs now.”
“Aww, do I have to?” Bhusaran chuckled. “They’re really nice boobs!” “Well, alright! But somebody better bring me a drink, and fast!”
Faniel stepped back away, satisfied at the outcome. Devilah came up to her then. “That got a bit more sexual than I was expecting, Dev. Did you…?” “Oh, maybe I helped a little. Not that they needed much of my touch. With so much repressed sexuality among them, the alcohol probably would have done the same anyway.” Then a voice spoke from her other side that Faniel hadn’t heard before. “Was that a miracle?” said the male Khajiit. “And you are?” “Around here they call me H.” “Ah. The owner of the Tails. A pleasure to meet you. And is that you’re real name?”
“No. But I’m a liar. How about you? Was that a miracle just now? Did you really cure Blue’s scars?” “Some would say she had no scars. Argonians shed their skin regularly you know. Others would say her scars were just those in her mind, H. Still others might say the scars are still there, but no one sees them anymore, because she doesn’t see them..” “Ah. I see. Then you are a liar too?” “No H. I am an angel. And that was a miracle.”

The Quest for the Holy Dildo #24

With that, the three walked back down the dias and the wedding party resumed their places while Devilah explained the situation to Faniel and Sampson.

In short order, the ceremony was properly concluded and the guests sat down to a feast at the tables while the Jarl and Muz-Ra danced.

“So, you know this Queen?” Sampson asked Devilah.

“Of course! You do too, though in her current non-existent outfit I understand you may not recognize her. She gave us chocolate chip cookies. Remember?”

“
Her? From Castle Kitty?”

“Yes, that’s Red!”

“Is the Black Kat here too?” Sampson asked, scanning the guests rapidly.

“I’m sure she is, but I explained to you about her didn’t I? She’s not and never has been an assassin.”

“I know, I know. I feel I should apologize to her though.”

“Well then, there she is, over talking to that bard.”

“Her? She looks so different without…”

“Without clothes to speak of? Yes Sampson, we all do. Come on, let’s go talk to her.”

“Shall I just stay here?” Faniel asked, not sure of the proper social conventions at a formal celebration like this.

“No! Come with us. We’ll introduce you. Besides, you’re the only one of us who is dressed appropriately!”

When Kitty saw the three approaching, she backed off defensively and Mikael stood in front of her.

“It’s alright Kitty, Sampson knows the truth now. He’s not going to try to kill you again,” Devilah said, trying to calm the nervous khajiit.

“Promise?”

“Cross my heart.”

“I… wanted to apologize in fact,” Sampson said. “I am sorry, I was wrong. Badly wrong.”

“Well next time get your facts straight buddy!” Mikael said, poking the Hero in the chest. But Sampson didn’t flinch or turn aggressive.

“Oh, leave him be Mikael. He said he’s sorry.”

“Sorry to have almost killed you? That’s a lot to apologize for!”

“But he didn’t. We’re friends now, right Sampson?” the little Khajiit asked, stepping forwardly if still a bit timidly. This was, after all, the man who had bested Ubergard. If Mikael really knew who he was poking in the chest, he probably would rethink that action. Mikael was a good man, but he was no warrior.

The Hero looked at the Khajiit. “Yes. Friends. Speaking of which, we have a new friend we’d like to introduce you to. This is the Angel Faniel.”

“Glad to meet you… Kitty is it?”

Kitty looked at the angel, somewhat in awe. “Are those real?” she asked, indicating the wings.

“Sure are. You can touch them if you’d like. I don’t mind.”

After that, the three were accepted into Muz-Ra’s half of the wedding party and were introduced to the others as well, and the three soon felt comfortable enough to enjoy the party.

Sampson and Devilah even got a chance to dance once she’d pulled him away from Ubergard and K’rris, who seemed to be fascinated with his description of various martial adventures. For her part, Faniel was a hit among the others, though she seemed particularly interested in Blue.

Yet even hours later the three barely had managed time to talk to Muz-Ra at all and Devilah was beginning to get bothered by the delay.

Finally Muz-Ra broke away from her husband for just a few minutes.

“Oh there you are Devilah! Where’s Sampson?”

“He’s over talking martial arts with that big blue Argonian. We came in hear to get away from the noise. Lydia here has been telling us stories of your Jarl!”

Lydia sighed, “Well at least I’m away from all those men who can’t seem to focus above my nipples!”

“You’re telling me,” Muz-Ra agreed. “No problem just as long as you don’t tell stories about me! Hey, did you see H and Bhusaran, Blue? I think there’s something going on there.”

Blue laughed, “It’s about time!”

Muz-Ra nodded agreement, “I think he finally saw her as more than just a business partner when he saw her in that dress!”

The naked Argonian’s face turned contrite then as she turned to the winged pair. “I’m so sorry Devilah, Faniel. It’s a lot more work getting married than I expected. I PROMISE we’ll talk in the morning. I’ll make sure you have the finest room in Dragonsreach. But my husband… he wants me… Honeymoon and all you know?

"But…” Devilah began, but before she could say anything more Faniel interrupted her.

“Devilah, this quest is my quest. It can wait one more day. Let the groom bed his bride.”

“Thank you Faniel. I’ll see you all in the morning. But I’m afraid the party will go on for quite some time yet. Make yourselves comfortable. Irileth will show you to your rooms when you’re ready.”

“We will see you in the morning, Queen Muz-Ra. Have a nice fuck,” Faniel called as she turned to leave.

“Thank you, Faniel!” Muz-Ra laughed, looking back over her shoulder. “I absolutely will!”

After Muz-Ra had left the room, the other three looked at Faniel in silence.

“What?” said the angel, puzzled by their stares. “That’s what they
do, isn’t it?”

The Quest for the Holy Dildo #23

The doors at the end of the hall swung open as three figures stepped within. In the lead was a man, not overlarge but heavily muscled brandishing a greatsword which Muz-Ra was relieved to notice was unstained. Behind him was what appeared to be a Khajiit, dressed in a a shockingly red outfit, yet no Khajiit posessed the demonic wings that now spread wide. Yet these two she recognized immediately, but the third was unlike anything she had ever seen before, and had only heard of vaguely in old mythic tales. But it could be nothing else. An angel had stepped into Dragonsreach. Ubergard positioned herself in front of Muz-Ra who had rushed towards them along with the Jarl and Irileth, Uber’s blade at the ready while guards closed in on the trio from both sides. “HOLD!” Shouted the Jarl. “What is this? Who are you that would break the sanctity of this ritual?”
The angel stepped forward, her companions facing the guards who kept their weapons drawn. “Jarl of Whiterun. We are here on a quest. You have something that belongs to us,” the angel said in a clear voice that all could hear. “It is not our wish to intrude on your ceremony, but we have come far in our quest and we were disappointed when we were turned away by your guards. I also believe you will have reason to be thankful for our interruption when this is concluded.”
“Devilah? Sampson? What are you doing here?” Muz-Ra called, suddenly recognizing them. Devilah looked back at her more closely. “You’re… Red right? Is this your wedding?”
“Don’t I look like a bride?” Muz-Ra asked, nodding to the Jarl. Devilah laughed. “You do! On your honeymoon!”
“Red? Do you know these people?” the Jarl demanded. “Of course I do! He is Sampson, a hero of some renown. You remember, he wiped out the Assassin’s guild! And this is Devilah, his companion.” “She has the aspect of a demon. Are you quite certain they are friends of yours?” “Well, she’s a succubus, yes. But she’s a friend. We shared cookies!”
The guards put their weapons a way and looked to the Jarl for instructions. “And the angel?” the Jarl asked. “I don’t know her,” Muz-Ra confessed. “This is the Angel Faniel. She’s a friend,” Devilah announced. “If you can trust me, you can certainly trust her.”
“Come forward then and join our celebration,” the Jarl said. “Muz-Ra, you are my queen now. You have my confidence in all things. Please, take the throne and let’s figure out what this is all about.” “My lord,” Irileth whispered hastily to the Jarl. “The throne?” But the Jarl shot her a glare that could melt iron. “She is my wife and your queen now Irileth. She has full right to take the throne. Would you deny it?” “No my lord!” Irileth said, backing off.
Muz-Ra thanked her husband with a smile and sat upon the Throne of Whiterun for the first time. “Well, it is the first time,” she thought. “That other time I wasn’t precisely sitting on it. More like bouncing off it.” The three interlopers stepped up towards her, while the Jarl stood beside her proudly.
“Now then,” Muz-Ra said, sitting on throne as if born to it and leaning forward.. “What can the Jarl and I do for you?” “Thank you, Red,” Devilah began, taking the lead since she knew Muz-Ra best of the three..
“That’s Queen Muz-Ra, demon!” Irileth corrected. The Jarl nodded to her in agreement. “I’m not exactly a demon anymore. But sorry, thank you QUEEN Muz-Ra. We have come a long, long way seeking something that our friend, the angel Faniel, has lost. We have reason to believe it is here, in this place.”
“Devilah,” Muz-Ra began in a quiet voice, “we’d barely managed to keep Sampson from killing Kitty outright last time. Now you come barging into my wedding? Please, show some patience. Let us get on with this ceremony. You can be my guests. But let us finish this first. Please?”
Devilah saw the sense in what she said. “I’m sorry. It’s been a long journey and it’s hard to be so close to the end. But you’re right of course. Thank you, Queen Muz-Ra. But please don’t forget about us. Besides, I’m dying to hear how you went from being a cook in Kitty’s castle to being the Jarl’s bride!”
At that, Muz-Ra couldn’t help laughing. She stood up from the throne, looked to the Jarl, who nodded his acquiescence to her wishes,and made an announcement.
“Lords and ladies, friends and family. You have all been so welcoming to my fellow Argonians and Khajiits that this wedding has come to fruition at last between my love, the Jarl of Whiterun and myself – a humble, if admittedly lusty, Argonian. Now I ask you to show the same for these newfound guests of mine.
They too take unusual forms, but they are also my friends. Here is the Angel Faniel, the Succubus (reformed) Devilah and the Hero Sampson. It is a great honor to host them here at our wedding!”

The Quest for the Holy Dildo #22

The wedding was, of course, no surprise to the residents of Whiterun. And it surprised no one much to see the procession wind it’s way through the streets of Whiterun and towards the Jarl’s palace of Dragonsreach led by the naked Argonian woman and followed by her bridesmaids in barely less revealing attire. They parted for the group effortlessly, and even the more bawdy residents withstrained their admiration for the display of the scaled and furred females to only occasional whoops and catcalls. Finally they reached the entrance to Dragonsreach itself whereupon Muz-Ra greeted the Jarl’s personal housecarl, Irileth at the door. “What’s that she’s not wearing?” Cheetah whispered to Udaran when they came in sight of Irileth at the door to the great palace of Whiterun. “I think it’s a Muz-Ra designed kilt,” Udaran whispered back, giggling somewhat.
“No beheadings today?” asked the Argonian with a smile. “None today my Lady, unless you request it!” “What do you think of the kilt?” Irileth looked down at herself, her breasts basically naked for the world to see. "A bit breezy my lady.“
"Well, you’ve got to let the puppies out to breath every once in a while! Shall we get this party started?” Irileth laughed, a strange sound to those who knew her but one Muz-Ra had heard at least once before. “Let’s!” she said and the group entered the Keep to fanfare from hidden trumpeters on the walls.
Irileth proclaimed their arrival as the group waited for a signal and Irileth proceeded towards the throne and stood to the Jarl’s right while another man dressed in preistly robes stood to his left. Though Muz-Ra hadn’t met him, she assumed this must be the priest of Mara from Riften: a man named Maramal. The fanfare began again as the friends climbed the steps and those dignitaries and friends of the Jarl bowed at their entrance. She saw H standing to one side and recognized another figure she did not expect with them as well.
“Blue!” she cried and started towards her old friend, but Blue herself shushed her and pointed back towards the Jarl. “Oh, sorry. Later!” she whispered and looked back at her future husband who only smiled and shook his head, to which she responded with a shrug that said “Sorry!”.
She felt her friends behind her step to one side as she neared the last steps up to where the Jarl waited. All eyes were now on her and the Jarl who took her hand and stood beside her. Irileth stood behind him and the giant Argonian, Ubergard, took her place slightly behind and to Muz-Ra’s right. The crowd quieted as the preist of Mara stood in front of them, holding his hands up and beginning the ritual.
“It was Mara that first gave birth to all of creation,” the priest began. Muz-Ra realized she could barely concentrate on his words however as an unaccustomed feeling of nervousness set in and she feared she might faint. She had been married before, but that was a long time ago. But then she felt the warm hand of the Jarl enclose her and she turned to look at him. No, not the Jarl – her Jarl. Her jarlyhorse. Her love. The nervousness quickly fled as she looked into his eyes, and he into hers. And then the room was hushed as the time came to say the words. With a strong voice, Muz-Ra followed her beloved’s declaration with her own… “I do. Now and forever!”
“Under the authority of Mara, the Divine of Love, I declare this couple to be wed. I present to you these matching rings, blessed by Mara’s divine grace. May they protect each of you in your new life together.” At these words, the crowd began to cheer, but Muz-Ra could hear nothing. She felt only the Jarl’s strong hands take her head in his hands and kiss her, human fashion. She tried her best to respond in kind and also gave him the traditional Argonian sign of affection – a nuzzle under his chin.
Then they turned around to face their guests, who continued to cheer and clap as the Jarl drew her beside him and she looked up to see him with what may have been a tear of his own on the otherwise gruff face.
And then all hell broke loose.

The Quest for the Holy Dildo #21

The big day had finally arrived in Whiterun. Though the Jarl had made clear to everyone his intent to keep the wedding low-key, it was all Muz-Ra could do to keep the well-wishers at bay. She had stayed with her friends the previous two nights in the room at the Bannered Mare, where they had treated her to a bachelorette party that was as bawdy as she was. Fortunately it had been a private party and the things that went on there were well kept secrets by all her friends and the employees as well as the male “entertainers” that had been hired. But that was night before last. Last night the tavern had reopened to the public and she had retired at a reasonable hour with her closest friends, Ubergard and Kitty, who were with her now as she got ready for her wedding to the Jarl.
“For a low-key wedding, you know you’re going to make a hell of an entrance!” Kitty said as she adjusted her transparent dress for the millionth time. “I know. But this is what should have happened all those months ago. Besides, the citizens sort of expect it from me now. They get to see their future queen in-the-buff one last time. I can’t deny them that!” “Who do you think you’re fooling?” Ubergard asked, looking down at herself. “You get off strolling around in public naked as the day you were hatched! Did it ever occur to you that some people have this thing called modesty?”
“Oh, please Uber,” Kitty interjected. “For the last time… shut it. Either wear it or don’t go. You volunteered for this, remember? Where’s that Warrior’s Spirit I hear you and K’rris talking about all the time?” Ubergard looked surprisingly pitiable. “But… I’m totally exposed in this! I might as well be as naked as Red.” “Hey! At least your puppies are held down and won’t bounce around and hit you in the snout!” Kitty suddenly looked up. “Wait! I have an idea. Just a second…”
She went out to the balcony and came back in with Ubergard’s massive weapon, Virgindruung. “Here. Wear this!” The giant Argonian smiled and closed her eyes at it’s comforting weight. “Better?” Kitty asked.
“Much better. Is it okay if I wear this at least Red?” “Sure! Not going to stop people from looking at your boobs though,” Muz-Ra smiled. Ubergard looked at Muz-Ra with eyes sparkling, “No, but it will sure as hell stop anyone from staring at them for too long.”
“Hey!” Muz-Ra warned. “No killing the spectators!” Kitty sat back on the bed and was joined by the other two. “So Red, how are you feeling? Nervous?” “About parading naked through the town again? Not a chance.” “No, about marrying the Jarl?” “Oh… that. Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I don’t know why I should be. I’ve been married before you know.”
“I’ve heard you say that. You don’t talk about it much though.” “Naa. It didn’t work out. It was my fault though. We still keep in touch sometimes. He’s working up around Solitude now somewhere. But he needed someone more stable than me. You may not believe it, but I was pretty wild in my youth.” “Who would have believed it?” Ubergard snorted.
A familiar voice called from below. “We’re all ready Red!” Muz-Ra looked to Kitty desperately for a second. “Don’t think about the wedding for now, Red. Just think about strutting your naked body in front of all those strangers.” The Argonian closed her eyes for a moment, then re-opened them with a large, toothy grin. “That is better! I bet some of the men will start jerking it the minute they see me!” “Sure they will! Women will be rubbing themselves against any nearby pole.”
Muz-Ra stood, puffed out her already ample chest, and headed out of the room with only the traditional Amulet of Mara for clothing. “Mustn’t keep my public waiting!” she called and confidently strode down the stairs to where the rest of her bridesmaids were waiting. Kitty noticed Bhusaran kept her traditional white boots on. “Glad you could make it Bhusaran! Can I assume H will be at Dragonsreach?” “He wouldn’t miss it for the world, Red. I hope you don’t mind the boots. They’re my security blanket.” “No problem! Well… Ladies?” she called with the confidence of a wartime General. “Let ‘em have it!”
“Cheetah? What’s wrong with Udaran? She looks a little… wobbly,” Kitty asked. Cheetah looked at her lover affectionately. “It took a little lubrication to get her into the dress. Alcoholic lubrication that is… Maybe a little too much.” “Nobody can see me!” Udaran half-whispered to Kitty, the smell of drink heavy around her. “…all looking at Red. You can’t see me can you?” “Not at all,Udie,” Kitty assured her. “You’re practically invisible.”