The Quest for the Holy Dildo #15

A roar came from the huge dragon that knocked Devilah back into Sampson’s chest and he held her for support. “I have not left my mountain for hundreds of years, other-worlder! I am Paarthurnax! You wan’t to ride me like some common horse?!!!” “Faniel.” “WHAT!?” the outraged dragon bellowed. “My name is Faniel, and you needn’t get so upset. A simple ‘no’ would do just fine,” Faniel stated coldly and started walking away.
“Faniel… Wait a moment.” The head of the dragon lowered until it appeared to be no more than a foot away from the Angel. He sniffed, but Faniel didn’t budge and barely bothered to turn around. “What?” she asked with obvious disdain.
“You smell of power and confidence. And something else. Can I call you ‘Fanny’?” The Angel considered this for a little bit. “You know, where I come from that word means means ‘butt’”. “I use it only as a familiarity, as you use Parthy. Besides, you have an excellent butt.” “That is true… Okay. To you alone,” she said, smiling back at her friends, “I will be Fanny.”
“I am sorry for my outburst. I’ve been alone up here with only those old men for company for far too long. I have become… cranky. Fanny, you may climb aboard my back. Keep your wings furled. The wind would whisk you off in an instant if you open them.” “Thank you, Parthy!” she said, turning around and hugging the massive neck. Then she turned back to Sampson and Devilah. “I’ll be back in a little while guys! But I’m not sure how long we’ll be gone so if it gets late, go back to Hrothgar without me!” she called as she climbed atop the dragon.
With a WHOOSH of air, the dragon was aloft and fell over the side of the mountain, lost to sight temporarily before it swung back into view far below. Devilah and Sampson watched for a long time as it sailed ever-farther away. But they were able to track its flight and never completely lost sight of it as it flew one direction, then changed and flew another, seeming to cover a rough grid pattern over the land below it. But the dragon, though far away, was obviously maintaining a fair height and likely would not be noticed by any but the most perceptive on the lands below.
“He’s not really going that far away, is he?” Devilah asked. “No. Do you see that little city down there?” “I see it. He seems to be staying somewhere near there. I bet the dildo is there somewhere.” Sampson nodded. “But there’s also something a bit farther off that he seems to be interested in too.” “You mean ‘she’. Faniel’s directing him. She must sense something there too.”
“Look there. It looks like they’re turning back,” Sampson observed. “It will take quite a while for them to get back up to this height. He’s circling for lift apparently.” Sampson turned to face his lover. “What are you suggesting?” “How high would you say we are roughly?” the Succubus smiled a toothy grin.
“I dunno. High! Above most of the clouds anyway.” “How many people do you think have made love at this height?” “Devilah! A better question would be, how many people have made love at this temperature!”
“Oh, I guess you’re right. I keep forgetting how much the temperature bothers you. Besides, we have another performance tonight.” “I… could lick you though.” “Oh? Right here. Right out in front of the great Paarthurnax’s lair? You would lick my pussy right here?” The hero caught her tone. She was getting into it.
Soon her legs were keeping his ears warm as she bucked to her own peak. Finally she shifted to move his tongue into her as she took over stimulation of her clitoris manually while he tried his best to keep up with her out-of-control hips.
The echoes of her orgasmic scream had finally died away when he got to his knees, feeling himself straining hard against his pants as she calmed down and looked at him. “I…” she struggled to say as he laughed at her. “I… am the very first… member of the… Mile High Club!”
“You are indeed, my love – whatever that is,” He said, hugging her to him. “Oh! You smell like me!” “I’m sorry!” “Oh, don’t be! I like the smell of me on you!”

The Quest for the Holy Dildo #14

In the end, it was little trouble convincing the Greybeards to take part in Devilah’s ‘show’. The feeble protests they mounted were easily countered when Faniel reminded them that they had lied point-blank to an Angel. “Besides,” she added as a capstone to her argument, “what profit is it to spill your seed upon the dusky ground like the heathen? You’re going to do it anyway. It might as well go to a good cause! Now get over your embarrassment and do something worthwhile with your fading sexuality for once!” Even Arngeir could put up no argument and they agreed to do their duty for Devilah that evening.
After Sampson’s fourth ejaculation landed squarely on Devilah’s ass and dribbled between her cheeks, he collapsed and flopped over, breathing heavily. True to her word, he had completely forgotten about the small crowd that had been watching. As he lay panting, she gave him a smile when he opened his eyes but still displaying her rump to any remaining spectators. “Great job!” she assured him. “I think we got all we’re going to get out of them tonight.” “Them and me! I’m drained Dev!”
In fact, only one die-hard remained besides Faniel in the audience, and Devilah was not surprised to see it was her friend Borri who was just tucking his member back under his robe after making his own deposit for her. However, now that he had his hands free, he joined Faniel in a round of applause. “You the last one left Borri?” Devilah asked, getting up and looking around. He nodded. “Apparently the others just haven’t got my stamina!”
She took his container and looked at it appreciatively. “Nice job Borri!” “Well, your performance was very inspirational. I don’t think any of us are going to need much inspiration beyond our memory of tonight to keep your supplies up for quite some time!” “But just to be sure, we’ll do it again tomorrow night before we leave for good.” “I just hope I can contribute half as much! Goodnight Devilah. We will all sleep well tonight!” he said as he walked from the room. “Faniel, what did you think?”
In fact, the show might not have happened at all had Faniel not ‘suggested’ the Greybeards could consider this a penance for their failed vow before. In their eyes, however, her word was their command and all had attended without complaint. Once the show had really gotten underway though, they needed no further incentive beyond that presented by Devilah and Sampson directly. “Devilah, you are an artist… and a contortionist!” Her lips pulled back to reveal her fangs in a proud smile, Devilah thanked the Angel for the complement. “I… do try!” “I don’t mind telling you I am turned on big-time Devilah. Your skills are appreciated not only by the Greybeards. I now understand the purpose of a dildo!” “If… if you want, Faniel. We could… you know. I’m sure Sampson would be okay with it.” Sampson nodded his assent, but Faniel cut her short. “I know you would Devilah. But no… I can handle my own needs. Don’t think I don’t want to. But… an Angel’s passion is a dangerous thing, even for you. No, you and Sampson go have a good night. I’ll take care of myself. But thank you for the offer. Really. Were I a human, I promise you I’d ride your face like a horse right now!”
“And I promise the pleasure would be all mine, Faniel. I’d love to taste an Angel! But if not, good night then.” “Have a good night, both of you. I’ll be along soon. Now take your poor lover to bed. He’s exhausted!” With that, Devilah and Sampson left Faniel. “I bet you’d love to taste me, Devilah. Only I’m afraid you’d then be addicted to two tastes,” Devilah thought. She looked up then, no longer able to stop from touching herself. “I wonder sometimes if maybe you made this instinct too strong,” she said aloud to her maker. Though a few minutes later, as she sat panting with eyes closed and rubbing herself down from her own climax, she moaned, “Nevermind. Nothing this good should be changed one iota. Forgive one who should know better by now.” Then she left to her own bed.
A robed figure finally stepped into the light and crossed silently over to where Faniel had released her own desire minutes before. He looked around as if to verify he was alone, then reached out a hesitant finger to touch the wet floor there. He brought the finger up and sniffed it hesitantly. The fragrance was nothing remotely earthy. He could not truly describe it, but it brought visions of wide, wild meadows to his mind. A smile grew on the face underneath the cowl as he inhaled deeply, his instinct somehow rekindled regardless of his age or how much he had left to the Succubus during the show. The figure then touched the finger to his tongue. And he was instantly lost.
The next morning dawned clear and cold, as most all days were in High Hrothgar. Faniel, Devilah and Sampson left Arngeir to follow the trail he had pointed out that led to the peak of the mountain and Paarthurnax after a quick breakfast. Devilah and Faniel both stood out incongruously in their meager and non-existent clothing upon the mountain, but neither had any problem with the cold while Sampson held his fur armor close around him.
The climb had been uneventful but arduous as the wind seemed to fight their every step. Finally, as they turned a corner, the howling wind died away and they stood before a wide open area. Before them, there could be no mistaking the looming form in front of them as the Dragon Paarthurnax. Even Devilah was intimidated by its size as Sampson and her walked forward. Faniel didn’t hesitate though and strode up to the dragon without a pause.
“Hi dragon!,” she said cheerfully. “Are you Paarthurnax?” “Oh! You’re no Dragonborn! What are you? You have the body of a human and the wings of a large bird. Yet I sense you mean no harm. Come closer. Let me see you more clearly.” “I am not of this world, Parthy. Do you mind if I call you Parthy?” The dragon stretched his wings. “Aren’t I a bit large for such a small name?” Faniel shrugged and continued to look at the dragon expectantly.
The dragon looked at the other two menacingly. “You may call me ‘Parthy’, otherworlder. These two may call me ‘Paarthurnax’. Or Death. Whichever they prefer.” “Oh, now. They’re my friends. Be nice. They came a long way to help me.” The dragon’s face softened perhaps. “The Greybeards let you up to see me, yet you are not Dragonborn. This is an event unprecedented in living memory. What brings you here to me?” “I’m looking for something. I won’t bore you with details, but it’s something I’ve lost but I need it to get home. I was hoping I could see it from up here.”
You must have very good eyes! So, have you found it?“ "No. I know it’s that way…” Faniel said, gesturing somewhat northwesterly. So I have a better idea than I did before. But I can’t tell how far away it is. I thought maybe you could help me!“ A note of incredulity crept into the dragon’s voice. "Help you how? I hope you don’t mean…” “Just a little ride,” Faniel cajoled the Dragon, sitting on one wing while his massive head swung around to look at her. “You could fly me around down that way in minutes what would take us days to walk. And I could figure out where it is a lot easier at your speeds. Surely a Dragon as great as you would have no problem. I’m very light you know! Please Parthy, could you take me for a ride?”

The Quest for the Holy Dildo #13

Meanwhile, in another room, Devilah was talking to Borri after having just finished a snack. “Quite a collection of Tails you have stashed under there! You like both Argonians and Khajiits then I presume?” “Oh, yes. I’m afraid it’s a fetish of mine. It’s part of what drove me to being a Greybeard in the first place. My particular taste wasn’t very well thought of where I’m from. Honestly you’re the first Khajiit… well…” “It’s okay. If you met a true Khajiit, you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between us easily. But I do thank you for not touching me physically. I’m… trying to do better myself. Sampson is doing his best to let me be me, but I know it hurts him somewhere inside. It’s nice to be able to help you out with just… well. Modelling shall we call it?” “Devilah, I speak nothing but the truth when I tell you that was the most incredible 10 minutes of my life!” The Succubus smiled back, licking her lips. “Let’s just say it was my pleasure and leave it at that.”
“Now that I can talk to you without being constantly distracted, how can I help you?” Borri said while dressing. “Well, I want to talk to you about self control actually. I can’t live without male ejaculate Borri. But, like we just did, I think I could learn to control my need to touch other men. Just between the two of us, it was all I could do to keep from stuffing you down my throat or up my ass when you were hard.” “But you didn’t, did you?” “No… I knew you didn’t need it to get off. Mostly I just tried not to look at it and concentrate on posing for you.” “Well, even among us ‘normal’ people, it’s not an easy thing to do. But up here we reduce the temptations too. That helps a lot.” “I don’t see how I can do that,” Devilah sighed, sitting beside the Greybeard. “I can barely look at a man without wanting him inside me some way or another.”
“Oh, I understand. Even with my fetish, I can’t help but be tempted just by a pair of boobs, even if they’re all covered up. I find myself imagining what they look like behind the cloth, what they feel like… what they taste like. Up here, that’s not an issue though.” “That’s it exactly! But as long as I can remember, I never even thought of not acting on that desire.” “And males, being what we are, never try to stop you I’m sure. Looking like you do, I doubt your advances get rejected often.” “Well, even if they tried to, I have this ability to… make it even harder to resist. And I’d use it without a thought. I’ve never been rejected, Borri. Never. Except by Sampson, but he was a special case.” “What you need is some way to get what you need without ever having to look at a penis.” “Or testicles. Those are just as bad for me. Hell even a male ass makes me want to…”
“Okay, okay. I get it. But what we did here… you managed not to touch me, even though you could have. Besides thoughts of Sampson, was there anything else than helped you resist? Odd, it feels so strange to think you had to resist me. I assume I wasn’t in some way… repellent to you?” “Oh no Borri! If it weren’t for Sampson, I’d have loved to have you in me! We Succubi… It’s pretty tough for us to acheive orgasm, but we can. I’m sure I would have with you. Let me think… Maybe… Yeah, probably because I knew I’d be getting it soon. I knew you couldn’t last long and that I’d soon have your ejaculate to drink.” “So, your desire is rooted in your need to drink our… stuff?” “Well, drink or otherwise absorb. I take it in externally too for that matter. What can I say? We’re kinda weird.” “No, no… I understand. I read about your kind quite a bit. Well, Succubi in general anyway. My books never mentioned one in Khajiit form. So, you can definitly resist the physical tempatation so long as you have a supply of male semen. But, you get that from Sampson surely.” “I do, but I need more. I don’t know why, but I need it from more than just one man. That’s the heart of my problem. Quantity isn’t so important. But variety is.”
“Wait! I have an idea!” Borri said, standing up suddenly. “What is it? I think I could excercise the self control I need, if only I could get it some other way.” “Now look, this might sound disgusting. But… what if we Greybeards kept our ‘stuff’ and sent it to you?” Devilah considered this a minute. “Borri, it’s not disgusting to me. I know it probably would be for you, but you must realize that to me it’s like the finest wine. It’s what I crave. My deepest fantasy revolves around soaking in a tub full of it while men continue rotating through and keeping the tub full while I wallow in it. But how could that work?” “Well, it’s cold up here you know. We could keep it stored frozen. Then, maybe every week or so, we could send it to you. Do you think that would do? Then you would get your needs filled but would never need to look at any penis but Sampson’s.”
“I… yes… I think that might work! Just one catch…” “What’s that?” “I… don’t think the magic works unless you’re getting off to me. And I couldn’t be here. I’ve never had the experience of drinking it from anyone who didn’t produce it for me, but I have this feeling that it’s kind of necessary for the men to be directing their lust at me. Still, it’s worth a try! And I know how to find out.” “How?” “While we’re up visiting the peak tomorrow, ask one of the others to masturbate something other than me. Not even a thought of me.” Suddenly both looked at his stack of Tails.
“A better idea!” she said, realizing the solution to her last problem was right in front of her. "I need to get a magazine made of me!“ Borri was right with her. "Better get a few copies. And we men… we’re awfully fickle. Last month’s erotic pussy-shot just doesn’t do it for us this month. You’ll need to make more occasionally.” “I even know someone who used to work there. Okay! I’ll get the publisher to do a special edition just for you guys. And I’ll show everything. Maybe even get Sampson in on the action and show him fucking the hell out of me. That’ll get you guys off!” “Um… Devilah… that publisher doesn’t even do full nudes. He’s probably not going to be too keen on doing a full pornographic magazine.” Devilah laughed. “H? Leave him to me. He’s male. I’ll have no problem with him. He’ll probably want to be the photographer. ” She began to pace the floor, thinking. “You think the other Greybeards would do it? I’m not sure if they’re as into the Khajiit form as you are, but if I could get regular donations from all of you, I’d be set!”
“You may not believe it, but we don’t exactly discuss such topics among ourselves. I’ve no idea who else likes Khajiits around here. Until today, I had no idea anyone else even masturbated. I thought I was the only one!” “Well, I’m going to go for it anyway. I owe you for this! Wait… how will I pay you for the donations?” “Pay us? Devilah, you’re asking us to jack off to your picture and you want to pay us?” “Good point. Isn’t nature wonderful? Thank you so much Borri!” Devilah said, giving the Greybeard a fierce hug. “Now I’ve got to go tell Sampson. Oh! I’d better finish getting my clothes back on.”
But as they started down the hall to where Sampson and Faniel were waiting, they found the others coming her way already. “Sampson! Borri and I have the most wonderful idea!” “Oh? Arngeir, Faniel and I came up with an idea too, though I don’t know if you’ll like it or not…”
The three travelers were laughing together, which undoubtedly disturbed the Greybeards after their days of sedentary life and silences. “What?” asked Faniel. “My knees are together!” “Oh, nevermind Faniel. I’m too happy to care! Borri even found containers for it. He’s going to keep them separated too. Oh, isn’t it wonderful Sampson?” Sampson was truly happy. “It’s absolutely disgusting, Devilah. But also wonderful in a very perverse way. What do you think Faniel?” “If it works and keeps you two together, I’m all for it. But you know, even if H is up for producing a magazine for you Devilah, it’s going to be some time before it can get published, get delivered up here, and get the results sent back to you – and we don’t even know where you’ll be.” “I don’t care,” Devilah laughed. “I’ll have my own delivery service!” “Devilah’s Special Milk! Now with 10% more Borri!” Sampson sputtered.
“Hey, don’t make fun of him. Besides, he tastes great!” “EWWWWW!” “You started it!” “Well, I may think it’s disgusting, but I’ll get over that. If I can have you all to myself someday soon!” Suddenly Devilah’s ears twitched. “I just got another idea. Sampson, I don’t know if you’re going to like it, but it means I can be yours exclusively even sooner.” “Try me.” “I can put on a show for them. Hand them some containers and have them watch the show. I’ll have a supply before we even come down the mountain.”
“You’re talking about a guy that had his Succubus lover take two guards last night. You think I’d mind you putting on a show for them? Hell, I’ll watch!” “Um… no. You won’t.” “Hmmm?” “You’ll be in the show.” “You… want me to make love to you with a bunch of old Greybeards watching?” Devilah looked at Sampson. “Yes Sampson. Yes I do. Believe me, they will not even see you. Every time you pump that dick of yours into me, they’ll be imagining it’s theirs. When I lick your balls, theirs will be tightening in sympathy. Sampson, there’s only so much I can do by myself. And I need them to give me all they’ve got. One shot isn’t going to do it. But when they see you fucking my brains out, that image will stay in their heads for weeks! Sampson… I need you to do this for me. Please.”
Sampson relented. “When are you thinking of putting on this show?” “Shows,” Devilah said, emphasizing the plural and knowing full well he was going to do it now. “I want to do one tonight and another when we come back from the peak. I can get at least another couple out of them all that way.” “You know, you’re turning these old men into your personal dairy farm, right?” Devilah looked innocently at Sampson. “No one’s forcing them to! But I bet I get a sellout crowd.” “This is gonna be tough, Dev. I don’t even know if I can get it up with a bunch of old men whacking off behind me!” “I’ll help. I still have some power over such things,” she said, unfurling her hidden wings as a reminder. “I’ll make you forget they’re even there.”

The Quest for the Holy Dildo #12

No one answered when they tried knocking at the door, though it seemed unlikely that their attempts to knock were even heard by any that might be near. Instead, Sampson drew one of the huge doors aside and all three stepped within. “Let Sampson go first, Devilah,” Faniel advised, to which the Succubus agreed without protest. “Hello? Anyone here?” Sampson called. The echoes died away but were soon replaced with the sound of shuffling feet approaching. An old man came in view. “Hello pilgrim. I am Arngeir. What brings you to High Hrothgar? Has the Dragonborn come?”
“I’m no Dragonborn. I am just a traveler on a quest. I bring two companions and seek only to look out from the peak of the mountain. One of us can sense our goal and we thought from such an advantage point she might be able to get a better idea of where we must go.” “Impossible. Only the Dragonborn can reach the peak. You are welcome to look out on our balconies and see what you can. We will host you within if you would like. But you are not allowed to venture to the peak. But bring out your companions. Let us see what sort of people you bring us.” Devilah stepped out first, swaying provocatively towards the Greybeard. At her appearance, a gasp came from somewhere nearby. “Come out, my brothers,” Arngeir said to the walls. “Surely you’ve seen a Khajiit before? You must forgive us, travelers. We don’t see many Khajiits up here. Especially not as voluptuous as you! May I know your name?“ "I am known as Devilah, Arngeir.” said the Succubus, stepping closer.
As she walked closer, his eyes widened and he stepped back in fear. “You are no Khajiit! You are a Succubus! Begone, demon! We have no truck with the likes of you. We are immune to your wiles!” Other Greybeards came out from a doorway and stood around the two menacingly. A feeling of power emanated from them and Sampson drew his sword. “A Succubus she is, Greybeard. But she is my mate and my love. You will not threaten her!”
Faniel chose that moment to step out from where she waited, watching. “Put away your sword, Sampson. There is no threat here. Just some old men who have forgotten their manners it seems!” All eyes turned to the Angel and instantly all the Greybeards dropped to their knees, heads down. Faniel smiled and walked slowly towards the leader. “Rise, Arngeir. At least you have the good sense to recognize an Angel when you see one.” Arngeir rose, but kept his eyes averted from Faniel as she came forward.
“You judge this Succubus, Arngeir. If you know me, you know my faith. Would you judge her? Are you the spotless lamb that can judge others?” Arngeir said nothing but his robes betrayed a shivering within. “Speak, Arngeir. What have you to say?” “Angel… Please… She is a demon!” “A demon she is. But she sides with the Good now. She is a creation of her Creator, as are you. Nothing Created is beyond saving. Yet you have condemned her only by her nature.”
“Forgive, Angel. We… we were wrong to do so.” “Yes, you were. But it is not my place to forgive. Nor forget. But let this pass now. Rise, all of you. Look upon me.” At her command, they all rose and, though it obviously pained them, they had no choice. “I am an Angel, but I am not of your world Greybeards. I seek only to return to my own place. But to do that, I need help. This Succubus and this Hero are my companions. Will you aid me, and through me, them as well?” “Of course we will,” Arngeir said with sincerity. “Worlds without end, we will aid any such as you in anything you require, even unto death!” To that, all the other Greybeards murmured agreement. Something in Faniel’s face shifted, and they all relaxed somewhat. “Now, let’s have some light in here.“ she said, and the room seemed to glow from above.
"Very well. That’s more like it. I am called Faniel. Through circumstances that you need not concern yourself with, I find myself in your world. What I need is a small thing, but I can sense it. I would like to travel to the peak of this mountain, which I judge to be not too much further. But my companions are tired. Might we stay the night with you and continue on tomorrow?” “Paarthurnax!” whispered one of the Greybeards. “They will meet Paarthurnax!” “Silence Einarth! If they are fated to meet Paarthurnax, then so it shall be!” “Who is this Paarthurnax?” Faniel asked. “He is our leader. He is a dragon.”
“A dragon?!” shouted Sampson. “You keep a dragon up here?” “He is… reformed!” Arngeir explained. “You see,” Faniel said calmly. “Even a dragon can see the Light. You must not judge based on nature alone.” Arngeir looked at Devilah with new respect. “Please, forgive me Devilah. I am humbled and ashamed. But we’ve all taken a vow of celibacy here. I don’t know if you’ll find us very… accommodating to your needs.” “Don’t be, Arngeir. I may be the only Succubus ever to… become whatever it is I am. You couldn’t know. But I’d like to talk further to you or one of your companions.”
“Arngeir,” Faniel smiled sweetly. “I don’t appreciate being lied to.” The leader of the Greybeards looked away from her gaze. “Lie? What lie?” “You are not celibate.” “But… It’s true! We’ve all taken a vow…” “Oh, I’m quite sure you have. That vow was broken. By all of you. Long, long ago and ever since then. Am I right? Who here can say he has kept this vow?” The silence was deafening. “As I thought. I’m sorry Arngeir. I doubt even you knew it, but that vow is pointless. It diminishes your other sacrifices. Relinquish this promise that you have not kept. You do no honor to yourselves with this lie.” Arngeir looked to the other Greybeards, who one by one nodded, acknowledging both their failure and their agreement with the Angel. “Then I, as the Voice of the Greybeards, hereby revoke the vow of celibacy. We… will not continue to claim that honor. As Faniel said, a vow that is not kept is no vow.”
Then, turning to one of the others, Arngeir spoke up. “Bolli. Would you mind escorting Devilah to your quarters. As I recall, you are uniquely suited to accompany her, and answer her questions.” Bolli nodded and escorted Devilah down a hallway nearby, while Arngeir dismissed the others and showed Faniel and Sampson to a guest room. “I’m sorry we haven’t a more accommodating place for you. But you are welcome to stay here as long as you like.” “Thank you Arngeir. I’m sorry to have had to put you all through that little scene. But sometimes it’s helpful to get things out in the open. Do you understand?” Faniel said softly. “I do. We have been… I thought I was the only one who was unfaithful to that particular tenet of the Way.” “It is a harder tenet to follow than you think. But now you needn’t concern yourself with it any longer. It is not necessary to your Way.”
Sampson spoke up then as they sat to talk with Arngeir a bit. “You know, Devilah would be more than happy to… help you all out there.” “Oh? The way you spoke before, I gathered…” “She’s a succubus,” Sampson said. “It would be the height of cruelty for me to ask her to remain true in all ways to me alone.” “Say,” Faniel interjected. “I have an idea.” An hour later, they had settled on a plan. “Do you think she’ll agree?” Sampson asked Faniel as the Greybeard made his way out of the room. “That’s for her to decide. It really depends on if she requires the act, or just the substance. I’ve not much more understanding of her needs than you have, Sampson. But… I’m hopeful!”

The Quest for the Holy Dildo #11

“Is it really 7000 steps?” Faniel asked.

“Well, that’s what they say. Feel like counting them?” Sampson answered as they stood at the base of the Throat of the World and looking up at the daunting Steps. He was clad in fur now, having spent some of their gold on new, more appropriate clothing for the climb.

Faniel laughed. “No, not really. I guess we’d best just get started.”

“Do you know anything about these Greybeards?” Devilah asked Sampson as they began to climb.

“Not much. Just what I’ve been told. They’re supposed to have some sort of fortress up near the top. They’re pretty reclusive I guess. They have some sort of ‘Shout’ magic that they can teach though. Ivarstead has some regulars that take them supplies routinely and they meet with pilgrims who climb the 7000 Steps.”

“And they’re all men?” Devilah asked.

“Why? Anticipating a target-rich environment?” Sampson laughed.

“Well, they must be lonely up there all by themselves, right?”

“Sounds like a monastery,” Faniel offered. “We have monks in the place I come from. They may be celibate.”

Sampson scoffed, “I can’t imagine what they’d have to celebrate up their with just other old men around!”

“’CELIBATE’”, Faniel enunciated. “It means they don’t have sex.”

“Oh! I did that for a while. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be,” Sampson said.

“Don’t I know it!” Devilah agreed.

“If that
is the case, Devilah, you may want to tone down your sexuality a bit. Some will be weaker than others to your… charms. You could probably get donations from all of them if you try, but they’ll end up feeling they’ve broken their vows.”

“Not much of a vow if they’re ready to ‘donate’ to any hot tail that comes their way,” pointed out the Succubus.

“Vows are pretty fragile things, Devilah. But they are important to those who make them, even if they are pointless. They’re a test of willpower. Control over one’s own nature. I respect those who make them, even if I also see them as mostly silly.”

They stood up to continue on their climb. Sampson and Faniel talked, but Devilah found herself lost in thought at the words of the Angel.

“They say it gets very cold up farther, Faniel. I know how efficient Devilah’s fur is, but other than your wings, your body is pretty much human. Are you sure you don’t need something to wear?” Sampson asked Faniel seriously.

“Thank you for your concern, Sampson, but I assure you, cold doesn’t affect me in the slightest.”

“We could stop before we get to the Greybeards too if you can get a good feel for the dildo’s location. We don’t have to go all the way you know.”

“Yeah. And I very well might be able to. But these Greybeards sound very interesting. I’d kind of like to meet them. I think… I think I’m supposed to for some reason.”

The scenery changed and the sky grew grey as they climbed and the wind began to pick up. Soon they passed the first flakes of snow.

“Faniel. Can you tell me more about these monks in the world you come from?” Devilah asked, breaking her silence.

“Certainly! They’re people who are very devoted to their Faith, Devilah. Sometimes they get the particulars wrong, but they want to devote their lives to it. They feel that anything that gets in the way of that is a distraction. So they give up those things that they feel are worldly to live life in a way that they feel is more… attuned to their beliefs. The monasteries are places that like-minded devotees gather and work out their own way of life.”

“So they are ultra-religious then?” Devilah asked.

“Some are. Others just seek a higher state of conciousness. Or even just the company of other like-minded people. Not all remain so throughout their lives either, but it’s rare for any to regret the choice, even if later they leave the cloister.”

“Cloister?” Devilah asked.

“Sorry Devilah. We have a lot of odd words for such things. Just… if they leave the community later, they usually still retain some dedication to the beliefs that led them to it. Some go on to become friars – people that try to spread their beliefs to others. Depending on their beliefs, they can be very powerful forces for good in my world.”

“Do they always go against nature?” Devilah asked, finding the topic oddly fascinating.

“No, not at all. It may be hard for you to understand, but many are quite… naturalistic. Believing that to be in harmony with nature is a central tenent of their faith.”

“But they hate sex?” Devilah asked, confused.

Faniel laughed heartily.

“They don’t hate sex, Dev. Well, most don’t. Sampson didn’t hate sex when he was trying to be celibate. It’s just their way of mastering their own bodies. Though, admittedly, that may not be true of all. Some probablty do. Even among monks, there are wide ranges of beliefs. But most do it as a way of learning control. There are some who practice silence too. Since these seem to base their faith around this ‘Shout’ magic, I’d not be surprised if they have some similar tendency related to vocalization.”

They had climbed high up the mountain by this time, but it’s peak seemed to be just as far above them. The trail did not lead steadily around the mountain, but wound back on itself at times, while at others it followed natural features of the mountain. The steps they trod were ancient, seeming to be part of the mountain itself. Yet in places they were obviously recently re-worked or added to. Marker stones and shrines of a sort also appeared along they way, and they stopped to read them. Finally they came to the edifice known as High Hrothgar. There was no sound or movement however.

“Maybe they’re all on vacation?” Sampson offered nervously, trying his best not to look at Faniel in her current position and failing miserably.

“It’s as I thought,” Faniel said, reading the tenth stone aloud that ended the 7000 steps. “’The Voice is worship. Follow the Inner path. Speak only in True Need.’ I don’t think there will be much conversation ahead.”

“Um… Faniel…” Devilah said, once she noticed where Sampson’s attention was focused.

“Oh. Sorry,” Faniel apologized, standing up. “I keep forgetting about… men.”

Devilah laughed. “And I can’t forget about them! But… if they practice Silence, then maybe they’re not celibate?”

Faniel shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not. The two aren’t mutually exclusive. But remember, Devilah, they’re old men at any rate. They’re not likely to be much interested regardless of any vows.”

Devilah looked up at the tower and walls in front of them. “If they’ve made such a vow, Faniel, I’ll honor that and keep my hands off. But if not…”

Faniel chuckled, “Step aside Rogaine and Cialis, Devilah has come to town!”

“Dieties from your world?” Sampson asked.

“Aphrodisiacs. Come on, let’s go meet these Greybeards.”

The Quest for the Holy Dildo #10

(Author’s Note: I swear one of these days I’m going to do a post with no nudity whatsoever. To quote Aragorn, “But it is not this day.” In my defense, it IS a story about a dildo… )

“Ask me what?” Muz-Ra said as they walked the path back to the secret entrance to Dragon’s Reach.

“He wants to know if you have any other secrets you can share?”

Muz-Ra laughed heartily. “Liked it that much eh?”

“Like I’d sent him into space.”

“You once thought that was disgusting you know, Uber.”

“It
is disgusting. But he likes it and that makes all the difference. So? How about it? Any other ‘suggestions’ for our love making?”

“Well, if you really want to blow his mind, and your own for that matter, you should meet Black Beauty!”

“Black Beauty?”

“It’s what I call it. The Jarl thinks it’s too much, and I think I agree. It’s hard to explain, but after we’re done with the Jarl, I’ll show it to you.”

(…later)

“So, what do you think?” Muz-Ra asked Ubergard, who was still quivering slightly in a pool of her own making.

“Red… (huff) That thing is… (huff)… I haven’t got the words!”

“I know. I don’t use it much anymore. I’m afraid it might get addictive. I mean, as much as I love the Jarl, that thing could take his place every night and I might be hard-pressed to regret it. Even the Jarl says so.”

“I… Mmmmm! (huff)… It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.”

“Me neither. I was feeling kinky one day and tried to wear it inside. I could barely get out of my room. I had to take it out.”

“I always thought I had self-control, Red. But that thing… It’s Orgasm in a Bottle!”

“Thanks for staying with me. At first I thought you were just wanted to watch me… you know. But now…”

“Yeah, it really shouldn’t be used alone. A girl might never be seen again! But no problem. I could easily be a lesbian I think, if I just didn’t like men so much.”

“Well, thanks anyway.”

“If it’s too much for you, maybe it’s best you not show it to K’rris. Men haven’t got our control you know.”

“What do you do with it on the Jarl?”

“Just about anything works. Up the bum is the obvious choice, but he came when I just rubbed his balls with it! But the best… mind if I get technical?”

“Of course not Red! You just saw me orgasm for 30 minutes straight all over myself!”

“Well, one night I put it inside… in the back… and had the Jarl take my pussy.”

The giant Argonian’s eyes went wide. “Oh my god! And he felt it too!”

“Uber, it was the most powerful thing either of us had ever experienced. After he came the first time, he didn’t even begin to go soft. We fucked for two hours straight. I was so wet he didn’t even get sore. But it was after that I put it away. It was too much, but it bound us together sexually like nothing else could.”

“I want it. Just for one night. I’ve got to try that.”

“Just… be careful, and explain to K’rris about it. I think there’s something magical about it. I know you can handle it, but the Jarl’s pretty old and experienced in things. K’rris isn’t. Even just feeling it through your body, it might be too much for him.”

“I will,” Ubergard agreed. “But… Oh what a night we’ll have!”

“You will. I envy you. That night with the Jarl when I did that… It will definitely be unforgettable. But, take my advice. Only do it one night.”

The next day, Ubergard came back to meet Muz-Ra at the secret entrance.

“So?”

Ubergard handed Black Beauty over.

“Oh Red. No. Take it back. I can’t control myself with that.”

“Is K’rris okay?”

“I think I may have sprained him a little. Nothing serious. But I lost it last night. I was all over him with every bit of strength I had Red. He went down on me and I practically drowned him, and I rode him till the sun came up. If he has a drop left in him, I’d be surprised. But I swear he’d love to give it to me again if he could anyway!”

“I’m sorry, Uber. I tried to warn you though.”

“Sorry!? Don’t be sorry Red. That was a night we can never forget. But only one, or I’ll break him. Or he’ll break me. I felt like I was just going to melt into a puddle all over him.”

Muz-Ra put Black Beauty away, not missing the fact that Ubergard’s eyes followed it till it was out of sight. “Well, give him my best wishes for a speedy recovery!”

“I will. And I’ll let him stay on top till he gets better.”

“Oh! Any problems with the wedding? Will he be okay for that?”

“I don’t know Red. I really rode him hard. He’s getting better, and I’m sure he’ll be fine soon, but…”

“Mmm. I better tell the Jarl. Don’t worry about it though. Tell K’rris he doesn’t have to wear the kilt and he doesn’t have to be the best man. We’ll get someone else. Maybe H.”

“Thanks Red. I’d better get back though. He’s sleeping now but I should look after him. He… needs a lot of liquids.”

The Jarl took the news better than expected. “Actually, I’m a little bit glad of it. I think I have someone else in mind that I really owe it to. But I understand what he must have felt. In my younger years, I’d have probably done that too under that thing’s power. I’ll send him a get-well gift. But he’ll still be at the wedding, right?”

“Yes. Probably sitting down, but he’ll be there.”

“Good. I want him to know there’s no hard feelings between us.”

“So, who are you thinking?”

“Does the best man have to be a man?” the Jarl asked.

“Her?!“ Muz-Ra managed to squeal while the Jarl lowered his back massage.

"She’s been by my side for years, Red. She deserves it.”

“And… really… you’ve never fucked?”

“Never. I would tell you if we had. I don’t think she likes men. But I’m not sure she likes women either for that matter. She seems to be… nonsexual.”

“She likes you, that’s for sure.”

“She’s been the most loyal person I’ve ever known, Red.”

“How does she look in a kilt?”

“Oh? You wouldn’t have her wear one of your bridesmaid outfits?”

“I think she’d look better in the kilt. And I think she’d appreciate it more.”

“I think you’re right about that. Now, how about you ride me till the sun comes up?”

“I might strain your legs!”

“Promise?” the Jarl asked, rolling over as she lowered herself over his face.

“Mmmm!” she moaned as the obscene licking sounds grew more moist. “I’ll drown you Jarlmeister!”