The Quest for the Holy Dildo #2

Soon the trio came upon a river as predicted. At Sampson’s suggestion, they followed it until they came to a road and a bridge.

“If I’m not mistaken, this is the Darkwater River. If we take the road west across the bridge, we should come to Ivarstead by nightfall.

Ivarstead is right at the beginning of the 1000 steps so we can start the climb the next day.”

“Um… Sampson… do you have any money?” Devilah asked.

Sampson shook his head. “Devilah, until recently, I didn’t have any clothes! There was nothing in the cabin either.”

Both of them looked at Faniel who laughed, “Sorry, I’ve got nothing on me.”

“Okay, well there’s a house by that bridge. Let me go on ahead. I’m pretty sure I can make some money for some food and a place to stay.”

“Devilah! Is that… ethical?” Faniel asked, somewhat shocked.

Sampson, as usual, had no idea what they were talking about.

Devilah gave Faniel a frustrated look. “Sorry Angel, but I’m going to do it anyway. Might as well get paid for it.”

“What are you talking about?” Sampson asked, confused.

Devilah mimicked performing fellatio, adding “Just a quick snack for the road.”

“Oh Devilah! Must you?”

“Yes, dammit. I MUST. Stop thinking about it like a human for once Sampson. Oh, just stay out of sight. We’ll see just how much seductive power I still have.”

As Devilah swam across the slow moving river, Sampson turned to Faniel.

“Do you swim, or can you fly with those wings?” Sampson asked. “There’s no reason we can’t wait on the far side.”

“Fly? Oh… Naa. I can get off the ground a bit, but I can’t stay aloft for long. They’re mostly just decorative. But don’t worry about me.”

Faniel replied.

“Well then let’s follow her across the river at least.”

Sampson soon discovered that Faniel didn’t need to fly or swim across.

Devilah continued ahead to the house while Faniel and Sampson sat on a tree trunk away from the road and a bit out of sight of the bridge and the house.

“Can Devilah fly?” Faniel asked.

“Devilah? Oh! That’s right! She has wings too – when she wants them. I kinda doubt it though. They’re smaller than yours.”

“Sampson…” Faniel started hesitantly after they had been quiet a while.

“Yes? What is it.”

“Why do you look at my pussy so much?”

Sampson flushed and looked away. “Do I? I’m sorry. I suppose I do. I don’t mean to offend you.”

“Why would I be offended? This body is a beautiful creation, don’t you think? But it seems like you are always either looking at my pussy or my tits. Why is that?”

“Well, if it makes you feel better, I stare at your ass a lot too.”

“I’m not stupid, Sampson. I know there’s sexuality involved. But you’re not going to fuck me. You’re not the type to even try! So why do you look at me like that? It must be frustrating for you.”

“I think it’s just built into me. It’s just…”

“A natural thing?”

“Yes, I suppose so. I’ll try to tone it down.”

“Oh, there’s no need for that. Something in me rather likes it. But I ask only to make a point.”

“Make a point?”

“Yes. Devilah loves you deeply. But her nature requires her to do these acts with other males. She can’t help it Sampson. No more than you can help looking at my body. She knows you don’t like it, and that’s creating a… tension in her. Her nature calls her to do what she has to do, but you remind her that you wish she wouldn’t. Sampson, if that tension gets too strong, on which side do you think it will break?”

Sampson just looked at the angel for a minute, thinking.

“Sampson, nature always wins. Always. If that tension gets too great within her, she will leave you or worse. Don’t let it get to that point. Somehow, and I don’t know how, but you’ve got to let her be a succubus. You don’t have to encourage it, but don’t make her feel guilty for doing what she has to do. It’s who she is. If you can’t handle it, you shouldn’t have started down this road with her in the first place.”

Sampson was quiet for a long time, and Faniel could see he was thinking. Thinking hard about intangible things. Finally he looked back at her. “I can handle it,” he smiled. “Thanks Faniel. I think I understand.”

“I hope so, Sampson. It’s against your nature too, I know. So you both need to bend without breaking. In the meantime, would you like me to spread my pussy for you, or would you rather gaze at my asshole?”

Sampson turned away, realizing that he had again been absentmindedly looking at her crotch again.

“Just kidding Sampson. Lighten up! I suppose maybe there are good reasons to wear clothes after all. Ones I hadn’t really considered.”

“So, you’ll wear something then?”

“Never. But at least I’m beginning to understand why you wear them.”

“Well then, your asshole,” Sampson said, brightening up.

“What?!”

“I haven’t seen your asshole yet, so I choose that!”

Faniel began to turn around.

“Wait! I was just kidding!”

Faniel turned back and smiled an evil smile, which somehow looked incongruous on her. “I was too.”

Some minutes passed before Faniel commented, “it’s really a beautiful asshole though.”

Sampson eyed her cautiously, “I’m absolutely sure it is, Faniel. But I’m in love with another asshole. Better I learn to love the one I’ve got than lust after one beyond my lot.”

“Wise poetry, from a man growing wiser every day,” Faniel nodded. “Though you will really be missing something.”

“Oh? Aren’t they all pretty much the same?”

Faniel smiled, “Lilacs, Sampson. My ass smells like Lilacs and lavender.”

Sampson wasn’t sure if she was still teasing or not, and her enigmatic smile revealed nothing until she broke out in a spasm of uncontrollable giggling.

The Quest for the Holy Dildo #1

“He returns tomorrow,” said the Argonian, obviously worried. “What are you going to do?” asked Kitty as she climbed down into the hot tub. When Muz-Ra had left Castle Kitty, of course she had to tell Kitty about her affair with Krris. It took little time for Udaran to wheedle it out out of Kitty too, and of course that meant Cheetah soon knew as well. In fact, it seemed the only person who didn’t know why Muz-Ra moved out was Krris himself – oblivious as always. The three Khajiits were now visiting Muz-Ra at Tails of the Khajiit’s home base in Paradise Valley and basking in the warm water of the outdoor hot tub.
Muz-Ra sighed deeply. “I have no choice really. If I’m going to marry the old coot, I won’t do so without him knowing everything.” “He very well may reject you, you know,” Udaran pointed out. “I know. But that’s his decision to make. I only know I can’t go through with it without being honest with him. He deserves better. He should know the slut he’s marrying.”
“Oh Red, lighten up. It’s not like you to be like that. You weren’t married you know. But the real question is, do you love him?” “I do! I don’t know how I can be in love with two people at once, Kitty, but I really do. Plus I am his Consort. Like a Fiancee really, just one with no anticipated date.” “And he loves you? Really loves you?” asked Cheetah while stroking her lover idly under the water. “I think so. At least, he did,” Muz-Ra said gloomily.
“Well then, he’ll get over it. Eventually anyway. How much are you going to tell him though?” “Everything. I have to. As old as I am, I’ve never been married. This is probably going to be for life. I won’t do that without telling him everything.” “Good luck Red. You’re a good woman,” said Udaran. “I’m a slut.” “Hey! Us sluts can find happiness too you know,” Cheetah pointed out. “Look at me!”
Meanwhile, far away from there, an ex-angel, a hero, and a succubus in the form of a khajiit were making plans… “Are you sure you won’t wear some clothes at least? We’re going to have a hard time with the locals if you don’t put something on. They’ll say you have no modesty,” the human warrior said to the ex-angel. “I will not. This body was given to my by my lord. I will not cover something so beautiful with filthy cloth. It’s not pride, you understand, it’s reverence for what was given me! I am not this body, and this body is not me. But it would be a sin to cover it.”
Sampson looked at Devilah with a grin, “It’s hard to argue with that.” Devilah had never had even a twinge of jealousy in her life before. As an abstract concept, she understood it well enough and knew it existed, but the peculiar nature of a Succubus simply was incapable of feeling the emotion. Where another might have responded negatively, Devilah simply recognized the fact that Faniel’s body was indeed beautiful and could only agree wholeheartedly. “Well, there’s one good thing anyway,” she said. “No one will be too upset at my clothes. But as for my… needs. Are you sure you’re okay with it Sampson?” “I’ve set my mind to it. You are mine, Devilah. As long as your heart is with me, your body can be with others as is needed. But please, I do hope not to have to see it.”
“You are my love, Sampson. I will be discreet,” said the Succubus, looking directly into Sampson’s eyes. “And I will reserve part of myself for you alone, because I recognize that is important to you. To live, I must accept the male gift, but only you can have my female gift. It is all I can promise, but that I do promise!“ said the Succubus, in what was somewhat stilted language but which she hoped would convey her conviction. "Well,” Faniel said happily. “That’s almost a marriage vow! You two may just manage this yet. If it is within my power, I will try to aid you if ever I am returned to my rightful place and can prevail upon the powers there. But tell me more about this Simulacrum, Devilah.”
“We call it a dildo. It’s shaped roughly like a large black penis. About a foot in length, though I used to have the power to change it’s size.” “As a mortal Succubus, your powers are diminished Devilah, but they are not all gone. Your creator did not leave you powerless in such a hostile world. But what is it’s purpose? Why did you carry such a thing?” “It’s for… well. When you’re alone and you need some stimulation. You can imagine it is your lover. And…”
“Yes?” “It vibrates. If the battery is still charged anyway. It’s hard to explain, but it feels very very good.” “Interesting. A vibrating penis simulacrum,” she said, but then glanced at Sampson. “But surely a penis doesn’t vibrate? Does it?“ "No,” Sampson said, blushing. “To my everlasting regret, it does not. Now let’s get underway,“ Sampson declared, gathering his weapon. "Faniel, you say you can sense it. Can you be our guide to find it?”
Faniel shook her head sadly. “It’s too vague. There’s too much between me and the Essence. If the way were clear, I might be able to figure it out but it’s too far away.” “Well, we’ve got to go some direction. Any ideas?” “I have an idea,” Devilah replied. “What about that mountain we passed? What did you call it?” Sampson nodded. “Good idea. It’s called The Throat of the World.” “What is that?” “A very BIG mountain,” explained Devilah. “From there you can see nearly all of Skyrim with no obstructions.”
“Oh! That sounds like a great idea! Yes, let’s go to the Throat of the World! Do you know how to get there?” “I don’t even know where we are. But if we keep going the same direction, we should come across a road eventually. We can figure it out from there.”

Furballs

On the Inevitability of Furballs

By staff writer (Chuck M)

Khajiits are not cats. We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again, so let’s get that clear right up front. While there’s plenty of evidence both obvious and less so that they have common attributes, anyone that has associated with one of our fine furry friends knows that the differences far outweigh the similarities. That being said, there are some common issues that can hardly be ignored, furballs being one of them.

Khajiits come in a delightful variety of types and personalities. Some wouldn’t dream of licking themselves clean, while others do it naturally as a matter of course. Yet along with that activity comes the inevitable. That fur has to go somewhere and the Khajiit oral structure doesn’t allow for easy expulsion of shed fur. So down it goes. Even their lovers can experience this, especially when performing certain oral activities with them. We’re not talking about the occasional pubic hair between the teeth either. The short, straight nature of fur tends to not get intercepted like pubic hair.

In the stomach, fur is normally digested as are other non-edible materials that make it that far. However, sometimes it stays in the stomach and builds up, reaching a size large enough to irritate the stomach which causes a natural – if unpleasant – reaction. The furball is expelled the only way available.

Unfortunately there is no known way to prevent this, and it can occur not only in Khajiits, but also in their lovers. If you find yourself bringing up a furball, once you get over the discomfort you can count yourself lucky! Better out than in! The inability to bring up such a furball can cause more serious complications however. In those unfortunate individuals a self-induced upchuck may be advised. Dragon’s Breath mead is known to be quite effective in producing the desired effect, especially if consumed in large quantities. It also has a sensitivity neutralizing effect that can allow the natural reaction to occur with minimal discomfort (though others nearby may disagree).

Once expelled, there is no need to store or otherwise save furballs unless some unusual aspect of them indicates a problem. If in doubt, you can bring the remains to your personal physician for analysis. Note though that doing so may call your sanity into question so it is best to know your doctor well before presenting your problem to him or her, especially if you are not yourself a Khajiit. Bedroom practices of the various races range widely and what may be considered an acceptable practice in one area may be far from it in another.

So next time you or your Khajiit lover experience this unpleasant but natural occurance, do not panic. A large glass of water or the aforementioned Dragon’s Breath mead should help to calm the throat and restore the ‘patient’ in minutes. After a such an incident, you may resume your activities with the same vigor as before with no ill effects. (Although a breath freshener is well advised. See Dragon’s Breath mead again!)

However, there are specific people who simply find this too distasteful. In those occasions, if you or your Khajiit prefer, the razor remains a viable option. Just remember, the Khajiit has fur all over for a reason, and shaving may have unintended consequences. However, that is between you and your Khajiit to decide. Just be sure your Khajiit mate agrees with this solution. Remember those professional adventurers we have on staff to deal with anyone who might consider shaving his lover while she sleeps. We have zero tolerance for anyone harming female Khajiits in Skyrim, and you will likely be shaved of far more than your hair when they administer their form of justice.

Some Khajiits report increased sexual pleasure after shaving ‘down there’ while others report the opposite effect. All Khajiit, like the other races in Tamriel, vary widely in this. But a short period of experimentation should do no harm and may lead to increased activity when the fear of fur is removed, so that too might well prove an advantage of the shaved pussy method of resolving this natural issue.

As always, we have professionals standing by to help at Tails of the Khajiit for all female Khajiits between the ages of 18 and 35, including a licensed Khajiit grooming specialist, trained in the delicate art of shaving those sensitive areas. We provide complete anonymity and may offer employment as well to those less inhibited members of the female furry community. Ask for Chuck.

Letters to the Editor

Letters to Tails of the Khajiit

From FurFriendly in Solitude

“I’m writing to you to express my appreciation for your article on the Ta’agra language. While we converse in the common tongue of Cyrodiilic just fine, I do like to try my best to speak my lovers’ native language. However, it seems like most of the books on the subject omit any ‘sexy’ words. Imagine her surprise when I told her how much I was looking forward to reli jer zaj . To put it mildly, it got her hot very quickly! One thing I must point out though, your pronunciation guide for the word zashka’a is incorrect. Things were getting very intimate when apparently I told her how much I loved the way she licked my clouds. Once we figured out what I’d gotten wrong we had a good laugh and she proceeded to lick my clouds again. We now have a new euphemism!”

Dear FurFriendly,

We regret the mistake in our pronunciation guide. While we have experts on the Ta’agra language here, apparently our proofreaders weren’t so accurate. It was a typo that slipped through. The proper pronunciation is, as you might expect, ZASHkah-ah, not ZASHkuh-ah. Thank you for the correction and your kind words. And we sincerely wish you many more years of having your clouds licked!

From Dongs of the North in Markarth

“Do the Nords pack the biggest punch? They’re certainly ‘Shouting’ about it enough!”

Dear Dongs of the North,

For the answer to this, we asked our models for a consensus. The answer was a bit surprising. Of course, Nords are often quite bigoted against the Tailed races. To their credit, they’re pretty much bigoted against ALL races though so at least they’re consistent. However, it seems that behind closed doors the Nords are as amorous as any other race towards a finely curved female form when no eyes are watching. So in fact our models do have some words to say on the matter of which race packs the biggest ‘punch’ – if by ‘punch’ you mean sex organs.

In fact, the Nords do win this contest. But only if you exclude all male nords! The FEMALES do appear to have the largest sex organs in fact, especially if mammaries are included. However, we suspect the question was concerning male package. While our models probably don’t represent a good statistical sampling, their answers confirmed what we suspected all along. The Orsimer have that privilege in the Penile department, followed by the Argonians. But we didn’t stop there! Let’s talk testicles. In that department, the winners are the Bosmer in a landslide. The nearest were the Bretons, but by a wide margin. That being said, the Nord men did have one aspect that put them far in front of all the other races. The Nord men have by far the largest sphincters. So yes, the Nords win the Biggest Assholes award!

From SleepingWithTheFishes in Falkreath

“I am a Breton and happily married to a lovely Nord woman. However, my eyes have always strayed to the catfolk. I will never break my vow, but I am curious nonetheless. Do Khajiit women ‘feel’ different when having sex and if so, how?”

Dear SleepingWithTheFishes,

Sorry SWTF, but we love our readers and would never want to cause pain to any of them so we can’t answer your question as we feel doing so might cause you anxiety and misery, or even a divorce! Instead, just enjoy what you can from our magazine. For you, that must be sufficient. We respect your curiosity, but if you are to remain faithful, you should ask no such questions again.

From WarmSands in Falkreath

“I’m curious why so many Khajiits come to Skyrim. Isn’t it far too cold for them? Not that I MIND, you understand. But as I understand it their home province of Elseweyr is quite warm. How do they stand it here?”

Dear WarmSands,

While Elseweyr is indeed much warmer than Skyrim, the fur of the Khajiit actually lends itself to the toleration of extremes of both hot and cold – much like an insulated cup will keep a beverage cold or hot. In fact, Khajiits can tolerate the extremes of Skyrim beyond what the most hearty man or mer could! Many also are misled by the common greeting of “warm sands” by Khajiits that their ancestral home is a desert. Nothing could be further from the truth! It is a lush and semi-tropical land full of vegetation and life of all kinds. Just consider that a Nord from the coldest reaches of Skyrim would never say “may your feet walk in deep snowdrifts”. The “warm sands” greeting simply enforces the love that many Khajiit feel for their homeland, especially when in colder climes. But it does not signify in any way that they dislike the cold particularly. Our own models certainly have proven their ability to tolerate cool temperatures in the skimpy outfits we adorn them with!

As one model puts it, “I would be just fine naked in anything short of a blizzard honestly. We just wear clothes for the adornment, not for any need of heat.”

From MeadDrinker

“I notice you promote Dragon’s Breath mead often. Why is that? Do they give you money for doing that? And is it true what they say? Does it really have Khajiit pee in it?”

Dear MeadDrinker,

You are very perceptive. Indeed, the fine folks at Dragon’s Breath do give us money for promoting their products. While subscriptions keep us afloat and allow us to pay our bills, the arrangement we have with Dragon’s Breath allows the purchase of our guard and mercenary staff. In return we do mention their mead often, though only where it serves a useful purpose. We have coined a term for this interrelation between our companies we call “advertisement”. We think it has a strong future.

Also, their tagline (‘smells better than stale cat piss, and tastes somewhat better too’) along with their association with us apparently has started that rumor. While we do find their tagline humorous, it is unfortunate that this association has been made. In point of fact, a certain amount of Khajiit urine IS present in Dragon’s Breath mead (less than 5% by volume), but it is there specifically for fermentation purposes and does not contribute in any way to the flavor or aroma of that fine beverage.

While on this subject, it’s probably best to go ahead and mention that we are in discussions with Dragon’s Breath to market specialty brews that contain the urine of specific Tails models. The Udaran Special will be out next month to test-market this product. If successful, we intend to expand these specialty brews with our other Khajiit models. Unfortunately, Argonian urine doesn’t contain the same properties to aid fermentation so our plans to market Argonian based brews will likely be discontinued, unless demand for Muz-Ra Pale Ale is successful.

From DesperateInMorthal in Morthal

“How would you recommend meeting a Khajiit woman? I am DEFINITELY attracted to them, but it seems none live around here.”

Dear Desperate,

We feel your pain Desperate. Most Khajiit like to live in company with other Khajiits though, which is really pretty normal for all races. Your best bet would be in one of the larger towns, especially those that are visited routinely by the Khajiit caravans. However, in your name also lies one of your biggest problems. Khajiit are no different than other races in that they are turned off by desperation. You won’t get someone to marry you by trotting at their heels and licking their feet all the time! They first look for confidence, ability, humor and charisma just like most females of any race. You also have the disadvantage of NOT being a Khajiit. It’s a simple fact that most Khajiits fall in love with other Khajiits, so honestly you would need to be an exceptional man.

So work on that – work on being exceptional. Regardless of your destined soul mate’s race, that will be more important than anything else. While we, of course, love our Khajiit models and celebrate their sexy look, there’s so much more to finding the right person to mate for life than that. Work on yourself. Become not-desperate. When you become a person everyone looks up to, the Khajiits will look up to you as well.

From Fleabitten in Rorikstead

“I have begun dating a Khajiit woman who comes by every few weeks in a Caravan. We have an awesome time and I may ask her to marry me soon. It’s not even the sex, though that is great. She’s just great fun to be around and we laugh together so easily. There’s just one problem… My house has fleas now! It never did before. I like her so much, but the fleas get even worse when she’s gone! Do you have any recommendations?”

Dear Fleabitten,

First, I do not blame you for not knowing this (though it’s been said before within these pages in past issues), but Khajiits simply Do Not Have Fleas. Or lice. Or any of a host of vermin that are commonly associated with the common dog or housecat. The mistake you make is a common one, but – though we say it repeatedly and often – Khajiits ARE NOT CATS.

Obviously there is some relationship, but they simply are not. One of the most striking differences is that Khajiits have a natural scent that is abhorrent to fleas as well as most all other parasites that normally live in fur. Fortunately most people LOVE that natural Khajiit scent. Some even suggest it is an aphrodisiac. Having a Khajiit in your house is honestly one of the best known ways to RID it of fleas! Her scent won’t kill them, but they don’t like it and they will (pardon the pun) flee the area if given the chance. And all that ignores the simple fact that Khajiits LOVE to bathe. They may be the cleanest race in Tamriel. (Admittedly this must exclude Argonians, who practically live for water!) Even your own letter indicates that they get worse when she’s not around.

No, your flea problem has come from somewhere else. Do you have any animals in the house? The normal approach to remove these pests is still the best. Discard all bed clothing. Sweep the floors out completely and often. Scrub them as well. Flea eggs can survive for long periods so this maintenance must be kept up for at least 3 months. And, it should not need to be said, wash your clothing as well! Doing this will have a twofold effect, both beneficial… your house will be rid of fleas AND your Khajiit friend will appreciate your clean house and will have no fear of becoming your housemaid instead of your lover!

That’s it for this month’s Letters to the Editor! -H

If you have a question for us or our models, please write to us at Tails of the Khajiit in Whiterun. All letters will remain anonymous and are destroyed routinely after each issue is published. No record of your communication beyond what is published in the Tails is kept.

Tails and Anal sex – TotK

Tails and Anal Sex – 10 Things you Must Know

by staff writer (Chuck M)

It’s the ultimate ‘forbidden fruit’. For some of you, the mere mention of it may cause a physical gag reflex. This article is not for you. Your reaction is understandable. Anal sex is simply not a natural act. On the other hand, some might say that intimate relations with a Khajiit at all by any other race is also not a natural act either. So, as in many topics, your opinions may vary.

No, this article is for those readers who are curious, or perhaps are active in this undeniably kinky form of love-making. For those, it is the nature of the act itself that provides it’s biggest attraction. And this attraction does not extend only to the male members of our readership either we point out. Plus those receiving are often just as enamored with it as those giving. But there are some things that should be understood before engaging in what is still considered a crime in some parts of Tamriel. And, while most apply regardless of race or gender, some have particular value when the object of your attraction is one of our tailed races.

So let’s get started with our list of 10 things you MUST KNOW about Anal Sex and your Khajiit lover.

#1 – No Prostate.

This applies to all female races of course, but this article will assume your lover is a female Khajiit specifically. The prostate is a sexual gland in males that lies within the lower abdomen and provides much of the seminal fluid in a man’s ejaculate. Since it is part of the reproductive apparatus of males, it should come as no surprise that it isn’t present in females. However, some males find stimulation of it to be pleasurable. That stimulation is typically done via manipulation through the anus since the prostate lies nearby.

Even in males, stimulation of the prostate is not always pleasurable. So much more for females since they don’t have one! That does not mean that females may not find anal stimulation enjoyable, but it does mean that this is not the primary cause, and thus it is reasonable to assume that fewer females do enjoy it. So while you may enjoy your own tail pipe to be ravaged by her strap-on, don’t assume the same is true for her! It should go without saying that she should be consulted first and her wishes obeyed to the letter. (Must we remind you of those adventurers we keep on retainer again?)

#2 – Cleanliness.

There’s no reason to obfuscate the fact that anal sex is a dirty business. But there are things you and your partner can do to improve that. A sterile douche is a recommended prerequisite to consummating your adventure. However, don’t go down to the stream and get a bucket of river water and pour it up your partner’s ass! While the water found in running streams may be fine for drinking, your body is built to handle the impurities found there when ingested normally. However, the rear end is not. Instead, boil that water (AND LET IT COOL!) beforehand. Then and only then should you pour it up your partner’s ass. Then she can release it (in an appropriate place of course), effectively cleaning the anal cavity at least somewhat.

For some (and you know who you are you perverts!) this may be just as pleasurable as actual anal sex, so always be on the lookout for ways to make it most enjoyable for your partner.

#3 – The Tail.

Ah yes, the part you’ve been waiting for. Our Khajiit lovers are built with the most beautiful appendage of all – the furry tail. (Readers of the Tails of the Argonian may disagree, but they can get their own Anal Sex pointers.) However, it’s important to ALWAYS remember that this is an extension of the backbone. As such, it lies perilously close to the sphincter. While other tailless races don’t have this obstacle, our lovers do and it is our duty to understand and respect their physical differences. It is simply a very rare Khajiit that actually enjoys anal sex. An informal poll of our girls here at the Tails shows only 3 (of about 20) have ever engaged in it. Of those three, 2 enjoyed it, and the other reports she did it for her lover and it “wasn’t too bad.”

So, even if you dream of ravaging your kitty’s hindquarters, most likely you will find that she either isn’t interested or will do it just for you on rare occasions. You must accept this. Sometimes your fantasies just shouldn’t be realized. Typically you can still share them with her using some manual stimulation even if you can’t stuff your cock up her bum. Obviously fingers are much smaller and more subtle (except in very rare cases!). If you’re among the very lucky few whose lover either enjoys or accepts you in this way, do NOT attempt to perform this from the so-called ‘doggy style’ position. In the heat of your passion you may hurt her seriously due to the tail. Best to keep her on top so she can maintain control in whatever orientation she prefers. Also, unless she has specifically requested it, do not tug on her tail. Our ladies report that it’s nearly always a turn-off. (However, as with most things, there are variants.)

#4 – Lubrication.

This simply can’t be repeated often enough. Do not go in dry. You will hurt your kitty and it won’t feel good anyway.

Those adventurers of ours have very special methods of dispensing justice for anyone who hurts our Khajiits in this way. It involves an unusually long spike. More of a pole actually. Those who have had this form of justice administered have never yet mentioned that they found the experience pleasurable even though it certainly stimulated their prostate.

As for the lube itself, any sterile oil should suffice. Some readers have reported good success with leaving Dragon’s Breath mead to boil down till it is reduced to the consistency of pudding.

Application should be applied both to your erect member and to your lover’s tail-hole. There is no such thing as too much lube in this case. If she’s really into it, you might even want to inject her with some extra beforehand. (Note – do not use the same tube used during the douching process!)

#5 – Oral-Anal stimulation.

If you and your partner are comfortable with this act, it is best done after the douche and before the lubrication. Obviously cleanliness is the key to making this a pleasurable experience, and remember that the anus is not a vagina. No matter how pleasurable it may be for her, it will not self-lubricate (no matter what your other ‘sources’ may indicate). However, in our experience, even if she doesn’t allow full on anal sex, this taboo act can get her purring like no other! Another thing to be aware of while you’re ‘down there’. Did you know the base of the tail is an extremely errogenous zone for your Khajiit? It’s true. So, if you’re going down there orally anyway, why not make the trip the rest of the way to the Tail Base One? You (and she!) will be glad you did.

#6 – Once Inside.

Okay, you’ve followed all the advice, your kitty likes (or at least accepted) your back-door advances, you’ve completed all the preliminaries, and at last you’re inside your lover’s poop chute.

Might as well revel in it, you’re in the shit now. Just remember, you wanted to be here! Your path should be well lubed and you’ve managed to get past that muscular gateway. It should come as no surprise that the key is go slow! Her rectum simply isn’t built for you to slam away at it. You really don’t want to hurt her here. She took you up her ass – that fact alone should be enough to get you off. You should not need to pound her into Oblivion or break her tailbone now. This is enough. Slow strokes and be ever-alert for any hints of pain from her. She loves you and she’s doing this for you. Respect that and get the hell out if there’s any sign she’s not comfortable.

Granted that at best right now she feels like she’s taking a dump that keeps coming back. Fortunately there are (rare) Khajiit women that like that feeling, but odds are you haven’t got one.

Enjoy her with care and don’t be dejected if she asks you to take it out before you’ve come. Remember, she’s not built for that. You’ve already achieved a sexual adventure that most can only dream of. If, on the other hand, she’s so into it that she let’s you finish inside, try and keep control as much as possible. You’re instincts are going to push you to slam it home. You should be able to ‘home’ it, but no slamming allowed! Congratulations, you are the 1%! Be sure to write to us!

#7 – Exit Strategy.

Whether you’ve been asked to back out, or if you’ve managed to complete the act in her most personal of orifices, you’re still not done. Except in the most rare of cases (unknown to us at the Tails but we must assume it’s possible), she hasn’t come yet. If you had to leave early, you’re in luck! The normal path still lays open to you. If not, time to get your tongue limbered up.

But if you are planning to resume activities in the womb room, clean it up first. Okay, if you’ve followed this advice, it’s not bad. But it’s still worth a trip to the sink first. Also, use soap or oil on it to clean it well. Ask her to help, she may be more than willing! Then you can get back to the task at hand. She just let you inside her tail hole stud! Whether or not you came there, she deserves some compensation. Be the best you can be. If she wants your tongue to explore her slowly, do that. If she wants you to bang her pussy like a punching bag with your man meat, get to work Rocky. She deserves whatever she wants now and it’s your job to give it to her. If possible, don’t let her go before you make her come. This is the key to future encounters with her. Make her remember it with pleasure.

#8 – What to do if you hurt her.

Run. Run and never look back. Never touch a Khajiit woman again and don’t show your face in Skyrim again. You may survive this yet! While we pay our enforcement people large amounts of money to carry out justice against anyone who harms a female Khajiit (bandits excepted), they rarely go beyond the borders of Skyrim. Though they have been known to do so. It seems they particularly enjoy carrying out your specific punishment for some reason. Also it appears to be the female warriors that are most likely to pursue you to the ends of Tamriel too. So if you do fail to escape, you can at least feel some consolation in the beauty of your executioner before she performs the ULTIMATE rectal exam.

#9 – Aftermath.

Was it worth it? That’s a question only you and your lover can judge. Most Khajiit lovers are perfectly fine without ever straying into this uncharted territory. But, if you’ve followed all of these suggestions, you and your Khajiit should now be peacefully laying back (well, she may be laying on her front) and thinking about the experience. You can even ask her if she would like you to clean her up down there. If your level of intimacy has reached this level, there is likely no part of her body forbidden to you. Use that intimacy. Give her a backrub. (No pun intended – she’s probably had quite enough attention down there!) Massage her tail. Stroke her ears. Let her know how much it meant to you. She deserves pampering now. If she falls to sleep under your slow manipulations and begins to purr, you win.

#10 – Further advice.

We at Tails of the Khajiit are happy to provide more information and advice, but we cannot do so to just anyone in Skyrim. We offer this ongoing service only to female Khajiits between the ages of 18 and 35. (Of note, if the applicant actually enjoys anal sex, an exception to the age restrictions may be made – but only on the high side!) Offers of employment in our modelling role may also be made to applicants should they be unusually extroverted in temperament.

FORUM – TotK

The following is an extract from Tails of the Khajiit magazine. Images were not present in the original magazine.

FORUM – The Nord and the Khajiit

I am a proud Nord of Skyrim and have never had much use for Khajiits. I always felt they were nothing but a bunch of lowlife theives, and those trading caravans were just a way of selling their illegal wares. But some months ago I learned differently.

I found myself trekking through a mountainous path a bit west of Windhelm when I was attacked by a Frost Troll. I am no milk drinker, but this thing was huge and fierce! The battle was long and I was beginning to tire, but the troll was relentless. I found myself up above some old dwarven ruins when the beast rushed me and I had just enough time to raise my sword in a last-ditch effort to avoid the collision. My sword pierced clean through the massive body but the force knocked me and it over a precipice and the last thing I felt was cold rushing air around me as I knew my life was over.

Yet I awoke not to find myself in Sovengarde, but instead inside a dark tent with only a flickering candle for illumination. It took no time to recognize that I was suffering from multiple wounds when I tried to move. I lay back down and waited for the pain to leave my head. How I survived the fall I could only guess, but my wounds didn’t seem too bad. Those that had not been bandaged however showed they had healed somewhat, which made me realize that I must have been under someone’s care for quite a while.

When I’d recovered my wits, I looked around the interior. Outside the wind was howling and it was obvious that I was still in the wilds, but the tent was quite sturdy and well insulated. There was an odd scent within, one I couldn’t quite place. It wasn’t offensive, just… unusual. However, as time wore on I realized how hungry I was. I could find no food within my reach, though I did find a skin with plenty of water nearby. I drank from it gratefully and dozed off again.

When I next awoke, I was not alone.

The sounds she uttered were completely foreign to me, and though she wore no clothing at all, she wore a crude belt at her waist and a sort of bandolier across her chest with various small tools within. These, I noticed, were no rough-hewn implements she had made herself, but finely worked items which showed she was at least somewhat civilized.

The tent we were in was so thickly covered that only the barest sliver of light showed through the flap that indicated that it was day outside, but the constant wind noise made it clear that a snowstorm was ongoing. Yet inside it seemed that our body heat was enough to keep it comfortable, and I soon appreciated the craftsmanship of this small but efficient shelter she had created. Soon, however, the water I had drunk asserted itself again and I looked around for something to use. I was all but naked and I saw none of my armor in the tent, should I even be capable of rising to go outside.

She didn’t seem to understand, so I explained in the most obvious way possible with a bit of a demonstration. To that she laughed and produced a small pot. In a rather futile display of modesty, I did my business turned away from her in the cramped space, though the tinkling of my urine seemed obscenely loud. When I was finished, I crawled back under the blanket. The Khajiit pulled a sort of loose fur cloak over herself and dutifully took the pot and went outside to dispose of it. As the blast from outside hit me, I was certainly grateful for the insulation provided by the blanket and once again was impressed by the thermal efficiency of this place.

When she returned and closed the flap, the heat loss inside was obvious and it would take some time to get back to tolerable levels, so I did not protest when she removed her equipment and snuggled up next to me. To say I appreciated her warmth would be an understatement. It was the first time I’d been this close to a Khajiit, but I put my arms around her and we huddled together under the blanket till our breath stopped creating frost-smoke in the tent. I recognized on her that strange but pleasant scent I have smelled before, and don’t mind admitting that I became aroused. She could not have missed that for she took me in her warm hands and adjusted me so that my erection stopped poking her. She then returned my embrace and we held each other for some time till the heat returned.

Her body was small but lithe, breasts quite adequate for her frame but muscled and tight against her chest. The fur on her chest and belly itself was quite short and was much lighter than that covering the rest of her. When she pressed herself against me, the points of her nipples were quite evident. Of other, more intimate details I have little to add. Between her legs the lighter fur continued unabated. I confess to having spied that area when she would prepare food or drink for me, but it was – at least to my eyes – not unattractive and quite similar to the Nord standard in that respect, though smaller due to her overall stature as would be expected.

I am not good at languages, I’m afraid. I’m sure she tried to tell me her name, but I just couldn’t make out where one word stopped and the next one started. But she fed me some dried meat of a sort I didn’t recognize and we

remained in that tent for a couple of days as the weather outside continued with only occasional breaks. I’m afraid I embarassed myself on one occasion when I made what must have seemed like some very crude advances on her, but she rebuffed me gently enough yet made it clear that no such activities were going to happen. Still, the feel of her against my body and that natural scent were almost intoxicating and I could not help my body’s reaction which she didn’t seem to mind even if she would not join me for any more intimate activities.

On the third day, however, I awoke to silence outside and a noticable lack of Khajiit in the tent. By the entrance to the tent lay my equipment, and I’d healed enough to put them on and step outside. The snow lay thick around the tent, and for the first time I realized that it was positioned near the ruins where I had fallen. I also saw that the tent itself had been made partially from the pelt of the troll which had been expertly skinned. It was no stretch of the imagination to figure out where the meat I had eaten had come from either. I then noticed for the first time that all her equipment was gone from inside and outside the tent, and I realized with some sadness that she had gone.

I called for her again, with more urgency and I saw her silhouetted against the sky for just a moment high above me. I waved and she waved back, not knowing what else to say or do. It almost appeared she blew me a kiss, but from that distance, it may have been my imagination. When finally I had managed to get up to where she had been, I found no trace of her. No tracks at all marked her presence. I’ve long wondered what happened to her. Yet I never saw or heard from her again.

Since that encounter, I’ve always treated Khajiits with a heightened sense of respect. I’ve since learned to speak, though poorly I’m sure, in their native tongue and go out of my way to speak to any I meet. Sometimes, if I’m in that area, I’ll inquire of any that might live out in the wilds, but if I’m asking the question correctly, none have known of her. I know I owe her my life which I will never be able to repay, but instead I do try and speak up for the Khajiit race among my fellow Nords. Skyrim is a vast and fertile land. There is room for all of us here.

*From the Tails of the Khajiit editors:

The preceeding was an excerpt from the Tails of the Khajiit magazine FORUM
section. It was submitted anonymously and published in the Udaran –
Special Edition. It has since come to light that the two parties
involved have, in fact, met – and indeed married – due to the
publication of this story. They have requested continued anonymity but
they now live peacefully on a remote homestead relatively near Whiterun.

Udaran – TotK

Welcome readers to our first ever interview with Udaran. This interview was conducted live in the Paradise Valley, home of Tails of the Khajiit.

“Hello Udaran! Do you have a minute? We’d like to interview you for your Special Edition.”

(to her assistant) “No damn it. If it was any thinner it would go right up my cunt! Look, camel toe is one thing, but I’m not having my labia on display for the whole world! And you (motions to photographer). Don’t you dare take a shot up my ass. This thing goes so thin back there it doesn’t even cover my asshole. I mean it. If I see a single shot with my sphincter showing I swear I’ll shove your camera down your throat. And don’t give me that bullshit about that you didn’t notice either. You’re paid to OBSERVE, so be observant! Got it?”

“Er… Udaran?”

“Yeah? What do you want?”

“Your interview…”

“Oh! Now? Well dammit wait one second…” (removes leotard and hands it to assistant) “See if you can make some alterations to it. But do NOT make it thinner! I’ve got to do this interview.”

“Okay, you were saying?”

“Ummm… A…Are you okay with doing this naked?”

“Fuck I was all but naked before. Go on, interview away. I’ve got a few minutes. Did you see that thing? It’s like wearing a fucking string? How am I supposed to do that? You can’t WEAR A STRING!” (yells back at assistant)

“Well, let’s start there. Can I assume you don’t like that leotard?”

“Oh, it’s great if I want to have a self-induced orgasm! Most of them seem to be like that. They want to get right up into your cunt. Sorry to disillusion you. It may make for a sexy shot, but it’s damn hard to concentrate on posing when you just want to rub yourself and get off!”

“I… guess not! We’ve seen you in a wide range of outfits over the years. What would you say was your favorite?”

(thinks seriously for a moment) “I think my favorite would be that blue nightie… About a year ago I think.”

“Really? As I recall it was quite transparent!”

“Definitely, but it was so light. Felt almost like nothing at all. But our cameraman is very good. He made sure nothing was quite showing.” (looks at cameraman) “He’s really the best, though if I recall correctly, when I was doing that blue nightie shoot, it had ridden up to my waist without me knowing it. And there he was, shooting away regardless!”

“But they didn’t make it into the Tails.”

“Well of course not. But I still have my doubts if they were all destroyed or not.”

“What do you think about the nudity policy at the Tails anyway?”

“Oh, I think it’s fine. Look, we all know the primary audience for the Tails. It’s a wank rag. But at least it’s a higher-class wank rag right? The readers may not know it, but they really don’t want to see the plumbing anyway. I mean, if I were to model like this (spreads legs and vulva) it would get them off in about 10 seconds. But then what? If they were lucky they might manage a couple more before they were bored.”

(GULPS) “I find it hard to believe they’d get bored of that!”

“Trust me, they would. They do. But look at this. (grabs swatch of cloth and lets it fall over her pussy) "That alone is like, 100 times more erotic. Because you CAN’T see it. But you know it’s there, and your imagination fills in the rest. And trust me, imagination is better. Because it’s different for every guy. One guy may imagine my plumbing looks one way, another imagines it slightly differently. Plus… watch this…”(slowly pulls swatch up until edge just barely covering her) “Now it’s even sexier, because the slightest breeze could bare all. Hell, I can see your pants bulge now. Try and tell me that isn’t sexier than a full on cunt shot!”

“I… don’t think I can. You obviously study your craft, Udaran!”

“Damn straight I do. One day I’ll be too old to do this. But before that day comes I’m going to be the best I can possibly be!”

“Well, let’s move on to another topic. I understand you have a relationship with one of the other girls here at the Tails.”

(Udaran’s face relaxes from it’s normal intensity) “Oh yes. Cheetah. She keeps me sane. You know, I had a long term relationship with Sabhira back before… You know. Before she was killed. I never thought I’d get over her. But then Cheetah came into my life and I learned that life is long. I still love Sabhira like no other before or since, but Cheetah is so different, I love her differently, you know? It’s hard to explain.”

(Cheetah hears her name and stops by, sitting behind Udaran.)

“Are same-sex relationships common at the Tails?”

“Oh, maybe a little more common than in the outside world. You have to remember, we’re constantly thinking about sex here. It’s our jobs. But there are very few males here that we have the opportunity to relate with. So yeah, things tend to be a bit female-centric. Still, I’d say most are straight. Cheetah still likes the dick, I can tell you. But then, she comes from a somewhat unusual background.”

(Cheetah protests that she likes the pussy just as much)

“As you can see, we have an unusual relationship. We’re not precisely monogamous. But yeah, probably a little more same-sex in here than on the outside, but that’s to be expected.”

“Do you think your readers will be disappointed to find out you’re not interested in them sexually?”

“Well, to those who do, all I can say is ‘Sorry guys’. But on the other hand, I think they’d understand. I mean… come here Cheetah…”

(Cheetah smiles and walks up beside Udaran).

“Now just look at that body. Those pert boobs… Turn around Cheetah.” (Cheetah turns around and bends over) “Look at that tail! That ass!” (Udaran spanks Cheetah’s butt at which the other Khajiit yelps)

“Now really, can you blame me guys? I don’t hate you. I even appreciate your equipment! I just drool at the sight of a curvy female form like Cheetah’s.”

“I think most of your fans can understand, since they think the same of your form. Speaking of which, your breasts are rather unusually large for a Khajiit. Do you do anything to enhance them?”

(Udaran laughs) “I do EVERYTHING to enhance them! Everything I can think of. I was blessed with unusually large boobs by my mother, but I also know what they imply. I work out every single day keeping my upper body muscles strong so that they remain as tight as I can keep them. They’re nowhere near the perky set that Cheetah and the other girls have. But I guess ‘the grass is always greener’ applies here. They might be jealous of my big bouncy tits, but I’m just as jealous of their tight and slim tits. They keep me on my toes.”

“Speaking of other girls, the Tails of the Argonian girls live in the valley with you Khajiits. Are there any issues with having both races in such close proximity?”

“The lizards? Oh, don’t worry, they call us the cats. It’s all in fun. No, really there’s no competition between us at all I don’t think. Our audience just doesn’t cross over to theirs and vice versa very often. We have done the occasional multi-racial shoot. But for the most part, at least professionally, we don’t have much rivalry there.”

“The Tails of the Khajiit has substantially higher subscription rates than the Argonians though. Is that a problem?”

“Not at all. Look, the majority of our subscribers are humans or elves. Khajiit subscribers are actually a very small percentage of our fan base. But the majority of Argonian subscribers are Argonians themselves. I think perhaps it’s a mammalian/reptilian divide (even though Argonian’s aren’t really reptiles).”

“I see. And how about relationships between the races? Do you… mingle?”

“Are you kidding?! Look, sex is sex. It’s getting nasty with someone else you find sexy. If two people can communicate, they can get horny. Scales, fur, skin, it’s all just fetish material to someone. We kitties love to get frisky with all types, and in my experience it works the other way around too. So yeah, we have cross-racial relationships. Sometimes just… temporary, but some more lasting too.”

“You know, there are rumors of parties here in the Valley. And naturally the rumors are erotic in nature too. Is it true? Do you really have orgies in here?”

“Orgies? No, I wouldn’t say ORGIES. We do have parties. And sometimes we do invite people from outside. Alcohol is consumed and things happen sometimes, as they would at any party. But I think the word ‘orgy’ tends to conjure up images where the purpose of the party is to have sex with anyone and everyone. We don’t do that.”

“But… you do invite outsiders in sometimes?”

“Of course! Special donors, high political figures, even random readers sometimes. But it is by invitation only. We have a unique security arrangement here. There’s only one way into the Valley and that way is barred, gated and under security guard 24/7. We don’t have a security problem. So the only way to attend one of our parties is to be invited.”

“And… how would one get such an invitation?”

“Oh, I don’t know. You’d have to ask H.”

(H – the pseudonym of the owner of the Tails magazine.)

“Cheetah wants to know if you’d like to attend one.”

“Me? Well… I’m really just here to do this interview.”

(Udaran’s leotard is returned by her assistant. She is helped into it by Cheetah.)

“It does feel better. Does it look good down there to you?)

(Interviewer somewhat flustered) "Um… It…”

“Oh come on, don’t be shy. I can’t see down that far.”

“It looks fine…?”

“Oh you’re hopeless. Cheetah, come check me out. Thanks. Now come on, let’s get this shoot done. We have a party to go to afterwards right Chee? What? You’ve been drinking already? Damn, you’re ahead of me. Give me a shot.”

(Cheetah hands her a drink which is downed instantly.)

“Tell you what, Chee, why don’t you keep this guy around. He’d be fun at the party.”

“Well I don’t know. Suck his dick or something. He’s been bursting his crotch for an hour.”

“Cheetah, I didn’t mean… Now stop it Chee. Put your panties back on. WHOA! Nice face-sitting! You better let him up though. I don’t think he can breath. I don’t care Chee, get off him. Sorry about that mister. She get’s a bit horny when she’s been drinking. Oh? Well, if you really WANT to. Okay, I’ll be back in an hour or so after the shoot is over. Chee, you’re welcome to keep entertaining our guest till then.”

(muffled voice of Udaran fades away.)

Fellatio and Fangs – TotK

Fellatio and Fangs
How to avoid disaster.

by Tails of the Khajiit staff writer (Chuck M.)

Fangs. They’re part of why we love our dearest Khajiits so much. There’s just one problem, those things are sharp! Yet behind those ivory gateways are the most delightful tongues known to Tamriel. If your lover is like the girls at the Tails, your Khajiit playmate loves to use it on all your most erogenous zones too. Yet for many of us male Khajiit lovers, there’s one area of sex play that is often avoided. Fellatio. And that’s a pity because, with the right technique and precautions, your kitten can be the ravenous wildcat she was born to be behind closed doors!

Okay, let’s not beat around the bush here, even the bravest of Nords would think twice before risking his manhood to those carnivorous fangs. If your lover isn’t enamored with the idea of accepting your sexual advances orally, this is your exit point. Nothing we at Tails of the Khajiit can say is going to protect you from a nip if she doesn’t want it in there! So for you unlucky folk, we can only advise finding other, less risky avenues of pleasure with your furry friend.

But if your lover is game, there’s no reason you can’t have it all! And the experience can be mind-blowing. (no pun intended.) The combination of her wanton, lustful growling and that heavenly raspy tongue will have you grabbing her by those ears in no time. It may take some time and careful practice, but it is worth every minute.

First, as with fellatio with any race in Tamriel, you must talk with her first about expectations. Some will be happy to accept your full length, but others simply won’t be able to tolerate the natural gag reflex. You do NOT want to be pounding away at her throat when that instinct takes over or you’ll soon find out that nature is working against both of your desires. If your lover has this problem, best to practice with somethig a bit less ATTACHED to you! Sausages are one easily obtained practice method, and can be cut to simulate your length and girth. But be careful – you don’t want her to begin to associate food with this act. If she eats the sausage while trying to practice, it’s doubtful you want to continue down that road.

Fortunately, nature has equipped your lover with a muzzle and, unless you are blessed with longer than average equipment, this gag reflex may be minimal or non-existant. For a change, you can actually celebrate your non-gargantuan apparatus! Sorry, Orcs.

Another thing you should agree on beforehand – how far are you going to go? Just because your kitty loves to wrap her tongue around your man meat doesn’t mean she wants you to bust a nut in there. Also, remember than when you shoot your load, that load is going to hit the back of her throat even if haven’t got a 12 inch fire hose. And that can cause, you guessed it, the dreaded gag reflex. Neither of you want that. Better to give her a facial that she can wash off than for her to shorten your manhood before it’s time!

Speaking of which, we recommend Dragon’s Breath Mead as an inexpensive yet quite effective method of removing your spunk from her fur. Granted it will leave her smelling like a drunken tart in Riften, but a bath can take care of that, and you can have even more fun in the bath! So don’t be a bastard. Take responsibility and help her clean up after. She’ll thank you for it, and be more keen to have a return performance.

Finally, if she is really into you and wants to do this for you, but she can’t control her bite reflex, there are appliances available. Any reputable dentist in Skyrim can sell these to you. Just remember, she has to want this as much (preferably more) than you do. She still has claws, and your testicles are in dangerously easy reach. We do not in any way recommend any sort of bondage with your Khajiit lover as standard policy at Tails of the Khajiit. We love our kitties and would never do anything that would in any way cause them pain or discomfort.

As part of our ongoing social responsibility policy, we engage the services of top adventurers to root out and emasculate any males engaged in non-consensual acts with Khajiits all over Skyrim.* As part of that enforcement effort, we do not provide healing potions or any other remediation upon loss of the culprit’s penis. Some have been known to bleed out and die. Our mission statement is to promote our love of female Khajiits throughout Tamriel, and we take that statement very seriously.

We hope these tips will help you and your lover to engage safely in this incredibly pleasurable expression of love with her. For those fortunate enough to have a lover who enjoys this method of love-making, you already know the incredible sensation awaiting those who haven’t tried it yet.

If you are yourself a female Khajiit between the ages of 18 and 35 and would like to get more information on how you can learn to be the best lover you can be, please send a photo to us at Tails of the Khajiit, or stop by our office at the base of the Throat of the World. We have people standing by to help. Ask for Chuck.

* (disclaimer – adventurer who comes looking for your ass may bear little resemblance to that depicted.)

This article brought to you at the fine folks who make Dragon’s Breath mead.

Dragon’s Breath Mead – “It smells a damned sight better than warm cat piss and tastes somewhat better too!“

Krris #14 – Epilogue

Krris and Ubergard were seldom seen for a few days after that. They would ask for their breakfast to be set outside their door, come out to make their security rounds in mid afternoon, and retreat to her room shortly after dark. Yet when they did emerge, laughing and touching each other in a way that only the most intimate of couples will do, Muz-Ra would look away. As the days went on, Ubergard began to notice this, even if no one else did. One day she happened across Muz-Ra near her room and asked speak to her for a minute. Muz-Ra nodded and ushered the giantess into her room, closing the door behind her.
“What is it Red? You barely talk to me anymore. You don’t talk to Krris at all. Did we offend you in some way?” Muz-Ra looked away. “I’m sorry Uber. Of course not. I love you both. But… I’m going to be moving out of Castle Kitty.” “WHAT? No Red, you don’t need to move out! Stay with us!”
“I… can’t,” she replied with the sadness so evident on her face Ubergard was hard pressed not to hug her and tell her everything would be alright. “Why not? If it’s something we’ve done we’ll stop! I know we’ve been pretty obvious about our affair. We can stop that.” Muz-Ra shook her head, looking away again. Suddenly Ubergard understood completely.
“You fell in love with him didn’t you?” Muz-Ra looked back at her, unable to speak but nodding her head. “Oh Red, I’m sorry,” Ubergard said and hugged her friend to her chest. “I’m so sorry.” “You warned me…” Muz-Ra choked.
“I did, didn’t I? He’s damned easy to love.” “I can’t stand it Ubergard. I can’t stand to see the two of you together. I thought I could. Oh Uber, I don’t hate you! I don’t hate either of you. But I can’t stay here.” Ubergard nuzzled her good friend of years. “No. You can’t. I’ll miss you Red. We ALL will. Probably Kitty most of all. She needs your light-hearted nature Red. But no, you must go. Where will you go?”
“Back to the Tails if they’ll have me. I… I’ve been thinking about the Jarl’s proposal too. When he comes back I might…” Ubergard nodded and hugged her tightly again before they stood up. “Thank you for all you gave us, Red. You gave more than you ever anticipated.” “I want him so bad, Uber! Why is that? I’ve had so many men before. Why this one?” “No idea. You’re the wise, experienced one remember?”
“Well your wise, experienced friend fucked this up royally,” Muz-Ra croaked. Ubergard held her for a long time. “Yeah,” she admitted. “You did Red. You fucked up.” Finally she released her smaller friend, “Will you come back to visit?” Muz-Ra nodded, again speechless for a moment. “I’ll miss you Uber. I’ll miss all of you so much!”
“I can never thank you enough for your sacrifice Red, but if it helps, you did a hell of a job with him. He’s my passionate lion now.” Muz-Ra winced at those words, recalling her own similar phrase and fell to her knees, “I… I wouldn’t do it again.” “What?” “They alway say, ‘If I had it to do over again…’,” Muz-Ra said huskily. “I wouldn’t Uber. I wouldn’t do it again. I wish I’d never touched him.”
Ubergard held her friend as she repeated “I wouldn’t… I wouldn’t…” She held Muz-Ra till the other calmed down and assured her she was okay. She made Ubergard promise not to tell Krris though. Finally Ubergard left her friend and returned to her own room and her waiting lover where she said nothing about it. And Muz-Ra slept alone. She moved out the next day back to the Tails, where she stayed till the Jarl returned, finally moving in permanently to Dragon’s Reach.
The End of ‘Krris’.

Krris #13

Both Muz-Ra and Krris rose late the next morning, and it was obvious to all at breakfast that they had both taken a long bath together. After breakfast, Ubergard looked worried as they began their sparring. “Krris, do I need to worry about you… and Red?” Krris laughed, “No, I don’t think so Uber. I think we’re good. Why?” “You just seem a bit different this morning. More relaxed. If I didn’t know better…”
“What?” “I’d say you and Muz-Ra…” “Ubergard, if you insist I’ll tell you all about it. But you can believe me when I say that Red is the best friend you or I’ve ever had.” “No. Best not. Let’s fight instead!”
They finished their workout and went back to the bath. This time, Krris was watching the way her body moved openly, with an interest she hadn’t seen in him before the other day. He also seemed no longer embarrassed about the erection he had developed and she decided not to tease him about it. “You were slow today, Krris.” “My heart wasn’t in it. I’m sorry. But last night I had what you can call a major revelation. A breakthrough you might say.”
“Oh? Well, that sounds good!” “It was good. But I need to change my accomodations tonight.” “That much eh? You’re done sleeping with Red then?” “Yes, Uber. I’m done sleeping with Red.”
“Well, I can’t say I’m not glad. I love Red like a sister, but I was feeling a little jealous.” “I know Uber. I can’t say I love her like a sister, but in my own way, I do too. But I’m not moving back to my old room.” “No?” Ubergard asked, brightening up at what she anticipated was coming. “No Ubergard. I know I’ve not been very… loving with you. You know I had that thing with Udaran. Well that’s over now. Well and truly over. Ubergard, if you want me like I want you, I’d like to move in with you tonight.”
“Well! That’s pretty bold of you, don’t you think? Maybe you shouldn’t make such assumptions without asking first!” Krris was taken aback. He assumed she would welcome this. “No? I’m sorry Uber, I just… well… I’m sorry. I’ll move back into my room instead.” “That’s right, you will. I’m not a toy to play with when you feel you want me, Krris. We all know how Red is. I’m just not her Krris.” He nodded, though she noticed his eyes only barely left her breasts and she smiled inside. She might technically be a virgin herself, but she knew the Game. He would never be satisfied for long with a woman that bent over at his merest whim. Besides which that simply wasn’t her style.
She looked at him, pointing up to her eyes. He moved his eyes up slowly, guiltily. “Oh, now you have the wrong idea. Come here, you damned… MAN!” she said, and pulled him to her breasts, this time forcing one into his mouth. “Suck on this.” Under her towering head, he did as he was commanded.
She revelled in the feeling. It had been a while since she had had any physical affection. She felt herself melting and moved him to her other teat. “Oh my God Krris, that feels so good.” “Mrrrph” he mumbled, though she felt his lips pull back in a smile. She released him, finding herself panting.
“Now who’s the aggressive one?” Krris laughed. “Well, I might let you visit my room later…” she admitted. “I’ll be there!” Krris said, climbing up out of the pool, his manhood standing at attention. Ubergard found herself fascinated.
“And bring that with you!” Ubergard said, appreciating his engorgement. “All for you, Uber, it’s all yours.” Ubergard crawled out of the pool like an alligator stalking its prey. “Hey! Careful with that!” Ubergard smiled and felt a deep satisfaction, marred only by her current unrequited horniness. But that would be solved soon enough. She restrained her urge to take him in her mouth though. “Best not be too aggressive!” she thought, and tried to put all thoughts of sex out of her mind until later when it could do some good. Yet suddenly her future seemed a whole lot brighter, and she knew she had Muz-Ra to thank for it.
That night passed slowly for Ubergard and Krris. Delightfully slowly. It turned out that Muz-Ra’s prediction wasn’t quite right, Ubergard thought to herself. He’d barely lasted 10 minutes. But he recovered very quickly and was soon at it again, so the result was even better! But even the mighty feline stamina of a horny young Khajiit couldn’t last forever and sometime after midnight he’d given up his last. It was then that she discovered his amazing oral talents and another kind of stamina that actually did surpass her own. She wasn’t sure if she had finally fallen asleep or if the term ‘passed out’ would be more appropriate for her loss of consciousness under his relentless but gentle lips and tongue. She knew only that she had faded away with his hands under her ass, strongly lifting her sex to his mouth, and his whiskers stimulating the insides of her legs. She had definitely met her match and it was the happiest defeat she had ever known.